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#97604 - Fri Jul 21 2000 04:58 PM Positive Living Tip of the Day
JoJo2 Offline
Star Poster

Registered: Fri Nov 19 1999
Posts: 17656
Loc: San Diego California USA 
Reasons to Live Positively
* To train your child to know right from wrong
* To be a go-getter
* To bring knowledge to your mind
* To share what you have
* To surround yourself with people who think positively--like you
* To complete what you start
* To manage your own business
* To make the effort to admit when you're wrong
* To encourage others
* To improve yourself

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#97605 - Sat Jul 22 2000 11:39 PM Re: Positive Living Tip of the Day
sandalwood Offline
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Registered: Sun Oct 17 1999
Posts: 5643
Loc: Camarillo California USA
Great reasons Jo!

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Sandalwood's Cosmic Creations: Working with the magic of love....

_________________________
If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands,you're eating it too slowly.

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#97606 - Sat Jul 22 2000 05:49 PM Re: Positive Living Tip of the Day
Anonymous
No longer registered


JoJo - This is the first time I have been in this forum and I'm so glad I came in. Thank you for posting this list, I couldn't have found it at a better time.

I just quit my job and opened my own business the first of July and things are a little slow. I'm not bring much money home and my hubby is becoming concerned about our finances, as am I. Even as we said aloud that it takes time to establish a business, deep down we sort of had unrealistic expectations about immediate success.

I've been feeling guilty because I quit my job, losing that "guaranteed" paycheck and have caused by whole family to have to cut way back on expenses. The last couple of days I've had a really negative outlook on life. However, I've been trying to reason with my self, telling me to have patience, everything will work out.

When I read this list of Reasons to Live Positively, I immediately said, "See there, Carol, this is like a sign, you need to change your attitude."

So again, THANKS!

------------------
Anyone who isn't confused really doesn't understand the situation...
Edward R. Murrow


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#97607 - Sat Jul 22 2000 07:24 PM Re: Positive Living Tip of the Day
JoJo2 Offline
Star Poster

Registered: Fri Nov 19 1999
Posts: 17656
Loc: San Diego California USA 
CarolinaCarol, I am so pleased to find that the tips were useful to you. One of the most exciting and the most frightening times in life is when one goes off on a new adventure such as starting their own business. It's real scary the very first time that you don't pick up that scheduled paycheck.

We are all here for you with lots of tips and tricks on how to be frugal, and I brought up a topic for Small Business Owners. So don't feel guilty, just get into that great entrepreneurial spirit and start you future today. I wish you the very best of luck!


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#97608 - Mon Jul 24 2000 10:51 AM Re: Positive Living Tip of the Day
sandalwood Offline
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Registered: Sun Oct 17 1999
Posts: 5643
Loc: Camarillo California USA
I do not know if this belong here..but I am going to post it anyway..Let me know Jo if it does or not okay??

Exercise And Revitalize

Feeling good about yourself and your body will help you live each day to its fullest. One of the foundations of feeling good is daily physical activity. Exercise will boost your energy level, making it easier to manage your weight and participate in the activities you enjoy. When you have energy, almost anything seems possible. The benefits of exercise are not limited to physical health;according to a recent study at Duke University, exercise was found to be as effective as antidepressants in treating depression.

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Sandalwood's Cosmic Creations: Working with the magic of love....

_________________________
If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands,you're eating it too slowly.

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#97609 - Mon Jul 24 2000 11:00 PM Re: Positive Living Tip of the Day
JoJo2 Offline
Star Poster

Registered: Fri Nov 19 1999
Posts: 17656
Loc: San Diego California USA 
Sandalwood, I think your tip is an excellant way to stay postive. Thank you for your great tip!

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#97610 - Mon Jul 31 2000 10:22 AM Re: Positive Living Tip of the Day
sandalwood Offline
Forum Champion

Registered: Sun Oct 17 1999
Posts: 5643
Loc: Camarillo California USA
Trying To Find Time For You

Time alone is important for restoration. When you take time to mentally and physically "get away," you'll find you have more energy and renewed enthusiasm for the important everyday things like family and work. Even if you just take a few minutes a day--that's a start. Work in your garden, soak in a bubble bath, or take an early morning walk--finding what you want to do is part of the fun. Relax, reflect, and rejuvenate!

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Sandalwood's Cosmic Creations: Working with the magic of love....

_________________________
If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands,you're eating it too slowly.

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#97611 - Mon Jul 31 2000 10:24 AM Re: Positive Living Tip of the Day
sandalwood Offline
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Registered: Sun Oct 17 1999
Posts: 5643
Loc: Camarillo California USA
Take Time To--

-Do what you want to do for once
-Lead, follow, or step aside
-Learn a new language
-Live until you die
-Stop and thank a co-worker for her support
-Send an Emazing Greeting Card to a family member
-Communicate instead of just winning an argument
-Control your emotions
-Play house with your five-year-old
-Think before you jump!

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Sandalwood's Cosmic Creations: Working with the magic of love....

_________________________
If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands,you're eating it too slowly.

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#97612 - Mon Jul 31 2000 11:45 PM Re: Positive Living Tip of the Day
Anonymous
No longer registered


It really is important to stop and take time for yourself.

