Online Friendships

Posted by: agony

Online Friendships - Mon Jan 20 2014 09:52 PM

Lost a friend today - someone I never met in person but whom I've spent the last five years arguing with, joking with, playing with online died of a quick moving cancer.

People say "Oh, get off that computer, interact with some real people" but the people I know online are as real as the people next door. These relationships are as meaningful, the communities are as supportive, as any I experience in "real" life.

I'm feeling too sad right now to say everything I'm feeling, but just wanted to reach out to this, one of my internet communities, to say to you all how much you mean to me.
Posted by: dg_dave

Re: Online Friendships - Mon Jan 20 2014 11:16 PM

Sorry for your loss, agony, and yes, some people you meet online are just as close as ones in person.
Posted by: spanishliz

Re: Online Friendships - Mon Jan 20 2014 11:38 PM

So sorry for your loss, agony. Sending virtual hugs.
Posted by: MiraJane

Re: Online Friendships - Tue Jan 21 2014 12:27 AM

I'm so sorry, agony.

In the years before the internet, there was thing called pen pals, making friends writing to someone you don't know, many miles away. Marriages sometimes happened because of them. That's how I see knowing someone online, same thing, only faster.

So, yes, online friendships are just as deep and meaningful as the friendships we form with neighbors, at school, or at work.
Posted by: JaneMarple

Re: Online Friendships - Tue Jan 21 2014 01:34 AM

My sympathies, Agony.
On-line friendships mean the world to me. For starters, if they did not, I wouldn't have hung around the forums for almost ten years smile I don't have all that many friends where I live - as in schoolfriends, I have an abundance of relations smile - so the internet opens up a whole new line of communication. My on-line friends are as much as part of my life as my relations xxx
Posted by: sue943

Re: Online Friendships - Tue Jan 21 2014 03:32 AM

I am so sorry agony. Often we spend more time with our online friends than those offline so their losss leaves a huge hole.
Posted by: Santana2002

Re: Online Friendships - Tue Jan 21 2014 06:02 AM

*hugs* Sorry you have lost a dear friend, Agony!
Like the others, I agree that we spend a lot of time exchanging with online friends, who are people first and foremost, people who come to mean a lot to us. It's normal to feel sad and lost when they are gone.
Posted by: TabbyTom

Re: Online Friendships - Tue Jan 21 2014 08:27 AM

Very sorry to hear this news, agony. I certainly agree that we can and do feel just as strongly for people we meet online as for those we meet face to face, and I hope the sympathy of your friends on this site will give you some comfort.
Posted by: Emma058

Re: Online Friendships - Tue Jan 21 2014 09:16 AM

Sorry for your loss. I agree wholeheartedly with you. The people that I have met online especially my teammates are real. If anyone of them died, I would feel the loss.
I understand your pain.
Posted by: mehaul

Re: Online Friendships - Tue Jan 21 2014 10:55 AM

Posted by: alexis722

Re: Online Friendships - Tue Jan 21 2014 01:50 PM

Alas, so true, some of my online friends are more real to me than people I know but don't see much of anymore. (((agony))), bear up, agony, we all end up the same.
Posted by: satguru

Re: Online Friendships - Tue Jan 21 2014 02:41 PM

Very sorry Agony, and yes, people are equal wherever we meet them and however we interact. I've been meeting people from the internet after getting to know them here first and none were any different from how they seemed online and had they not lived miles away would certainly have seen most of them regularly otherwise. And people tend to find sites of like minded people so far likelier to find the sort of people they get on with by direction than the more random people we meet otherwise.
Posted by: veronicavee

Re: Online Friendships - Tue Jan 21 2014 04:31 PM

Sorry for your loss agony. A friend is a friend no matter where you meet them.x
Posted by: agony

Re: Online Friendships - Tue Jan 21 2014 07:29 PM

Thanks everybody. Just more proof of how warm and supportive an online community can be!

I think satguru made a good point - in a community like this, we can find like minded people, which is not always so easy to do in "real" life. Especially for those of us who live in small towns or isolated areas, the net really is part of our social lives.
Posted by: Barbarini

Re: Online Friendships - Tue Jan 21 2014 09:51 PM

Agony, I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your dear friend. I completely understand what you're saying. I've met so many people here that mean such a lot to me. Last summer I was fortunate enough meet some of my teammates in the UK. That was the icing on the cake but if I'd never met them in person, I'd be just as fond of them. They're utterly dear to me.

I'm sure you've made some wonderful memories to reflect upon. My thoughts are with you. xx
Posted by: Christinap

Re: Online Friendships - Wed Jan 22 2014 05:17 PM

I'm sorry about the loss of your friend Agony. I believe that friends we make online are as dear and near to us as those we have offline. I have met some of my team-mates, who are just fabulous ladies. I have met friends I have made on other sites when they have visited the UK. They, and others I meet on line who I have yet to meet in real life, indeed may never meet in real life, mean so much to me, and if something happens to them I am as concerned as I would be if they lived next door. Possibly more so as I can't pop round and make them a cup of tea or something. If one of them were to die I would feel their loss deeply and would grieve for them just as much as I would someone I saw in the flesh on a regular basis.
Posted by: ren33

Re: Online Friendships - Wed Jan 22 2014 09:00 PM

I am joining the others in sharing your sorrow, Agony.
I would certainly agree that online friends are as important as any others to me and in some cases more so.There have been times when I have been very glad they were there. The real life meetings have never disappointed, in fact brought much joy. I have much for which to thank Terry and his wonderful website.
Posted by: MadameGuvnor

Re: Online Friendships - Sat Feb 08 2014 04:58 PM

Sorry to hear this, Agony.

Agreed that online friends are just as valid as offline ones. As MiraJane said, they are the modern equivalent of penfriends.

I have social phobia and don't get out so my online friendships mean a lot to me.

Love, peace, happiness and respect to you, my friend.
Posted by: paul4760

Re: Online Friendships - Sun Feb 09 2014 03:17 PM

Very saddened to learn of your loss Agony. I have lost two close, close friends in the last year and when I ponder the significance of what this means to us as human beings I keep coming back to the same two conclusions....first, life is too darn short for fighting and bickering and sweating the small stuff. Secondly, I keep finding that as much as we mourn the person we have lost, we mourn just as much the piece of us that they take with them.
Posted by: glendathecat

Re: Online Friendships - Sun Feb 09 2014 05:07 PM

Thinking of you.
Posted by: Bruyere

Re: Online Friendships - Sun Feb 09 2014 08:42 PM

Good heavens, Agony, I only now noticed this today. I am so sorry to hear it and let me say that you are all just as good a friends as anyone I see each day or once a month in person.
I agree with the like minded individuals when you're socially isolated. When I found this site I lived in France and worked a lot and tried to keep my family going and I barely used English much less found people who knew Gilligan's Island episodes as well as music, art, science, or what have you.

This is also the longest 'job' I've ever held due to all my moving around. I'm glad that you brought some comfort and cheer to your friend.