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#97629 - Wed Aug 16 2000 11:40 PM Re: Positive Living Tip of the Day
sandalwood Offline
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Registered: Sun Oct 17 1999
Posts: 5643
Loc: Camarillo California USA
Testing My 'Value System'

How do I test out my own "value system"?

The way to test out your own value system on different issues is to try it out! For example, if you "think" you value putting your relationship before your career, you should test yourself by actually acting out in a way that "reflects" this value. This means you actually get home in time to help your partner make dinner, keep work at the office (and don't work on weekends, evenings), etc.

By testing your values, you may discover something about yourself. And remember: Sometimes, what we think of as values actually are "shoulds" given to us by others; and when we try to live them out, they often don't work in our real life. It is important to ask yourself what you value, then either live by your value system or change your value system to reflect what you truly believe.

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Sandalwood's Cosmic Creations: Working with the magic of love....

_________________________
If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands,you're eating it too slowly.

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#97630 - Thu Aug 17 2000 03:51 PM Re: Positive Living Tip of the Day
sandalwood Offline
Forum Champion

Registered: Sun Oct 17 1999
Posts: 5643
Loc: Camarillo California USA
Gratitude

Most of us were probably taught by our caregivers to say "thank you" and to be polite. We actually have a holiday called Thanksgiving to give thanks for all the wonderful things in our lives. So how does gratitude fit into a positive life?

Have you ever noticed how much you like to be with people who thank you for things you do, and who appreciate and acknowledge you? For these special people, you find yourself actually wanting to give them more and more of yourself. This is the essence behind gratitude: whenever you "give" thanks, you increase the positive energy that surrounds you at that very moment. The gratitude comes from opening your heart, the doorway to your soul. If you need an energy boost, remember there's more than one way to express thanks--mental, verbal, and written.

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Sandalwood's Cosmic Creations: Working with the magic of love....

_________________________
If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands,you're eating it too slowly.

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#97631 - Fri Aug 18 2000 11:14 PM Re: Positive Living Tip of the Day
sandalwood Offline
Forum Champion

Registered: Sun Oct 17 1999
Posts: 5643
Loc: Camarillo California USA
Stand By YOU

Why am I allowing some people to get to me?

Blaming others will always take away your "power." If you can discover why you are choosing to feel hurt, sad, or angry by someone else's actions or words, then you will learn so much about yourself.

We often allow others to convince us that we are wrong when we stand up for our beliefs, of that if we do, we'll lose that person's love. But remember that you will never be able to please everyone, and if you continue to try to please everyone, then you are losing out in feeling and expressing your own feelings. Strength is developed in the face of opposition. Do not allow another person to have authority over your feelings. Remember: Self-Respect means standing by your deepest truths and knowing your innermost feelings.

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Sandalwood's Cosmic Creations: Working with the magic of love....

_________________________
If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands,you're eating it too slowly.

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#97632 - Mon Aug 21 2000 09:27 AM Re: Positive Living Tip of the Day
JoJo2 Offline
Star Poster

Registered: Fri Nov 19 1999
Posts: 17656
Loc: San Diego California USA 
What Is Self-Worth? - Cheryl G., MS, Licensed Professional Counselor
Self-worth means paying attention to how you feel. You do not need reasons why you do things nor do you have to prove anything to another person about your worth. Instead of questioning yourself and your feelings, you must "validate" them by telling yourself these are your real feelings and no one can change how your feel about something. Too often we allow others to become authorities over us. For example, if someone tells us it is all our fault, we believe them. You don't have to ignore the other person, just make sure that you honor what you feel about the issue. This is part of feeding/building your self-esteem and self-worth you must have respect for your own feelings, words, actions, and behavior.

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#97633 - Wed Aug 23 2000 08:58 AM Re: Positive Living Tip of the Day
JoJo2 Offline
Star Poster

Registered: Fri Nov 19 1999
Posts: 17656
Loc: San Diego California USA 
Stop and Think!
Most of us tend to think in the moment, day, or within the week of where we are now. However, to achieve clarity about an issue, we must be willing to see the larger picture. This involves taking a look at an issue over a longer time frame and keeping the bigger perspective in mind when we make decisions.