A Pastor friend of mine once told me to try this...

Exhale, now without inhaling exhale some more, again, again, again...Eventually you'll have no air left to exhale and you have to inhale before you can go on.

Life is the same way if you keep giving and giving and giving without taking, pretty soon you'll have nothing left to give.

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Anyone who isn't confused really doesn't understand the situation...
Edward R. Murrow


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#97613 - Tue Aug 01 2000 11:40 PM Re: Positive Living Tip of the Day
sandalwood Offline
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Registered: Sun Oct 17 1999
Posts: 5643
Loc: Camarillo California USA
This is wonderful advise CarolinaC...I think we should all learn from it....

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Sandalwood's Cosmic Creations: Working with the magic of love....

_________________________
If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands,you're eating it too slowly.

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#97614 - Tue Aug 01 2000 02:07 PM Re: Positive Living Tip of the Day
sandalwood Offline
Forum Champion

Registered: Sun Oct 17 1999
Posts: 5643
Loc: Camarillo California USA
Rules for Journaling

Journaling is a great way to really learn about yourself. As far as rules are concerned, well, there are none. However, here a few ideas to help you get started:

-Write on any topic you like.
-Make lists of your dreams, goals, and wishes.
-Write poetry.
-Write about your feelings--both negative and positive.
-Write about silly things; daydream in words.
-Write about things that make you laugh and cry.
-Work out an argument with your loved ones on paper.

And remember that your journal is for YOU. Never leave it lying around.

- Cheryl G. MS, Licensed Professional Counselor

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Sandalwood's Cosmic Creations: Working with the magic of love....

_________________________
If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands,you're eating it too slowly.

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#97615 - Wed Aug 02 2000 10:14 AM Re: Positive Living Tip of the Day
sandalwood Offline
Forum Champion

Registered: Sun Oct 17 1999
Posts: 5643
Loc: Camarillo California USA
Laugh About It

When was the last time you laughed so hard your stomach hurt? Laughter brightens our days and makes life more enjoyable. It's one of the first forms of communication we learn as infants. Yet so many adults let the trials and tribulations of life get them so down that they lose the simple joy and pleasure of laughter. Besides the emotional benefits, laughter is believed to improve the immune system, lower blood pressure, and combat stress.

Take a moment and think of your favorite cartoon as a child, and the easy out-loud laughter that came when Wile E. Coyote was foiled again by the speedy and clever Road Runner. Sometimes it feels good to retrace our childhood footsteps, and revel in its simplicity again. Giggle, chuckle, smile--and laugh so hard your stomach hurts! It's good for you!

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Sandalwood's Cosmic Creations: Working with the magic of love....

_________________________
If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands,you're eating it too slowly.

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#97616 - Wed Aug 02 2000 12:39 PM Re: Positive Living Tip of the Day
JoJo2 Offline
Star Poster

Registered: Fri Nov 19 1999
Posts: 17656
Loc: San Diego California USA 
Don't worry that your talent won't be adequate to the task. Acutally feeling inadequate to the task you are asked to do seems to be a spiritual prerequisite.

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#97617 - Wed Aug 02 2000 10:10 PM Re: Positive Living Tip of the Day
sandalwood Offline
Forum Champion

Registered: Sun Oct 17 1999
Posts: 5643
Loc: Camarillo California USA
Healthy Friendship #1

What is a healthy friendship?

If you grew up in a dysfunctional family, this is a very important question to ask yourself. Adults who have grown up in very dysfunctional families often have great fear of being abandoned and rejected, frequently resulting in the need for control in all relationships. This can extend to having high and unrealistic expectations from friendships that are impossible for any friend to meet.

So what's unrealistic? It's unrealistic to expect our friends to know everything about us, and to share the same needs, interests, hopes, and dreams. It's unrealistic to expect our friends to put us first at all times, to feel what we feel, and to believe what we believe. In other words, it is unrealistic to expect our friends to be for us what our parents should have been for us. This simply isn't possible--or healthy.

More tomorrow!

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Sandalwood's Cosmic Creations: Working with the magic of love....

_________________________
If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands,you're eating it too slowly.

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#97618 - Fri Aug 04 2000 10:28 AM Re: Positive Living Tip of the Day
sandalwood Offline
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Registered: Sun Oct 17 1999
Posts: 5643
Loc: Camarillo California USA
Healthy Friendships #2


Adults who grew up in very disfunctional families often have unrealistic expectations of what a friend should be. These adults may expect their friends to fill the emotional void that was never filled by their parents.

So what's a friend?

-Friends are here to provide us with companionship so that we are not alone in the world.
-Friends are here so that we can share parts of ourselves with them, helping us validate who we are by having something in common with someone else.
-They act as mirrors, reflecting back to us who we are and how we come across to others.
-Friends meet some of our needs for touch, intellectual stimulation, recreation, emotional security, and spirituality.

We have so many needs that it is impossible to have them met by only one or two people. Tomorrow, I'll deal with this issue: I have lots of needs and only a few friends. Help!

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Sandalwood's Cosmic Creations: Working with the magic of love....

