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#962862 - Thu Jan 24 2013 10:46 AM They Said What?
vendome Offline
Prolific

Registered: Sun May 21 2000
Posts: 1778
Loc: Body: PA USA Heart: Paris   
Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself’, Lillian, you should have remained a virgin..'
- Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter)
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I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalogue: - 'No good in a bed, but fine against a wall.'
- Eleanor Roosevelt
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Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement..
- Mark Twain
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The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible
- George Burns
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Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year.
- Victor Borge
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Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
- Mark Twain
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By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
- Socrates
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I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
- Groucho Marx
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My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe.
- Jimmy Durante
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I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
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Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.
- Alex Levine
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My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying.
- Rodney Dangerfield
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Money can't buy you happiness .... But it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.
- Spike Milligan
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Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was SHUT UP .
- Joe Namath
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I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap.
- Bob Hope
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I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it..
- W. C. Fields
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We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress.
- Will Rogers
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Don't worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you.
- Winston Churchill
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Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty .. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out..
- Phyllis Diller
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By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere.
- Billy Crystal
And the cardiologist's diet: - If it tastes good spit it out.
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May your troubles be less, may your blessings be more, and
may nothing but happiness come through your door.
_________________________
I'm not going to buy my kids an encyclopedia. Let them walk to school like I did.
Yogi Berra

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#962878 - Thu Jan 24 2013 11:32 AM Re: They Said What? [Re: vendome]
mehaul Offline
Forum Champion

Registered: Wed Feb 03 2010
Posts: 6366
Loc: Florida USA
Never hire anyone whose name is Congress. They won't agree with you, they'll have the other guy's best interest at heart and they simply won't show up for work so you can tell them they're fired.
_________________________
If you aren't seeing Heaven while you dream, you're doing something wrong.
Dreams allow escape from the passage of Time.

The ultimate activity is the Dream.

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#962912 - Thu Jan 24 2013 01:59 PM Re: They Said What? [Re: vendome]
Dotb Offline
Enthusiast

Registered: Sun Jan 04 2009
Posts: 377
Loc: Oswestry Shropshire UK       
Love these!!

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#962937 - Thu Jan 24 2013 04:21 PM Re: They Said What? [Re: vendome]
ren33 Offline
Moderator

Registered: Thu Sep 30 1999
Posts: 12039
Loc: Fanling
  Hong Kong      
Joe Namath reminds me of a friend who has a dog named "Stop it!".
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Wandering aimlessly through FT since 1999.

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