A Series of Unfortunate Events Trivia

1. This episode commences with someone boarding a trolley car. Who do they claim to be?

From Quiz "The End"

Answer: Ms. Baudelaire

"For Beatrice-- I cherished, you perished, the world's been nightmarished." A young girl boards a trolley car with the intent of reaching the Hotel Denouement but the driver lets her know that the building burnt down years earlier. She boards nonetheless. Her name is Ms. Baudelaire. Lemony Snicket, on the run for many years, is exhausted. Finishing a root beer float in a local diner, he recognizes that those he loved and the organization he was a part of are gone. He spends his days alone tracking the sad case of the Baudelaire orphans. The case, however, seems to have dried up. When they sailed away from the Hotel Denouement, they were never seen again. He happens to be in the same boat as they are, devoid of a happy ending.

From Quiz "The Penultimate Peril: Part Two"

Answer: Chief of the Volunteer Fire Department

At an opera some time ago, Esme Squalor and Kit Snicket watched from a balcony sea while drinking tea (with sugar from the Sugar Bowl, of course). Though Esme tried to speak to Lemony, it was clear that he wasn't listening; when Beatrice was on stage, he only had ears for her. Lemony, writing for 'The Daily Punctilio', was prepared to write his review then and there, but a short intermission from the Chief of the Volunteer Fire Department about fire safety interrupted the moment. As Beatrice headed to the balcony, the Chief thanked his son, Olaf, for being in attendance with them all. "The past haunts the present," according to Lemony Snicket, "the same way a ghost haunts an opera house, which is coincdentally the same way a murder of crows may fly over a hotel." At the Hotel Denouement, Esme and Carmelita scope out the murder of crows and, using binoculars, find the one with the Sugar Bowl. Striking it with a slingshot, they manage to score a direct hit, sending the bird into the sticky paper on the side of the building and the Sugar Bowl tumbling into the laundry room.

From Quiz "The Grim Grotto: Part Two"

Answer: Orphans

After the Baudelaires discover that Sunny has come into contact with the Medusoid Mycelium, they're quickly taken into Count Olaf's submarine as prisoners. Since they don't have the Sugar Bowl, there's much to discuss, but it doesn't take away from the fact that a deadly spore has entered Sunny's diving suit. The Mycellium grows best in small, dark places, like a toddler's throat, and will kill the youngest Baudelaire in an hour if left alone. Count Olaf has no real concern for this. After all, he doesn't need more than one Baudelaire to get their fortune. And so the orphans head to the brig, where the Snow Scouts are being used to paddle the submarine.

From Quiz "The Grim Grotto: Part One"

Answer: The Queequeg

"For Beatrice-- Dead women tell no tales. Sad men write them down." When the Baudelaires finish their stay in the Mortmain Mountains, they ride a sledge down the frozen Stricken Stream to, coincidentally, the same spot where a submarine anticipates breaking the ice out at sea. Though it would make sense that there's nowhere else to go, the Baudelaires find that they have trouble entering the sub if only because they don't know the password. They are, however, let inside when they say enough V.F.D.-related things, and with that they've arrived inside the Queequeg. The Water Cycle, Lemony Snicket explains, involves three key phenomena: Evaporation, Precipitation, and Collection. All are equally dry, a word which, here, means boring. Snicket wishes he were studying the Water Cycle as the dryness of the topic would beget something less unsafe than studying the Baudelaires' predicament.

From Quiz "The Slippery Slope: Part One"

Answer: Jam the wheel

"For Beatrice-- When we met, you were pretty, and I was lonely. Now I am pretty lonely." Like handshakes, house pets, and raw carrots, many things, as per Lemony Snicket, are preferable when not slippery, and the least preferable slippery thing is a slope. The phrase 'a slippery slope' refers to the way that even small, seemingly harmless actions can set you down a path to something horribly wrong. The Baudelaires are always on a slippery slope, it would seem. Violet and Klaus, careening down a mountain road in the back of a runaway caravan, are quick to discover that slippery slopes can also be literal. Tying back her hair, Violet devises a plan to jam the wheel with an oar and use banners to create a drag chute. In a rare fortunate circumstance, Violet's plan works...at least until they plunge off a cliff.