_________________________
If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands,you're eating it too slowly.

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#97619 - Mon Aug 07 2000 10:57 AM Re: Positive Living Tip of the Day
sandalwood Offline
Forum Champion

Registered: Sun Oct 17 1999
Posts: 5643
Loc: Camarillo California USA
On Friday, I defined what makes for a healthy relationship. Today I'll discuss what an emotional friendship is like.

We all have an emotional need for feeling close to and sharing our feelings and deeply personal things about ourselves (hopes, dreams, problems, sorrows, and joys) with others. It's okay to share some personal information with our friends who aren't our most intimate companions (such as our tennis partners). However, we tend to be more comfortable sharing our innermost secrets with our closest friends and our partners. Just remember, it's okay to share a few personal things, but at the same time, don't expect your closest friends to be your "dumping" ground every time you have a problem! You may burn them out!

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Sandalwood's Cosmic Creations: Working with the magic of love....

_________________________
If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands,you're eating it too slowly.

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#97620 - Wed Aug 09 2000 10:30 AM Re: Positive Living Tip of the Day
sandalwood Offline
Forum Champion

Registered: Sun Oct 17 1999
Posts: 5643
Loc: Camarillo California USA
What is the definition of a functional family?

A functional family is one that functions to meet the needs of its family members. That is, each person in the family has his/her basic needs met. Each member feels safe, has food to eat, receives proper medical care, educational opportunities, etc. Each family member in a functional family also feels nurtured and has a sense that s/he "belongs." Each member feels worthy and valued and is treated with dignity. Each member is also allowed to have his or her own individual personality and feelings; gets to make mistakes without being shamed; gets to act silly and have fun; and has his or her own way of practicing his/her individual spirituality.


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Sandalwood's Cosmic Creations: Working with the magic of love....

_________________________
If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands,you're eating it too slowly.

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#97621 - Thu Aug 10 2000 11:24 PM Re: Positive Living Tip of the Day
sandalwood Offline
Forum Champion

Registered: Sun Oct 17 1999
Posts: 5643
Loc: Camarillo California USA
Pity

To feel pity for your caregivers probably means you have been abused by them in some fashion and have not come to terms with forgiving them. We learn to pity parents who:
-Are pitiful
-Won't take care of themselves
-Drag us into their sadness
-Pretend to be helpless
-Manipulate us into taking care of them
-Abuse or neglect themselves or each other
-Have no friends
-Wallow in their emotions
-Embarrass themselves and us in public
-Make us their pals

To pity a caregiver does nothing positive for them or you. Tomorrow I'll discuss the act of "empathy," with reference to our caregivers.

------------------
Sandalwood's Cosmic Creations: Working with the magic of love....

_________________________
If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands,you're eating it too slowly.

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#97622 - Thu Aug 10 2000 04:03 PM Re: Positive Living Tip of the Day
sandalwood Offline
Forum Champion

Registered: Sun Oct 17 1999
Posts: 5643
Loc: Camarillo California USA
As discussed yesterday, to "pity" your caregivers means they have abused you in some way. You must remember our parents' job was for them to handle their own problems and pain. We are their children. It is not our job to take care of or carry our parents' sadness and pain for them. For them to allow this to happen is a form of emotional abuse to you. However, it is okay to learn to show "empathy."

Empathy is saying, "I can relate to your pain, but I will not get personally involved with your pain." You can care without getting lost in it. You can ask what you can do to help; however, you remain the judge of whether or not to accept or decline their suggestions.

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Sandalwood's Cosmic Creations: Working with the magic of love....

_________________________
If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands,you're eating it too slowly.

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#97623 - Fri Aug 11 2000 01:09 PM Re: Positive Living Tip of the Day
Anonymous
No longer registered


Sandlewood...This is great stuff. Thank-you!

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Anyone who isn't confused really doesn't understand the situation...
Edward R. Murrow


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#97624 - Fri Aug 11 2000 09:02 PM Re: Positive Living Tip of the Day
sandalwood Offline
Forum Champion

Registered: Sun Oct 17 1999
Posts: 5643
Loc: Camarillo California USA
Most welcome Carolina!! And here is more!!

Acceptance
How do I just learn to accept me?

What a beautiful thought -- to just "accept" you without condition! Sometimes we are too busy rushing around that we do not take the time simply to accept who we are and what we have. It is something of a paradox we create for ourselves. Our lives do have meaning, just as they are. It is our own illusions that rob us of that meaning. We have somehow forgotten to claim our "reality" that is our strength and reason for living. In other words, you must stay in the "here and now" if you are to learn to accept yourself today and tomorrow. You have only this moment to make the best of your life. Your life is what it is, unless you decide to change it, but right now just live it.


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Sandalwood's Cosmic Creations: Working with the magic of love....

_________________________
If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands,you're eating it too slowly.

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#97625 - Fri Aug 11 2000 09:15 PM Re: Positive Living Tip of the Day
JoJo2 Offline
Star Poster

Registered: Fri Nov 19 1999
Posts: 17656
Loc: San Diego California USA 
That is a beautiful thought Sandalwood and I will try to remember those wise words. Thank you my dear sweet friend.

