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#954980 - Tue Dec 11 2012 07:50 PM Definitions
ren33 Offline
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Registered: Thu Sep 30 1999
Posts: 12039
Loc: Fanling
  Hong Kong      
I thought I would start a new joke thread for the season, so maybe you could put your favouite definitions here. Mine might be:

What do you call a woman who stands between two goal posts?

Annette.
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#955034 - Wed Dec 12 2012 06:44 AM Re: Definitions [Re: ren33]
sooz888 Offline
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Registered: Thu Mar 31 2011
Posts: 24
Loc: Shropshire UK
I warn you Ren, you are going to get some real groaners smile How about an old festive one?


What do you call Santa's little helpers?


Subordinate Clauses

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#955049 - Wed Dec 12 2012 07:47 AM Re: Definitions [Re: sooz888]
ren33 Offline
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Registered: Thu Sep 30 1999
Posts: 12039
Loc: Fanling
  Hong Kong      
arghhh!
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#955079 - Wed Dec 12 2012 12:09 PM Re: Definitions [Re: ren33]
ozzz2002 Offline
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Registered: Mon Dec 03 2001
Posts: 18583
Loc: Sydney NSW Australia        
And what do you call a dog with no legs?

It doesn't matter what you call him- he is not going to come, anyway...
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#955413 - Thu Dec 13 2012 08:55 PM Re: Definitions [Re: ozzz2002]
ren33 Offline
Moderator

Registered: Thu Sep 30 1999
Posts: 12039
Loc: Fanling
  Hong Kong      
What do you call a man with a car on his head?
Jack.
What do you call a woman with only one leg to her trousers?
Jean
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#955420 - Thu Dec 13 2012 09:30 PM Re: Definitions [Re: ren33]
ozzz2002 Offline
Moderator

Registered: Mon Dec 03 2001
Posts: 18583
Loc: Sydney NSW Australia        
And if the same woman had one leg shorter than the other?
Eileen.

What do you call a man laying on your doorstep?
Matt.
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The key to everything is patience. You get the chicken by hatching the egg, not smashing it.

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#955596 - Fri Dec 14 2012 06:10 PM Re: Definitions [Re: ozzz2002]
ASA Offline
Multiloquent

Registered: Tue Oct 15 2002
Posts: 4298
Loc: Adelaide
South Australia   
What did Barry Manilow call Lola the Dancer.


Rover


(His name was Rico.
He wore a diamond.
He was escorted to his chair;
he saw Lola dancing there --
and when she finished,
he called her Rover.)
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So much time ...... so little to do

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#955661 - Sat Dec 15 2012 10:48 AM Re: Definitions [Re: ASA]
ClaraSue Offline
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Registered: Sun May 18 2003
Posts: 7837
Loc: Arizona USA
Rover....LOL!
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#956184 - Tue Dec 18 2012 04:26 PM Re: Definitions [Re: ClaraSue]
skunkee Offline
Forum Champion

Registered: Thu Oct 16 2003
Posts: 9932
Loc: Burlington Ontario Canada  
This reminds me of some of my favourite books.

"Disaster on the Cliff" by Eileen Dover
"Rusty Bedsprings" by I.P. Nightly
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#956270 - Wed Dec 19 2012 12:38 AM Re: Definitions [Re: skunkee]
ren33 Offline
Moderator

Registered: Thu Sep 30 1999
Posts: 12039
Loc: Fanling
  Hong Kong      
We had a "really naughty" one at school
Short Skirts by Seymour Nix
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#956304 - Wed Dec 19 2012 03:27 AM Re: Definitions [Re: ren33]
Chavs Offline
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Registered: Fri Jul 15 2011
Posts: 1125
Loc: Ireland
I can recommend "A Brief History of Time" by Millie Second.

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#956315 - Wed Dec 19 2012 06:23 AM Re: Definitions [Re: Chavs]
ren33 Offline
Moderator

Registered: Thu Sep 30 1999
Posts: 12039
Loc: Fanling
  Hong Kong      
Sea Birds by Al Batross
I love Wills by Benny Fishery
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#956316 - Wed Dec 19 2012 06:38 AM Re: Definitions [Re: ren33]
ozzz2002 Offline
Moderator

Registered: Mon Dec 03 2001
Posts: 18583
Loc: Sydney NSW Australia        
'The Broken Window', by Eva Brick.
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The key to everything is patience. You get the chicken by hatching the egg, not smashing it.

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#957778 - Fri Dec 28 2012 05:40 AM Re: Definitions [Re: ozzz2002]
Lones78 Offline
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Registered: Mon Apr 27 2009
Posts: 1420
Loc: Forrestfield Western Australia
What do you call a man with no arms and legs floating in the ocean?

Bob


What do you call a man moving through the bushes?

Russell
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#978077 - Sat Apr 13 2013 04:34 PM Re: Definitions [Re: ren33]
Davjack Offline
Mainstay

Registered: Wed Jan 12 2000
Posts: 705
Loc: Sydney
NSW Australia
"Crime does not pay" by Robin Banks

"How to clean your glasses" by Seymour Clearly
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#978511 - Mon Apr 15 2013 08:09 PM Re: Definitions [Re: ren33]
paul4760 Offline
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Registered: Sun Mar 10 2013
Posts: 43
Loc: Iowa USA
"The Golden Snows of the Himalayas", by I.P. Freelie.
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"Do what you want to the girl, but leave me alone!" George Carlin

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Moderator:  ozzz2002, Sypher