Rules: Read Me!
Admin: sue943
Legal / Conditions of Use

Topic Options
#988297 - Fri Jun 14 2013 01:46 AM An engineer with a Science degree
gtho4 Offline

Administrator

Registered: Sun Dec 26 1999
Posts: 40916
Loc: Sydney oz downunder           
received by email this afternoon:

_____________________________________________________

Understanding Engineers -
To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
___________________________________________________

Understanding Engineers -
A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with those guys? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!" The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept golf!" The priest said, "Here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with him." He said, "Hello, George! what's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"

The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind fire fighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime." The group fell silent for a moment. The priest said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight." The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there's anything he can do for them." The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?"
_____________________________________________________

Understanding Engineers -
What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?
Mechanical engineers build weapons and civil engineers build targets.
_____________________________________________________

Understanding Engineers -
The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with a fine arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"
_______________________________________________________

Understanding Engineers -
Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.
________________________________________________________

Understanding Engineers -
An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week." The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a Princess, I'll stay with you for one week and do ANYTHING you want."

Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess and that I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me? The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's neat.
_____________________________________________________

Top
#988306 - Fri Jun 14 2013 02:03 AM Re: An engineer with a Science degree [Re: gtho4]
zippolover Offline
Forum Champion

Registered: Fri Nov 16 2012
Posts: 5717
Loc: Norfolk UK
Four engineers were in the car on the way to a conference when it broke down. The driver, a chemical engineer said, "We ought to be able to fix this between us, I think that we must have run out of fuel."

The second said, "I am an electrical engineer and think there must be a short."

The third said, "I am an mechanical engineer and think that I heard a grinding coming from the gear box, so it must have seized up."

The fourth guy said nothing so the others asked for his opinion.

"I think we should all get out of the car and then get back in and try to start the car again."

One guess as to his engineering bias.
_________________________
I changed my mind again...

Top
#1000774 - Mon Aug 05 2013 11:23 PM Re: An engineer with a Science degree [Re: gtho4]
Jakeroo Offline
Prolific

Registered: Sat Aug 30 2008
Posts: 1930
Loc: Alberta Canada
How many electrical engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They simply redefine darkness as the industry standard.

How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years
_________________________
I cannot even imagine where I would be today were it not for that handful of friends who have given me a heart full of joy. Let's face it, friends make life a lot more fun.
Charles R. Swindoll



Top

Moderator:  ozzz2002, Sypher