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#97626 - Sun Aug 13 2000 11:11 PM Re: Positive Living Tip of the Day
sandalwood Offline
Forum Champion

Registered: Sun Oct 17 1999
Posts: 5643
Loc: Camarillo California USA
You have a dream

Ever since the time when you didn't know any better than to believe it, you have had a dream. Your idea of what your life should be. You've always known what you really want to do. You've always known your special place in life, your own unique contribution.

On some level you have always known. Perhaps you've never confronted it face to face. Or perhaps you have. Your dream makes itself known in everything you do -- in the things you like, the things you don't like, the people you enjoy, the places you like to visit. Your dream gives lots of hints, every day. It's too bad that you've learned so well how to ignore them.

Listen to your dream. Follow your dream. No, don't quit your job. No, don't leave your wife/husband. Those things are not standing in your way -- YOU are standing in your way. Blaming it on others will only delay you that much longer.

Do what you are here to do. Fulfill the possibility that is your life.

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Sandalwood's Cosmic Creations: Working with the magic of love....

_________________________
If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands,you're eating it too slowly.

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#97627 - Mon Aug 14 2000 02:22 PM Re: Positive Living Tip of the Day
sandalwood Offline
Forum Champion

Registered: Sun Oct 17 1999
Posts: 5643
Loc: Camarillo California USA
Self-Respect

The requirements for feeling good about the self may vary from person to person. Self-respect at the highest levels comes from honoring yourself. This means speaking and acting from a level of integrity and honesty that reflects your higher self. It means standing by what you believe in and acting in a way that reflects your values. Many of you criticize others for not living up to your set of values, which you think are the right ones. Many of you may have one set of values you say you believe in, but you act from another set of values. Doing so can lead to a lot of internal conflict. For example, you may believe in monogamy deep inside your being, and yet you accept your partner having an open relationship with others. You go along only to hold on to this partner. You believe in one set of values, but you are living another.

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Sandalwood's Cosmic Creations: Working with the magic of love....

_________________________
If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands,you're eating it too slowly.

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#97628 - Tue Aug 15 2000 02:52 PM Re: Positive Living Tip of the Day
sandalwood Offline
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Registered: Sun Oct 17 1999
Posts: 5643
Loc: Camarillo California USA
Optimism

It may seem to be a natural mindset--either you are optimistic or you're not. While some people seem naturally positive, everyone is, in fact,capable of consciously developing a more optimistic approach to life.

So the next time a problem or disappointment comes your way, make a point of looking at the situation's plus side. You can almost always find a positive to counteract the negative. For example,a missed bus gives you time to read the whole newspaper instead of just the front page. A loved one's illness may provide a much-needed reminder of what is really important in life. And if you need help finding a cloud's silver lining,consult someone outside the situation: a little distance brings a lot of clarity.

_________________________
If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands,you're eating it too slowly.

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#97629 - Wed Aug 16 2000 11:40 PM Re: Positive Living Tip of the Day
sandalwood Offline
Forum Champion

Registered: Sun Oct 17 1999
Posts: 5643
Loc: Camarillo California USA
Testing My 'Value System'

How do I test out my own "value system"?

The way to test out your own value system on different issues is to try it out! For example, if you "think" you value putting your relationship before your career, you should test yourself by actually acting out in a way that "reflects" this value. This means you actually get home in time to help your partner make dinner, keep work at the office (and don't work on weekends, evenings), etc.

By testing your values, you may discover something about yourself. And remember: Sometimes, what we think of as values actually are "shoulds" given to us by others; and when we try to live them out, they often don't work in our real life. It is important to ask yourself what you value, then either live by your value system or change your value system to reflect what you truly believe.

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Sandalwood's Cosmic Creations: Working with the magic of love....

_________________________
If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands,you're eating it too slowly.

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#97630 - Thu Aug 17 2000 03:51 PM Re: Positive Living Tip of the Day
sandalwood Offline
Forum Champion

Registered: Sun Oct 17 1999
Posts: 5643
Loc: Camarillo California USA
Gratitude

Most of us were probably taught by our caregivers to say "thank you" and to be polite. We actually have a holiday called Thanksgiving to give thanks for all the wonderful things in our lives. So how does gratitude fit into a positive life?

Have you ever noticed how much you like to be with people who thank you for things you do, and who appreciate and acknowledge you? For these special people, you find yourself actually wanting to give them more and more of yourself. This is the essence behind gratitude: whenever you "give" thanks, you increase the positive energy that surrounds you at that very moment. The gratitude comes from opening your heart, the doorway to your soul. If you need an energy boost, remember there's more than one way to express thanks--mental, verbal, and written.

------------------
Sandalwood's Cosmic Creations: Working with the magic of love....

_________________________
If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands,you're eating it too slowly.

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#97631 - Fri Aug 18 2000 11:14 PM Re: Positive Living Tip of the Day
sandalwood Offline
Forum Champion

Registered: Sun Oct 17 1999
Posts: 5643
Loc: Camarillo California USA
Stand By YOU

Why am I allowing some people to get to me?

Blaming others will always take away your "power." If you can discover why you are choosing to feel hurt, sad, or angry by someone else's actions or words, then you will learn so much about yourself.