Why?

The larger your view, the clearer you can be about the issues that you are dealing with now. You must be able to look at your issues from the perspective of your entire life span. For example, you get an uncomfortable feeling one day as you are sitting with your co-workers at happy hour, watching them slam down shots of tequila. Instead of taking your time to stop and think of the "entire" reason you're uncomfortable, you automatically tag your friends as irresponsible and reckless individuals. If you take a longer view, you would realize that you are uncomfortable because as a child your parents would take you to the bars and make you sit and wait for them as they drank shots of tequila. If you are willing to look at yourself as a whole, you can give yourself an opportunity to see with clarity why you feel the way you do.


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#97634 - Thu Aug 24 2000 10:37 AM Re: Positive Living Tip of the Day
sandalwood Offline
Forum Champion

Registered: Sun Oct 17 1999
Posts: 5643
Loc: Camarillo California USA
R-E-S-P-E-C-T

How come people don't treat me with respect?

The reason people do not treat you with respect is probably because you don't treat yourself with respect! Remember: How you treat yourself is how others will treat you. For example, if you sit around at work gossiping about your co-workers' problems, chances are you will attract other gossips, who will in turn gossip about you.

You don't have to be around people who disrespect you. But no matter how good you feel about yourself, there will always be those who do not treat you--or others--with respect. Therefore, if you do find yourself around disrespectful people, act with dignity and remember that they are not respecting you because they do not respect themselves. And don't get angry, as this only creates a power struggle. Keep your outlook positive, respect others, and act with dignity!

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Sandalwood's Cosmic Creations: Working with the magic of love....

_________________________
If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands,you're eating it too slowly.

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#97635 - Thu Aug 24 2000 10:37 AM Re: Positive Living Tip of the Day
sandalwood Offline
Forum Champion

Registered: Sun Oct 17 1999
Posts: 5643
Loc: Camarillo California USA
Triggers

If you've ever endured a traumatic situation, you may re-experience the feelings from the original trauma if something in your environment acts as a trigger. Why? The human brain remembers everything; its memory cells store information about every event that has occurred to its person, especially unusual events such as traumas. For example, anniversary dates, people, places, objects, and even emotional situations that remind the survivor of an original trauma can serve as triggers. Combat veterans, for example, may experience increased anxiety in certain months if these same months were ones during which they engaged in heavy combat; these are called anniversary reactions.

The brain does not know the difference between a real threat and one stored in the mind. So when your brain is set off by a trigger, you may feel as angry, threatened or confused as you did during the original event. If you have suffered from a traumatic experience in which you still get "triggered," seek support from a professional counselor.

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Sandalwood's Cosmic Creations: Working with the magic of love....

_________________________
If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands,you're eating it too slowly.

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#97636 - Fri Aug 25 2000 09:50 AM Re: Positive Living Tip of the Day
JoJo2 Offline
Star Poster

Registered: Fri Nov 19 1999
Posts: 17656
Loc: San Diego California USA 
The Victim
According to the American Heritage Dictionary, a victim is "someone who is harmed or killed by another" or "someone who is harmed or made to suffer from an act, circumstance, agency or condition." A victim is also "anyone who suffers as a result of ruthless design or incidentally or accidentally" (Webster's Third New International Dictionary). The victim's suffering and losses can be physical, psychological, or both. People raised in poverty, and those subjected to racial, sexual, religious, or other forms of discrimination, are often viewed as victims of social and historical forces beyond their control.

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#97637 - Mon Aug 28 2000 11:23 PM Re: Positive Living Tip of the Day
JoJo2 Offline
Star Poster

Registered: Fri Nov 19 1999
Posts: 17656
Loc: San Diego California USA 
Self-Love - Cheryl G., MS, Licensed Professional Counselor
Self-love involves humility, which is self-expression from the heart and not from the ego. Humility says, "I am open. I am willing to listen. I may not have all the answers." People who love themselves come across as very loving, generous and kind; they express their self-confidence through humility, forgiveness, and inclusiveness. If you know people who seem to be very wise and yet put others down, reject friends, make people feel poorly about themselves, no matter how lofty their words or what they teach, you can rest assured that they do not love themselves.

