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#97147 - Tue Jun 27 2000 11:47 PM Thing to do on a crowded elevator
Akiko Offline
Learning the ropes...

Registered: Mon Jun 26 2000
Posts: 4
Loc: Sierra Vista, AZ, USA
Thing to do on a crowded elevator.

1. Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.
2. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your Kleenex to
other
passengers.
3. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and mutter: "Shut
up, all
of you just shut up!"
4. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.
5. Sell Girl Scout cookie.
6. On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the
elevator.
7. Shave.
8. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask:
Got
enough air in there?"
9. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours
upside-down.
10. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall,
without
getting off.
11. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain the yank the doors
open,
the act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
12. Lean over to another passenger and whisper Noogie patrol coming!"
13. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and
ask
them to call you Admiral.
14. One word: Flatulence!
15. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay
open
until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the
bottom.
16. Do Tai Chi exercises.
17. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while and then
announce:
"I've got new socks on!"
18. When at least 8 people have boarded moan from the back: "Oh, not
now,
notion sickness!"
19. Give religious facts to each passenger.
20. Meow occasionally.
21. Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
22. Frown and mutter " gotta go, gotta go" then sigh and say "oops!"
23. Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.
24. Sing "Mary had a little lamb" while continually pushing buttons.
25. Holler "Chutes away! Whenever the elevator descends.
26. Walk on with caller that says "human head" on the side.
27. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one
of
THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.
28. Burp and then say "Mmmmmm...tasty."
29. Leave a box between the doors.
30. Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them.
31. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers "through"
it.
32. Start a sing-along.
33. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "is that your
beeper?"

34. Play the harmonica.
35. Shadow box.
36. Say "Ding!" at each floor.
37. Lean against the button panel.
38. Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons.
39. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
40. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the
other
passengers that this is your "personal space."
41. Bring a chair along.
42. Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger: "Wanna see
wha in
muh mouf?"
43. Blow spit bubbles.
44. Pull your gum out of your mouth in little strings.
45. Announce in a demonic voice "I must find a more suitable host
body."
46. Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.
47. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
48. Wear " X-ray specs" and leer suggestively at the passengers.
49. Stare at your thumb and say "I think it's getting larger."
50. If anyone bushes against you recoil and holler :"Bad touch!"
51. Bring a water pistil. Soak everyone's shoes.
52. Start brushing off invisible bugs from your arms ,screaming
"aaughh!
Get them off!"
53. Challenge your neighbor to a "tic tac toe "tournament.
54. Laugh historically for five seconds, stop and glare at the other
passengers like thy are crazy.

55. Make chalk drawings on the wall.
56. As the elevator is going up, jump violently up and down, shouting
"Down! I said down, down!"
57. Crouch in one corner and growl menacingly at everyone who gets on.
58. Try to get a game of "Twister" going.
59. Wrinkle your nose and smell the air repeatedly. Sniff at your
neighbor
suspiciously, give a disgusted frown, and take a step away.
60. Change personalities when ever the elevator door is opened.
61. Act very contagious, while brushing against other passengers.


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#97148 - Tue Jun 27 2000 04:09 PM Re: Thing to do on a crowded elevator
JoJo2 Offline
Star Poster

Registered: Fri Nov 19 1999
Posts: 17656
Loc: San Diego California USA 
Hello and welcome Akiko, thanks for brightening up my day. I think I might try one or two of them for a laugh.

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#97149 - Sun Jul 09 2000 12:55 PM Re: Thing to do on a crowded elevator
Sunshine777 Offline
Enthusiast

Registered: Sun Jul 09 2000
Posts: 258
Loc: Belgium
Some of these are sooooooo funny! I think I will have to try some of them out! Thanks!

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#97150 - Sun Jul 09 2000 01:01 PM Re: Thing to do on a crowded elevator
Anonymous
No longer registered


My personal favorites-
3. Smack your forhead and say 'Shut, up. Shut, up all of you!'
5. Sell Girl Scout Cookies. (Does that include buying them, too?)
8. Open up suitcase and ask 'Got enough of air in their?'
9. Offer nametags to everyone.
13. Greet everyone on the elevator and ask them to call you admiral

I would keep on going and going, but these are all terrific. Can't say I tried any of them yet, though!

------------------
IndianPainter
Yard Sales Are The Third Most Emotional Day After Weddings and Funerals


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#97151 - Wed Jul 25 2001 04:01 PM Re: Thing to do on a crowded elevator
sue943 Online   content

Administrator

Registered: Sun Dec 19 1999
Posts: 35395
Loc: Jersey Channel Islands        
I know these are better placed in Jokes and Humour but they are so funny, even those which we have read before.
_________________________
Many a child has been spoiled because you can't spank a Grandma!

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#97152 - Sat Jul 28 2001 09:29 PM Re: Thing to do on a crowded elevator
malizma Offline
Prolific

Registered: Sat Jan 20 2001
Posts: 1104
Loc: Nashville Tennessee USA    
Sing the wrong lyrics with the irritating muzak in the background. If no music, just sing !!!
_________________________
Music is a sense of communication, it is a way to express the best of yourself to others, especially when you don't come across like a Hallmark card.-Lyle Mays

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#97153 - Tue Jul 31 2001 03:43 AM Re: Thing to do on a crowded elevator
Copago Offline
Moderator

Registered: Tue May 15 2001
Posts: 14050
Loc: Australia
still giggling ..... but i have to admit to doing number 30. Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them. .......... okay okay, I had had a little to drink and you can work the rest out for yourself!

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