We often allow others to convince us that we are wrong when we stand up for our beliefs, of that if we do, we'll lose that person's love. But remember that you will never be able to please everyone, and if you continue to try to please everyone, then you are losing out in feeling and expressing your own feelings. Strength is developed in the face of opposition. Do not allow another person to have authority over your feelings. Remember: Self-Respect means standing by your deepest truths and knowing your innermost feelings.

------------------
Sandalwood's Cosmic Creations: Working with the magic of love....

_________________________
If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands,you're eating it too slowly.

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#97632 - Mon Aug 21 2000 09:27 AM Re: Positive Living Tip of the Day
JoJo2 Offline
Star Poster

Registered: Fri Nov 19 1999
Posts: 17656
Loc: San Diego California USA 
What Is Self-Worth? - Cheryl G., MS, Licensed Professional Counselor
Self-worth means paying attention to how you feel. You do not need reasons why you do things nor do you have to prove anything to another person about your worth. Instead of questioning yourself and your feelings, you must "validate" them by telling yourself these are your real feelings and no one can change how your feel about something. Too often we allow others to become authorities over us. For example, if someone tells us it is all our fault, we believe them. You don't have to ignore the other person, just make sure that you honor what you feel about the issue. This is part of feeding/building your self-esteem and self-worth you must have respect for your own feelings, words, actions, and behavior.

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#97633 - Wed Aug 23 2000 08:58 AM Re: Positive Living Tip of the Day
JoJo2 Offline
Star Poster

Registered: Fri Nov 19 1999
Posts: 17656
Loc: San Diego California USA 
Stop and Think!
Most of us tend to think in the moment, day, or within the week of where we are now. However, to achieve clarity about an issue, we must be willing to see the larger picture. This involves taking a look at an issue over a longer time frame and keeping the bigger perspective in mind when we make decisions.

Why?

The larger your view, the clearer you can be about the issues that you are dealing with now. You must be able to look at your issues from the perspective of your entire life span. For example, you get an uncomfortable feeling one day as you are sitting with your co-workers at happy hour, watching them slam down shots of tequila. Instead of taking your time to stop and think of the "entire" reason you're uncomfortable, you automatically tag your friends as irresponsible and reckless individuals. If you take a longer view, you would realize that you are uncomfortable because as a child your parents would take you to the bars and make you sit and wait for them as they drank shots of tequila. If you are willing to look at yourself as a whole, you can give yourself an opportunity to see with clarity why you feel the way you do.


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#97634 - Thu Aug 24 2000 10:37 AM Re: Positive Living Tip of the Day
sandalwood Offline
Forum Champion

Registered: Sun Oct 17 1999
Posts: 5643
Loc: Camarillo California USA
R-E-S-P-E-C-T

How come people don't treat me with respect?

The reason people do not treat you with respect is probably because you don't treat yourself with respect! Remember: How you treat yourself is how others will treat you. For example, if you sit around at work gossiping about your co-workers' problems, chances are you will attract other gossips, who will in turn gossip about you.

You don't have to be around people who disrespect you. But no matter how good you feel about yourself, there will always be those who do not treat you--or others--with respect. Therefore, if you do find yourself around disrespectful people, act with dignity and remember that they are not respecting you because they do not respect themselves. And don't get angry, as this only creates a power struggle. Keep your outlook positive, respect others, and act with dignity!

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Sandalwood's Cosmic Creations: Working with the magic of love....

_________________________
If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands,you're eating it too slowly.

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#97635 - Thu Aug 24 2000 10:37 AM Re: Positive Living Tip of the Day
sandalwood Offline
Forum Champion

Registered: Sun Oct 17 1999
Posts: 5643
Loc: Camarillo California USA
Triggers

If you've ever endured a traumatic situation, you may re-experience the feelings from the original trauma if something in your environment acts as a trigger. Why? The human brain remembers everything; its memory cells store information about every event that has occurred to its person, especially unusual events such as traumas. For example, anniversary dates, people, places, objects, and even emotional situations that remind the survivor of an original trauma can serve as triggers. Combat veterans, for example, may experience increased anxiety in certain months if these same months were ones during which they engaged in heavy combat; these are called anniversary reactions.

The brain does not know the difference between a real threat and one stored in the mind. So when your brain is set off by a trigger, you may feel as angry, threatened or confused as you did during the original event. If you have suffered from a traumatic experience in which you still get "triggered," seek support from a professional counselor.

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Sandalwood's Cosmic Creations: Working with the magic of love....

_________________________
If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands,you're eating it too slowly.

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#97636 - Fri Aug 25 2000 09:50 AM Re: Positive Living Tip of the Day
JoJo2 Offline
Star Poster

Registered: Fri Nov 19 1999
Posts: 17656
Loc: San Diego California USA 
The Victim
According to the American Heritage Dictionary, a victim is "someone who is harmed or killed by another" or "someone who is harmed or made to suffer from an act, circumstance, agency or condition." A victim is also "anyone who suffers as a result of ruthless design or incidentally or accidentally" (Webster's Third New International Dictionary). The victim's suffering and losses can be physical, psychological, or both. People raised in poverty, and those subjected to racial, sexual, religious, or other forms of discrimination, are often viewed as victims of social and historical forces beyond their control.