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#97638 - Tue Aug 29 2000 11:19 PM Re: Positive Living Tip of the Day
sandalwood Offline
Forum Champion

Registered: Sun Oct 17 1999
Posts: 5643
Loc: Camarillo California USA
Recognize Who You Are!

It is important to recognize who you are, without being too egotistical or too humble. When you pay attention to your doubts and fears and to that little voice that says, "you're not good enough," you are simply giving heed to your lower self. You do not need to pay attention to those voices within you that create pain, or make you feel less competent, smart, or able. You can simply act as if that part of you were a small child, reassure it, and move on. Do not let those voices attract too much of your attention! Learn to ignore the little voices within that would have you believe that you are not great!

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Sandalwood's Cosmic Creations: Working with the magic of love....

_________________________
If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands,you're eating it too slowly.

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#97639 - Thu Aug 31 2000 12:32 PM Re: Positive Living Tip of the Day
sandalwood Offline
Forum Champion

Registered: Sun Oct 17 1999
Posts: 5643
Loc: Camarillo California USA
Receiving Love

The more you give and receive love, the better you will feel about yourself. The more you focus on what is wrong in your life, the more you will create problems for yourself. So you must focus on what IS WORKING in your life NOW. The same with receiving love: the more you focus on how much love you are already receiving, the more you will actually have. And if you want to receive love from someone, then send out that request mentally. You may receive their love in the form of friendship, an intimate relationship, or just in a pleasant "hello." Whatever their response, you must give out your love in such a way that is not intrusive or obsessive. That person may be only willing to give back non-intimate love and you must be satisfied with what the other is willing to give (and receive).

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Sandalwood's Cosmic Creations: Working with the magic of love....

_________________________
If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands,you're eating it too slowly.

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#97640 - Fri Sep 01 2000 12:28 PM Re: Positive Living Tip of the Day
sandalwood Offline
Forum Champion

Registered: Sun Oct 17 1999
Posts: 5643
Loc: Camarillo California USA
Inner Peace

How do I obtain inner peace?

In order to achieve inner peace, you must be willing to confront and heal your fears. Your fear may be that someone will hurt or reject or leave you. You may fear that you won't make it in the world alone if your job or relationship fails. To have inner peace is having the willingness to let go of fear.

The way to do this is to have nothing to "defend," and be willing to be vulnerable. It's not putting on an act for people; it's the willingness to be who you are; and knowing you are all right. Having inner peace means letting go of self-criticism and self-doubt. Remember, everything other people say to you about you is a reflection of a voice from within themselves about how they speak to themselves. In other words, criticism from others is a reflection of who they are and how they see the world.

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Sandalwood's Cosmic Creations: Working with the magic of love....

_________________________
If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands,you're eating it too slowly.

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#97641 - Tue Sep 05 2000 11:33 PM Re: Positive Living Tip of the Day
sandalwood Offline
Forum Champion

Registered: Sun Oct 17 1999
Posts: 5643
Loc: Camarillo California USA
Positive Living Tip of the Day
Tuesday September 5, 2000

Stop Emotional Eating!

Here are examples of what else you can do besides turn to food during your times of stress:

-You have just had an argument with your partner. Instead of reaching for the potato chips, take a walk to cool off or call a sympathetic friend and talk it over.

-You join a gym and plan on working out every day but you missed one week and are thinking about chucking the whole plan. Instead of giving up your new healthy lifestyle plan altogether, realize that your initial expectations may have been too high. Decide to go to the gym a few times a week or ask a friend to join so that you both can go together.

-A date goes poorly, and you fear you'll never ever have a serious relationship. Instead of renting a tear-jerker movie and ordering a pizza and consuming a half gallon of ice cream, go home, take a long bath, and read a great "positive" book. Or call your best friend and tell her about your date and laugh a lot.