From Quiz "The Carnivorous Carnival: Part One"

Answer: The Mortmain Mountains

"For Beatrice-- Our love broke my heart and stopped yours." In the past, before the Baudelaire children were born, at the V.F.D. Headquarters in the Mortmain Mountains, a note was passed around the party-goers celebrating on the dance floor. The note passed from Larry Your-Waiter to Monty Montgomery before behind handed off to Jacquelyn who gave it to Georgina Orwell's date, Gustav, who put it back in the hands of Larry. When he gave it to Josephine, she flew it into a glass poured on the bar and it was left to wait for the Snickets, Jacques and Lemony, who worried about Beatrice's whereabouts. When Lemony read the note, he discovered that Olaf knew of some important news, and when he found Beatrice out on a balcony, he was too late to save her from her attacker. She plummeted to her death that night.

From Quiz "The Hostile Hospital: Part Two"

Answer: The vents

Klaus and Sunny find themselves in the mail vents of Heimlich Hospital and they watch through the vent covers as Violet is carried through the halls on a stretcher having been captured by Count Olaf and Esme. At the same time, Hal returns to the Library of Records to find that not only have his keys been replaced with fakes, but the door is open and the file cabinets have been knocked over. He files his feelings under D for 'disastrous' and 'deceit'. In the main office, Count Olaf later speaks to Babs about what they can do to hide Violet, but it's clear the bureaucracy in the hospital makes that difficult. Olaf decides to check her in as a patient with a fake name to circumvent this.

From Quiz "The Hostile Hospital: Part One"

Answer: Fire engine

"For Beatrice-- Summer without you is as cold as Winter. Winter without you is even colder." The narrator, Lemony Snicket, informs the viewers that he is taking apart his things because he is now 'on the lam', a phrase which, here, means he is 'conveying this information about the Baudelaires' story while being pursued relentlessly by the law'. Being on the lam is an uncomfortable way to live, not unlike being squeezed into a tight box and tossed at high speed from a moving vehicle. The Baudelaires, too, are on the lam. As their fire engine sputters to a halt, now out of gas, they proceed on foot in search of fuel, deep in the hinterlands. Snicket begs the viewer to look away. It may be the last chance.

From Quiz "The Vile Village: Part One"

Answer: Fowl Fountain

"For Beatrice-- When we were together I felt breathless. Now, you are." If the story of the Baudelaires were a car trip, it would be unpleasant, uncomfortable, and interminably long. Sure enough, the Baudelaires are on a car trip through the hinterlands with Mr. Poe, heading onward to their new guardians in the town of V.F.D., known for its drafty town hall and its aptly-named Fowl Fountain. It's a small town and far from picturesque, and as the Baudelaires near it, they're told that the hundred-or-so citizens of V.F.D. will be responsible for raising them together. After all, it takes a town to raise a village, as the aphorism goes. And it's also a good way to ensure that one guardian doesn't get killed or turn out to be a scheming member of Count Olaf's gang.

From Quiz "The Ersatz Elevator: Part Two"

Answer: A journalist

Jacques and Olivia depart from 667 Dark Avenue having not found the Quagmire orphans, but the Baudelaires land at the bottom of the ersatz elevator shaft in their makeshift craft to find them in a cage at ground level. While they are happy to locate the orphans, our narrator reminds us of what we're watching, and in the future, there will be a long scream in the darkness that encapsulates exactly how you should feel learning of the tale as it unfolds. But more on that when it happens. In the meantime, the Baudelaires are unable to pick the lock, but after Isadora hands over her half of the spyglass, they all realize how adaptive a tool it is. Duncan, a journalist, says that his notes from 'The Incomplete History of Secret Organizations' give a number of helpful tips to use the device. Violet suggests they return to the apartment to try and find something to pick the lock with, so they depart with the knowledge that Count Olaf plans to sell them off at the upcoming auction, hidden in an item up for bidding.