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#97637 - Mon Aug 28 2000 11:23 PM Re: Positive Living Tip of the Day
JoJo2 Offline
Star Poster

Registered: Fri Nov 19 1999
Posts: 17656
Loc: San Diego California USA 
Self-Love - Cheryl G., MS, Licensed Professional Counselor
Self-love involves humility, which is self-expression from the heart and not from the ego. Humility says, "I am open. I am willing to listen. I may not have all the answers." People who love themselves come across as very loving, generous and kind; they express their self-confidence through humility, forgiveness, and inclusiveness. If you know people who seem to be very wise and yet put others down, reject friends, make people feel poorly about themselves, no matter how lofty their words or what they teach, you can rest assured that they do not love themselves.

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#97638 - Tue Aug 29 2000 11:19 PM Re: Positive Living Tip of the Day
sandalwood Offline
Forum Champion

Registered: Sun Oct 17 1999
Posts: 5643
Loc: Camarillo California USA
Recognize Who You Are!

It is important to recognize who you are, without being too egotistical or too humble. When you pay attention to your doubts and fears and to that little voice that says, "you're not good enough," you are simply giving heed to your lower self. You do not need to pay attention to those voices within you that create pain, or make you feel less competent, smart, or able. You can simply act as if that part of you were a small child, reassure it, and move on. Do not let those voices attract too much of your attention! Learn to ignore the little voices within that would have you believe that you are not great!

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Sandalwood's Cosmic Creations: Working with the magic of love....

_________________________
If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands,you're eating it too slowly.

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#97639 - Thu Aug 31 2000 12:32 PM Re: Positive Living Tip of the Day
sandalwood Offline
Forum Champion

Registered: Sun Oct 17 1999
Posts: 5643
Loc: Camarillo California USA
Receiving Love

The more you give and receive love, the better you will feel about yourself. The more you focus on what is wrong in your life, the more you will create problems for yourself. So you must focus on what IS WORKING in your life NOW. The same with receiving love: the more you focus on how much love you are already receiving, the more you will actually have. And if you want to receive love from someone, then send out that request mentally. You may receive their love in the form of friendship, an intimate relationship, or just in a pleasant "hello." Whatever their response, you must give out your love in such a way that is not intrusive or obsessive. That person may be only willing to give back non-intimate love and you must be satisfied with what the other is willing to give (and receive).

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Sandalwood's Cosmic Creations: Working with the magic of love....

_________________________
If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands,you're eating it too slowly.

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#97640 - Fri Sep 01 2000 12:28 PM Re: Positive Living Tip of the Day
sandalwood Offline
Forum Champion

Registered: Sun Oct 17 1999
Posts: 5643
Loc: Camarillo California USA
Inner Peace

How do I obtain inner peace?

In order to achieve inner peace, you must be willing to confront and heal your fears. Your fear may be that someone will hurt or reject or leave you. You may fear that you won't make it in the world alone if your job or relationship fails. To have inner peace is having the willingness to let go of fear.

The way to do this is to have nothing to "defend," and be willing to be vulnerable. It's not putting on an act for people; it's the willingness to be who you are; and knowing you are all right. Having inner peace means letting go of self-criticism and self-doubt. Remember, everything other people say to you about you is a reflection of a voice from within themselves about how they speak to themselves. In other words, criticism from others is a reflection of who they are and how they see the world.

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Sandalwood's Cosmic Creations: Working with the magic of love....

_________________________
If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands,you're eating it too slowly.

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#97641 - Tue Sep 05 2000 11:33 PM Re: Positive Living Tip of the Day
sandalwood Offline
Forum Champion

Registered: Sun Oct 17 1999
Posts: 5643
Loc: Camarillo California USA
Positive Living Tip of the Day
Tuesday September 5, 2000

Stop Emotional Eating!

Here are examples of what else you can do besides turn to food during your times of stress:

-You have just had an argument with your partner. Instead of reaching for the potato chips, take a walk to cool off or call a sympathetic friend and talk it over.

-You join a gym and plan on working out every day but you missed one week and are thinking about chucking the whole plan. Instead of giving up your new healthy lifestyle plan altogether, realize that your initial expectations may have been too high. Decide to go to the gym a few times a week or ask a friend to join so that you both can go together.

-A date goes poorly, and you fear you'll never ever have a serious relationship. Instead of renting a tear-jerker movie and ordering a pizza and consuming a half gallon of ice cream, go home, take a long bath, and read a great "positive" book. Or call your best friend and tell her about your date and laugh a lot.

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Sandalwood's Cosmic Creations: Working with the magic of love....

_________________________
If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands,you're eating it too slowly.

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#97642 - Wed Sep 06 2000 11:25 PM Re: Positive Living Tip of the Day
sandalwood Offline
Forum Champion

Registered: Sun Oct 17 1999
Posts: 5643
Loc: Camarillo California USA
Stress Solutions
Want to cut down on stress in your life? Then get organized!

Spend your first hour of each day making a master list of what you need to do--everything from the laundry to shopping for a new pair of shoes for the baby. Include deadlines, such as the date when the plane tickets must be purchased to lock in the cheapest fare. Then get started!