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Sandalwood's Cosmic Creations: Working with the magic of love....

_________________________
If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands,you're eating it too slowly.

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#97642 - Wed Sep 06 2000 11:25 PM Re: Positive Living Tip of the Day
sandalwood Offline
Forum Champion

Registered: Sun Oct 17 1999
Posts: 5643
Loc: Camarillo California USA
Stress Solutions
Want to cut down on stress in your life? Then get organized!

Spend your first hour of each day making a master list of what you need to do--everything from the laundry to shopping for a new pair of shoes for the baby. Include deadlines, such as the date when the plane tickets must be purchased to lock in the cheapest fare. Then get started!

Procrastination just increases dread and guilt. If the project seems too large to complete within the day, break it into manageable chunks. For example, if you have cleaning the silver on your list, decide to polish just one piece a day or to work on this project for only one hour a day. This way, you'll feel satisfied when you finish the first part of the project, and you'll be ready to tackle the next part of the project tomorrow at the same time.

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Sandalwood's Cosmic Creations: Working with the magic of love....

_________________________
If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands,you're eating it too slowly.

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#97643 - Fri Sep 08 2000 11:33 PM Re: Positive Living Tip of the Day
sandalwood Offline
Forum Champion

Registered: Sun Oct 17 1999
Posts: 5643
Loc: Camarillo California USA
Take a Deep Breath

Place one hand on your chest and the other on your stomach. Breathe normally for a few moments, noting the movement of each hand as you inhale. Which hand rises more dramatically? If it's the one on your belly, take it off and pat yourself on the back. You have an excellent respiratory technique! But if it's the hand on your chest, you'd better take a deep breath--if you can, because breathing from the chest is not the best way to breathe! Or so say leaders of a better-breathing movement that has formed in recent years. Books bearing titles like 'Conscious Breathing,' 'The Breathing Book,' and 'Breathe Better, Feel Better' are available on all self-help shelves. They claim that learning to breathe correctly can help control anxiety. Advocates of belly breathing go further and insist that many conditions such as asthma, migraines, heart disease, and depression are all the result of poor respiratory technique.

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Sandalwood's Cosmic Creations: Working with the magic of love....

_________________________
If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands,you're eating it too slowly.

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#97644 - Wed Mar 14 2001 12:59 AM Re: Positive Living Tip of the Day
JoJo2 Offline
Star Poster

Registered: Fri Nov 19 1999
Posts: 17656
Loc: San Diego California USA 
Be thankful for who you are! At some point in our lives I think we all go through a period of low self-esteem. My positive thinking tip of the day is for each of you to voice something that you truly like about yourself. Please close your eyes for just a moment and think about how wonderful you are and then share your feelings with us. As I always say, we are all unique and beautiful people in our own way. It takes all kinds of colors, shapes, and personality for a flower garden to look its' best and that is how I feel about this world. Each individual had their own beauty and purpose.

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#97645 - Tue Mar 13 2001 02:50 PM Re: Positive Living Tip of the Day
anniedt Offline
Prolific

Registered: Mon Oct 02 2000
Posts: 1716
Loc: Splashing around in the puddle...
Wanna know my best characteristic? I'm selective about which flower bed I plant my tootsies. I sprout with the best buds. hehe. Ok Ok JoJo, I'll be serious long enough to say one thing that makes me one really cool babe, I have a great sense of humor. How's that, did I do good? Ya the best Jo!

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A bird does not sing because it has an answer -- it sings because it has a song.

_________________________
Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker [i]-Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory</I]

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#97646 - Tue Mar 13 2001 03:25 PM Re: Positive Living Tip of the Day
JoJo2 Offline
Star Poster

Registered: Fri Nov 19 1999
Posts: 17656
Loc: San Diego California USA 
You did great annie!! Having a great sense of humor is wonderful! Not only are you able to bring joy to others, but having a good sense of humor can get you through many situations that others might find difficult and most likely prevents you from becoming too stressed. After all they say that laughter is the best medicine! Thanks for sharing. Hugs



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#97647 - Fri Mar 16 2001 04:38 PM Re: Positive Living Tip of the Day
JoJo2 Offline
Star Poster

Registered: Fri Nov 19 1999
Posts: 17656
Loc: San Diego California USA 
Politeness begins with you. And to be polite to you means to hold yourself in high esteem. What does this mean?

