Terms of Use

Topic Options
#959491 - Sun Jan 06 2013 07:33 AM Scottish Obituary
vendome Offline

Registered: Sun May 21 2000
Posts: 1778
Loc: Body: PA USA Heart: Paris   
A Scottish woman goes to the local newspaper office to see that the obituary for her recently deceased husband is published.

The obit editor informs her that there is a charge of 50 cents per word.

She pauses, reflects, and then she says, "Well, then, let it read, 'Angus MacPherson died'."

Amused at the woman's thrift, the editor tells her that there is a seven word minimum for
all obituaries.

She thinks it over and in a few seconds says, "In that case, let it read.......

'Angus MacPherson died. Golf clubs for sale'."
I'm not going to buy my kids an encyclopedia. Let them walk to school like I did.
Yogi Berra

#960643 - Sat Jan 12 2013 08:17 AM Re: Scottish Obituary [Re: vendome]
sue943 Offline

Registered: Sun Dec 19 1999
Posts: 36789
Loc: Jersey
Channel Islands    
Many a child has been spoiled because you can't spank a Grandma!

#960701 - Sat Jan 12 2013 12:08 PM Re: Scottish Obituary [Re: vendome]
JanIQ Offline

Registered: Thu Jul 09 2009
Posts: 663
Loc: Antwerp
And why doesn't she take up golf herself?
I dreamt of spending a day riding a stallion. It was a nightmare.

#987618 - Tue Jun 11 2013 01:55 AM Re: Scottish Obituary [Re: vendome]
zippolover Offline
Forum Champion

Registered: Fri Nov 16 2012
Posts: 5717
Loc: Norfolk UK
Because they are men's clubs, not ladies
I changed my mind again...

#987878 - Wed Jun 12 2013 04:02 PM Re: Scottish Obituary [Re: vendome]
Dizart Offline
Star Poster

Registered: Fri Mar 16 2007
Posts: 17853
Loc: Buckhaven Fife Scotland UK   
Surprise, surprise, another disguided undeucated slur on Scottish people

#987931 - Wed Jun 12 2013 10:29 PM Re: Scottish Obituary [Re: vendome]
Copago Offline

Registered: Tue May 15 2001
Posts: 14384
Loc: Australia
But it was a funny disguised uneducated slur on Scottish people ...

#987936 - Wed Jun 12 2013 10:46 PM Re: Scottish Obituary [Re: vendome]
Jakeroo Offline

Registered: Sat Aug 30 2008
Posts: 2064
Loc: Alberta Canada
I'm Canadian by birth, but at least 3/4 Scottish by descent (not sure how those English, Irish and Polish personages snuck into the family picture - brigands no doubt lol). I thought it was pretty funny. Golf, after all (so they say), was invented in Scotland (as was curling, my other favourite sport - and hey just TRY selling curling rocks at a garage sale - you'd have to pay two small boys and a man to cart them away LOL!).

JaniQ: there is never enough golf in people's lives (male or female). Love the game (apparently I'm a glutton for self-abuse lol). Looking forward to retirement myself : )

Edited by Jakeroo (Wed Jun 12 2013 10:47 PM)
Everybody gets so much information all day long that they lose their common sense
- Gertrude Stein

#987950 - Thu Jun 13 2013 12:34 AM Re: Scottish Obituary [Re: vendome]
Jabberwok Offline

Registered: Tue Jun 24 2008
Posts: 427
Loc: Sussex England UK             
Well, we're not allowed to tease Americans Dizart, few of them can cope with it. laugh

When my father was getting maudlin, and composing his epitaph at length, we pointed out that they charge by the letter on tombstones. Being a thrifty type, he decided not to die on that occasion and to have a fit of the giggles instead.
Scotland, the country that defeated the Romans, given us so many inventors, engineers, and creative thinkers and is heading for independence.

Exporter of manufactured tartans to the gullible.

'What's black and blue and floats upside down in the Minch?
Do you know that one Dizart?
'The United Kingdom. Slightly smaller than Oregon'
CIA World Factbook

#1111036 - Sun Oct 04 2015 01:58 PM Re: Scottish Obituary [Re: vendome]
HairyBear Offline

Registered: Fri Sep 01 2006
Posts: 475
Loc: Florida USA
So what's the punch line? Though not being Scottish, I probably won't get the joke.


Moderator:  ozzz2002, Sypher