Procrastination just increases dread and guilt. If the project seems too large to complete within the day, break it into manageable chunks. For example, if you have cleaning the silver on your list, decide to polish just one piece a day or to work on this project for only one hour a day. This way, you'll feel satisfied when you finish the first part of the project, and you'll be ready to tackle the next part of the project tomorrow at the same time.

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Sandalwood's Cosmic Creations: Working with the magic of love....

_________________________
If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands,you're eating it too slowly.

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#97643 - Fri Sep 08 2000 11:33 PM Re: Positive Living Tip of the Day
sandalwood Offline
Forum Champion

Registered: Sun Oct 17 1999
Posts: 5643
Loc: Camarillo California USA
Take a Deep Breath

Place one hand on your chest and the other on your stomach. Breathe normally for a few moments, noting the movement of each hand as you inhale. Which hand rises more dramatically? If it's the one on your belly, take it off and pat yourself on the back. You have an excellent respiratory technique! But if it's the hand on your chest, you'd better take a deep breath--if you can, because breathing from the chest is not the best way to breathe! Or so say leaders of a better-breathing movement that has formed in recent years. Books bearing titles like 'Conscious Breathing,' 'The Breathing Book,' and 'Breathe Better, Feel Better' are available on all self-help shelves. They claim that learning to breathe correctly can help control anxiety. Advocates of belly breathing go further and insist that many conditions such as asthma, migraines, heart disease, and depression are all the result of poor respiratory technique.

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Sandalwood's Cosmic Creations: Working with the magic of love....

_________________________
If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands,you're eating it too slowly.

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#97644 - Wed Mar 14 2001 12:59 AM Re: Positive Living Tip of the Day
JoJo2 Offline
Star Poster

Registered: Fri Nov 19 1999
Posts: 17656
Loc: San Diego California USA 
Be thankful for who you are! At some point in our lives I think we all go through a period of low self-esteem. My positive thinking tip of the day is for each of you to voice something that you truly like about yourself. Please close your eyes for just a moment and think about how wonderful you are and then share your feelings with us. As I always say, we are all unique and beautiful people in our own way. It takes all kinds of colors, shapes, and personality for a flower garden to look its' best and that is how I feel about this world. Each individual had their own beauty and purpose.

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#97645 - Tue Mar 13 2001 02:50 PM Re: Positive Living Tip of the Day
anniedt Offline
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Registered: Mon Oct 02 2000
Posts: 1716
Loc: Splashing around in the puddle...
Wanna know my best characteristic? I'm selective about which flower bed I plant my tootsies. I sprout with the best buds. hehe. Ok Ok JoJo, I'll be serious long enough to say one thing that makes me one really cool babe, I have a great sense of humor. How's that, did I do good? Ya the best Jo!

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A bird does not sing because it has an answer -- it sings because it has a song.

_________________________
Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker [i]-Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory</I]

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#97646 - Tue Mar 13 2001 03:25 PM Re: Positive Living Tip of the Day
JoJo2 Offline
Star Poster

Registered: Fri Nov 19 1999
Posts: 17656
Loc: San Diego California USA 
You did great annie!! Having a great sense of humor is wonderful! Not only are you able to bring joy to others, but having a good sense of humor can get you through many situations that others might find difficult and most likely prevents you from becoming too stressed. After all they say that laughter is the best medicine! Thanks for sharing. Hugs



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#97647 - Fri Mar 16 2001 04:38 PM Re: Positive Living Tip of the Day
JoJo2 Offline
Star Poster

Registered: Fri Nov 19 1999
Posts: 17656
Loc: San Diego California USA 
Politeness begins with you. And to be polite to you means to hold yourself in high esteem. What does this mean?

  • Acknowledging that you are valuable for who you are.
  • Not accepting disrespect from someone you respect.
  • Asserting yourself to hold true to your beliefs.
  • Not allowing someone to define your feelings for you.
  • Saying "no" when you don't feel comfortable about something.
  • Doing what you want, when you want, at the time you want.
  • Putting your health (spiritual, physical, moral, and emotional) above all else in your life.

"Politeness costs little and yields much." - Mme. De Lambert


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#97648 - Fri Mar 16 2001 05:29 PM Re: Positive Living Tip of the Day
anniedt Offline
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Registered: Mon Oct 02 2000
Posts: 1716
Loc: Splashing around in the puddle...
I'm going to print this and put it on my mirror.
How do you assert yourself though if you're not assertive?
I think on this one "Doing what you want, when you want, at the time you want," a bit of caution should be exercised here. It's not a good idea to selfishly do what you want without regard for the feelings of others.


Ability can take you to the top, but it takes character to keep you there.

_________________________
Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker [i]-Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory</I]

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#97649 - Sun Jun 17 2001 10:30 AM Re: Positive Living Tip of the Day
JoJo2 Offline
Star Poster

Registered: Fri Nov 19 1999
Posts: 17656
Loc: San Diego California USA 
* Just because some one doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

* A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart.

* Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile.

* To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world

* Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened.