From Quiz "The Ersatz Elevator: Part One"

Answer: Mulctuary Money Management

"For Beatrice-- When we met, my life began. Soon afterward, yours ended." There is a distinct difference between the word 'nervous' and the word 'anxious'. The word 'nervous' simply means 'to be worried about something'. The word 'anxious', however, means 'to be troubled by disturbing suspense'. You will likely be nervous as this story unfolds, but the Baudelaires are anxious as Mr. Poe drops them off on a fashionable city block not far from the wreckage where the family house once stood. While the city is on a manhunt for Count Olaf and the missing Quagmires, the Baudelaires are to check in with their new guardians at 667 Dark Avenue. As soon as they get there, mr. Poe leaves to catch a helicopter.

From Quiz "The Austere Academy: Part Two"

Answer: Reconstructionist Judaism

'School spirit', as is explained, is an odd term that one may believe refers to a ghost or a phantasm haunting an educational establishment. It doesn't. It actually refers to 'the belief that one school may be better than another'. The Baudelaires soon realize that there are worse things that can haunt a school than school spirit. Coach Genghis makes his introduction to Prufrock Preparatory at the pep rally and the Baudelaires realize that they may only have one chance to reveal Olaf for who he really is. Taking a copy of the Daily Punctilio, they head to the stage and try to note the similarities between Olaf and the new coach, but since he won't remove his turban (for religious reasons) or his shoes, they have to leave the situation in the hands of the Advanced Computer System. It doesn't work, failing to identify the villain. Coach Genghis forces the orphans to partake in his Select Orphan Running Exercises (S.O.R.E.) and that's that.

From Quiz "The Miserable Mill: Part Two"

Answer: Mrs. Poe

Mr. Poe, disappointed that the Baudelaires have seemed to elude his searches, confides in his wife that he'll likely lose his job because he lost the orphans. He's informed almost immediately after that he won't be fired, but he will be demoted severely. In the meantime he's told to remove his #1 banker pin. He places it with a package he's meant to deliver to Klaus. Eleanora Poe takes up the mantle, claiming that her roots as an investigative journalist make her suited to find the missing children. Lemony Snicket assures us that the events taking place at the Lucky Smells Lumbermill are not as black-and-white as Mrs. Poe's articles at the Daily Punctilio, and says that the misfortunes that happen there in the Baudelaires' presence are twofold, unlike what the news would have one believe. He encourages you to avoid viewing any further, but that he will nonetheless tell the truth.

From Quiz "The Wide Window: Part One"

Answer: Ferry

"For Beatrice-- I would much prefer it if you were alive and well." On a report for the Lachrymose News, reporters note that the tragic tale of the Baudelaire orphans is still ongoing as they make their way to a new guardian, once again trying to evade Count Olaf's grasp. Lemony Snicket makes it clear that if the story of the Baudelaire orphans were a weather report, there would hardly be any sunshine to be seen. After leaving Dr. Montgomery's house, the Baudelaires were taken by Mr. Poe to the Damocles Dock via the Fickle Ferry on their way to Lake Lachrymose. Their taxi will be arriving shortly; Mr. Poe has to leave.

From Quiz "The Reptile Room: Part Two"

Answer: In the Reptile Room

The Baudelaires wake up at dawn and know instantly that something is amiss. Monty had planned to awaken them. Violet and Klaus run downstairs to the Reptile Room and find him...well...his body at the seat at his desk. A bite mark radiating venomous veins is on his cheek; he is dead, and no less a specimen than his reptiles. Count Olaf greets the children and says that it's tragic, but for the best. They will all head to the car and depart for the SS Prospero, bound for Peru. The children refuse, but when Olaf reveals that he has Sunny trapped in one of his suitcases, they have no real choice but to follow along.

From Quiz "The Reptile Room: Part One"

Answer: Lousy Lane

"For Beatrice-- My love for you shall live forever. You, however, did not." Mr. Snicket stands outside a house will outside the city because another episode in the Baudelaire Orphans' ghastly story is about to begin. Sure enough, the Baudelaires, almost immediately departing from their horrible stay with Count Olaf, are in the car with Mr. Poe en route to meet the man who was supposed to be their legal guardian-- the closest living relative after all-- Dr. Montgomery Montgomery. Mr. Poe admits that it may have been a mistake to be put into Count Olaf's hands. His assistant, Jacquelyn, has also informed him that Count Olaf is still, unfortunately, 'at large', a phrase which here means 'that the authorities had not caught him and would not catch him for a very long time.' Before long, Mr. Poe drives the orphans down Lousy Lane, a street driving past an orchard so foul that the fruits it bore were so sour it would turn off anyone who looked at them. Not to mention the bitter smell of the horseradish factory nearby.

