* His last words were 'The South! The poor South! God knows what will become of her.'
* Who said 'I am always doing that which I cannot do, in order that I may learn how to do it'?
* Who said 'Girls are like pianos. When they're not upright, they're grand'?
* Who said 'Too much of a good thing is wonderful.'?
* Who said 'If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one.'?
* 'You've seen one president, you've seen them all.'
* 'The surest way to be alone is to get married.'
* 'You take my wife. Please.'
* 'I always had a repulsive sort of need to be something more than human.'
* 'Don't be humble, you're not that great.'
* 'When a man sits with a pretty girl for an hour, it seems like a minute. But let him sit on a hot stove for a minute - and it's longer than any hour. That's relativity.'
* 'I don't drink or smoke. But I do chew gum, because Fu Man Chu.'
* 'When you're green you're growing. When you're ripe, you rot.'
* 'The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax.'
* 'Thoughout history, females have picked providers for males. Males pick anything.'
* 'There is no sincerer love than the love of food.'
* 'You'd be surprised how much it costs to look this cheap.'
* 'Technological progress is like an axe in the hands of a pathological criminal.'
* 'Imagination is more important than knowledge.'
* 'Now, we are becoming the men we wanted to marry.'