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#97650 - Mon Jun 18 2001 10:16 AM Re: Positive Living Tip of the Day
anniedt Offline
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Registered: Mon Oct 02 2000
Posts: 1716
Loc: Splashing around in the puddle...
The more you give, the more you get
The more you do unselfishly
The more you live abundantly.
The more of everything you share,
The more you laugh, the less you fret.
The more you'll always have to spare.
The more you love, the more you'll find
That life is good and friends are kind.
For only what we give away,
Enriches us from day to day.
_________________________
Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker [i]-Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory</I]

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#97651 - Thu Jun 21 2001 10:36 AM Re: Positive Living Tip of the Day
anniedt Offline
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Registered: Mon Oct 02 2000
Posts: 1716
Loc: Splashing around in the puddle...
There may be days when you get up in the morning and things aren't the way you had hoped they would be.

That's when you have to tell yourself that things will get better.
There are times when people disappoint you and let you down.

But those are the times when you must remind yourself to trust your own judgments and opinions, to keep your life focused on believing in yourself.

There will be challenges to face and changes to make in your life, and it is up to you to accept them.

Constantly keep yourself headed in the right direction for you.
It may not be easy at times, but in those times of struggle you will find a stronger sense of who you are.

So when the days come that are filled with frustration and unexpected responsibilities, remember to believe in yourself and all you want your life to be.

Because the challenges and changes will only help you to find the goals that you know are meant to come true for you.

Keep Believing in Yourself

_________________________
Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker [i]-Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory</I]

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#97652 - Fri Jun 22 2001 08:58 AM Re: Positive Living Tip of the Day
anniedt Offline
Prolific

Registered: Mon Oct 02 2000
Posts: 1716
Loc: Splashing around in the puddle...
Some people come into our lives and quickly go.
Some people move our souls to dance.
They awaken us to new understanding with the passing whisper of their wisdom.
Some people make the sky more beautiful to gaze upon.
They stay in our lives for awhile, leave footprints in our hearts, and we are never, ever the same.
_________________________
Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker [i]-Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory</I]

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#97653 - Sat Jun 23 2001 11:23 PM Re: Positive Living Tip of the Day
JoJo2 Offline
Star Poster

Registered: Fri Nov 19 1999
Posts: 17656
Loc: San Diego California USA 
Beautiful sentiments, anniedt! Thank you so very much for sharing your positive tips with us.

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#97654 - Thu Jun 28 2001 08:53 AM Re: Positive Living Tip of the Day
anniedt Offline
Prolific

Registered: Mon Oct 02 2000
Posts: 1716
Loc: Splashing around in the puddle...
We Could Learn A Lot From Crayons.
Some are sharp, some are pretty, some are dull,
some have weird names, and all are different colors...
but they all have to learn to live in the same box

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A truly happy person is one who can ejoy the scenery on a detour

_________________________
Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker [i]-Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory</I]

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#97655 - Tue Jul 03 2001 10:33 AM Re: Positive Living Tip of the Day
anniedt Offline
Prolific

Registered: Mon Oct 02 2000
Posts: 1716
Loc: Splashing around in the puddle...
June 27,2001
Some time ago, a friend of mine punished his 3-year-old daughter for wasting a roll of gold wrapping paper.

Money was tight and he became infuriated when the small child tried to decorate a box to put under the tree.

Nevertheless the little girl brought the gift to her father the next morning and said "This is for you Daddy."

He was embarrassed by his earlier over reaction. But his anger flared again when he found that the box was empty. Then he yelled at her, "Don't you know that when you give someone a present there's supposed to be something inside of it?"

The little girl looked up at him with tears in her eyes and said, "Oh Daddy it's not empty. I blew kisses into the box. All for you Daddy." The father was crushed. He put his arms around his little girl and he begged her forgiveness.

My friend told me that he kept that gold box near his bed for years. Whenever he was discouraged he would take out an imaginary kiss and remember the love of the child who had put it there. In a very real sense each of us has been given a gold container filled with unconditional love and kisses. There is no more precious possession anyone could hold.

_________________________
Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker [i]-Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory</I]

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#97656 - Tue Jul 03 2001 10:46 AM Re: Positive Living Tip of the Day
JoJo2 Offline
Star Poster

Registered: Fri Nov 19 1999
Posts: 17656
Loc: San Diego California USA 
Oh anniedt, I have tears rolling down my face. That was a beautiful story. Thank you for reminding us of how precious love is and how we shouldn't be so quick to judge others and the meaning behing one's actions. May we all learn to take the time to love and be loved.

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#97657 - Thu Jul 05 2001 06:55 PM Re: Positive Living Tip of the Day
gillyharold Offline
Forum Champion

Registered: Thu Sep 30 1999
Posts: 5873
Loc: Michigan USA
You And Yourself:

It is rewarding to find someone whom you like, but it is essential to like yourself.

It is quickening to recognize someone as a good and decent human being, but it is indispensable to view yourself as acceptable.

It is a delight to discover people who are worthy of respect, admiration, and love, but it is vital to believe yourself deserving of these things.

For you cannot live in someone else. You cannot find yourself in someone else. You cannot be given a life by someone else. Of all the people you will know in a lifetime, you are the only one you will never leave nor lose.

To the question of your life, you are the only answer. To the problems of your life, you are the only solution.


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