From Quiz "The Bad Beginning: Part Two"

Answer: Haircut

Mr. Lemony Snicket greets the viewer and says that the melancholy tale unfolding before their eyes is not one that should be viewed at all. He encourages anyone watching to leave. Of course, it is still Mr. Snicket's duty to report his findings, and he brings the story back to its origins, long before Mr. Poe took in the Baudelaire orphans and even before they children made their way to Briny Beach that fateful day. How did they end up in the care of Count Olaf? In the ill-decorated office of Mr. Poe, he received the file, but not from the hands of his secretary. Instead, it was brought to him by Count Olaf himself, who made his way into Mulctuary Money Management, snagged the file from the secretary, and brought it in himself under the name Yessica Haircut. Of course, Mr. Poe has an appointment for a haircut already, so he cancels that and decides to hear what he has to say. Mr. Poe's secretary, realizing this is an urgent matter, takes a device from her desk drawer, goes outside, and uses it to spy Count Olaf's vehicle across the road. She doesn't notice one of his henchmen is missing until it's too late.

From Quiz "The Bad Beginning: Part One"

Answer: Beatrice

"Beatrice-- Darling, Dearest... Dead." As our narrator, Mr. Lemony Snicket says, this is not really a story for anyone. In fact, no one should watch it. There is no happy ending. There is no happy beginning. Very few happy things occur in the middle. One would be better off not watching at all; anyone could just turn away and watch something more pleasant instead. But of course, the story must still be told, which is why Mr. Snicket informs the viewer that the Baudelaire children and the events that surround them are rife with misfortune, misery, and despair. It begins on the trolley.

From Quiz "The Penultimate Peril: Part One"

Answer: Her brother, Lemony

The Baudelaires decide that Kit is able to be trusted if because, at the very least, she went out of her way to help them. It's because of this that they listen when she points out Frank Denouement, one of the managers of the Hotel, before they head inside. He is, fortunately, V.F.D. Unfortunately, however, his identical twin brother, Ernest, is on the other side of the schism. They need to identify the helpful brother, through close observation, as he will help them understand if the Hotel truly is the Last Safe Place. If it isn't, they will need to signal V.F.D. to stay away. As the Baudelaires head inside, Kit is met by one of the Denouement Brothers, the father of her child. If she can get her hands on the Sugar Bowl, she says, she can end the schism and they can finally be together. And as Kit reaches her taxi, she doesn't notice the man in her back seat-- her brother, Lemony. As Lemony explains, many years ago when he was younger and at the Hotel Denouement he would receive awful news about Jacques, his brother. If he could go back in time, he would have told himself to stay at the Hotel Denouement instead of leave with Kit, but he can't change the past.

From Quiz "The Grim Grotto: Part Two"

Answer: The Hook-Handed Man

As the Baudelaires are brought to the brig to find not only the captured Snow Scouts, but their captured chef, Phil, paddling the Carmelita, it seems like the most proper time for Carmelita herself to announce a recital (encouraged by Esme, of course). Count Olaf stows the children away where they can't escape and the Baudelaires realize that all hope is lost. After Olaf leaves, it's only moments, however, before the Hook-Handed Man bursts in the door claiming to be there to torture them. In reality, he's actually curious as to how they ended up on the Queequeg. When he realizes that Sunny is sick, he decides to help. He insists that they're not on the same side though.

From Quiz "The Slippery Slope: Part Two"

Answer: Fire

At the top of Mount Fraught, the man with a beard but no hair and the woman with hair but no beard contemplate Sunny's presence but suggest that there's no problem that can't be solved without setting it on fire, just like the issue of someone hiding at V.F.D. Headquarters. Unfortunately, they didn't find anyone hiding there when they burnt it down, but they are aware that Kit Snicket is alone in the mountains. She's not. While Kit attempts to create skis out of tree bark, Mr. Poe, who spent the night with her in a cave in the Mortmain Mountains, offers her a ride back into the city. She suggests this might be a good idea because 'where there's smoke, there's fire', and she's been seeing a lot of smoke in the city. 'Where there's smoke, there's fire' is an expression which, here, means 'if something seems wrong, it usually is'. Before she and Mr. Poe can be swarmed by snow gnats, Kit accepts Mr. Poe's ride back to the city and lights her skis on fire. Snow gnats, after all, hate smoke.