  • Acknowledging that you are valuable for who you are.
  • Not accepting disrespect from someone you respect.
  • Asserting yourself to hold true to your beliefs.
  • Not allowing someone to define your feelings for you.
  • Saying "no" when you don't feel comfortable about something.
  • Doing what you want, when you want, at the time you want.
  • Putting your health (spiritual, physical, moral, and emotional) above all else in your life.

"Politeness costs little and yields much." - Mme. De Lambert


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#97648 - Fri Mar 16 2001 05:29 PM Re: Positive Living Tip of the Day
anniedt Offline
Prolific

Registered: Mon Oct 02 2000
Posts: 1716
Loc: Splashing around in the puddle...
I'm going to print this and put it on my mirror.
How do you assert yourself though if you're not assertive?
I think on this one "Doing what you want, when you want, at the time you want," a bit of caution should be exercised here. It's not a good idea to selfishly do what you want without regard for the feelings of others.


Ability can take you to the top, but it takes character to keep you there.

_________________________
Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker [i]-Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory</I]

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#97649 - Sun Jun 17 2001 10:30 AM Re: Positive Living Tip of the Day
JoJo2 Offline
Star Poster

Registered: Fri Nov 19 1999
Posts: 17656
Loc: San Diego California USA 
* Just because some one doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

* A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart.

* Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile.

* To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world

* Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened.


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#97650 - Mon Jun 18 2001 10:16 AM Re: Positive Living Tip of the Day
anniedt Offline
Prolific

Registered: Mon Oct 02 2000
Posts: 1716
Loc: Splashing around in the puddle...
The more you give, the more you get
The more you do unselfishly
The more you live abundantly.
The more of everything you share,
The more you laugh, the less you fret.
The more you'll always have to spare.
The more you love, the more you'll find
That life is good and friends are kind.
For only what we give away,
Enriches us from day to day.
_________________________
Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker [i]-Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory</I]

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#97651 - Thu Jun 21 2001 10:36 AM Re: Positive Living Tip of the Day
anniedt Offline
Prolific

Registered: Mon Oct 02 2000
Posts: 1716
Loc: Splashing around in the puddle...
There may be days when you get up in the morning and things aren't the way you had hoped they would be.

That's when you have to tell yourself that things will get better.
There are times when people disappoint you and let you down.

But those are the times when you must remind yourself to trust your own judgments and opinions, to keep your life focused on believing in yourself.

There will be challenges to face and changes to make in your life, and it is up to you to accept them.

Constantly keep yourself headed in the right direction for you.
It may not be easy at times, but in those times of struggle you will find a stronger sense of who you are.

So when the days come that are filled with frustration and unexpected responsibilities, remember to believe in yourself and all you want your life to be.

Because the challenges and changes will only help you to find the goals that you know are meant to come true for you.

Keep Believing in Yourself

_________________________
Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker [i]-Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory</I]

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#97652 - Fri Jun 22 2001 08:58 AM Re: Positive Living Tip of the Day
anniedt Offline
Prolific

Registered: Mon Oct 02 2000
Posts: 1716
Loc: Splashing around in the puddle...
Some people come into our lives and quickly go.
Some people move our souls to dance.
They awaken us to new understanding with the passing whisper of their wisdom.
Some people make the sky more beautiful to gaze upon.
They stay in our lives for awhile, leave footprints in our hearts, and we are never, ever the same.
_________________________
Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker [i]-Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory</I]

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#97653 - Sat Jun 23 2001 11:23 PM Re: Positive Living Tip of the Day
JoJo2 Offline
Star Poster

Registered: Fri Nov 19 1999
Posts: 17656
Loc: San Diego California USA 
Beautiful sentiments, anniedt! Thank you so very much for sharing your positive tips with us.

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