From Quiz "The Slippery Slope: Part One"

Answer: With Count Olaf

Violet and Klaus manage to escape the caravan at the last moment, climbing out the back and up the side of the cliff before it plummets to the ground far below. Their lives? Saved. But it doesn't solve the fact that Count Olaf and his coterie have Sunny in their clutches. Count Olaf, meanwhile, drives up through the mountains believing that he's triumphed over the orphans. With two believed to be dead and one stowed away in his glove compartment, there's nothing stopping him from claiming the inheritance once and for all...except for the supposed surviving Baudelaire parent. Nonetheless, it's all within his grasp. As Lemony Snicket says, however, you need to watch your step when you're at the top of a moral threshold. After all, there's nowhere to go but down.

From Quiz "The Carnivorous Carnival: Part Two"

Answer: A valley

The Baudelaires inform Olivia that the Quagmires are safe and while she's thrilled about this, there are much more dire issues present. Until the real Madame Lulu returns they need to stall Count Olaf and stay in disguise. She also confirms that she lied to Olaf, stating that a Baudelaire parent survived the fire, and she regrets the orphans hearing this, but it was done with purpose. That said, if Jacques believed it was true then it could be true. Breaking out her copy of 'The Incomplete History of Secret Organizations', Olivia shows the children a map and promises to take them into the Mortmain Mountains to the V.F.D. headquarters. When Klaus looks at this map, he believes it to be in the Valley of the Four Drafts.

From Quiz "The Hostile Hospital: Part One"

Answer: Telegraph

The Baudelaires, traveling on foot, end up arriving at the Last Chance General Store in the hinterlands to find that there's no gas and no phone service. Additionally, the new edition of the Daily Punctilio has their mugshots on the front. The children head inside the general store anyways, hoping to use their functional telegraph machine to send a message to Mulctuary Money Management, perhaps so that Mr. Poe's secretary can receive it. The message is cut short, however, since Count Olaf arrives and chases them through the store, forcing them to run out the back. They end up escaping in a volunteer band labeled V.F.D.

From Quiz "The Vile Village: Part Two"

Answer: Because Violet is not of age

At Mulctuary Money Management, Jacquelyn receives word from Mr. Poe and she and Larry realize that something must be wrong. Sure enough, when they receive word from the Daily Punctilio, they very quickly realize that with Snicket dead, their troubles are only beginning to worsen. They head out immediately. In V.F.D., the Baudelaires end up in prison with no way out, and Mr. Poe admits that he should have steered them away from murder. As orphans, they were susceptible to crime, and he failed them by not sheltering them. He says his goodbyes and speaks with Detective Dupin about Count Olaf's death before planning to leave.

From Quiz "The Vile Village: Part One"

Answer: Crows

While the Baudelaires take their interminably long car ride to V.F.D., they end up being followed about a mile back by Count Olaf and his henchmen, now with Esme Squalor in tow. While they discuss how they'll continue to chase down the Baudelaires, they realize that they too are being followed by a cab about a mile back. This cab turns out to contain Jacques Snicket and Olivia Caliban, both still on the hunt for him. Olaf turns off on a shortcut, leading the chase elsewhere. The Baudelaires, meanwhile, show up in V.F.D. to find that the town is overrun by crows. While Mr. Poe heads to the town hall to have some papers signed, the children worry that the V.F.D. they're in may not be the V.F.D. they need because of their misstep at Veblen Hall. That said, they hope that Duncan and Isadora will still be there.

From Quiz "The Ersatz Elevator: Part Two"

Answer: Parsley soda

Count Olaf and Esme return to 667 Dark Avenue and Esme drags Jerome all the way back up the stairs to the penthouse floor. The Baudelaires ascend to the top, but destroy their thrown-together hot air balloon by overusing the heat of the spyglass, barely making it to the penthouse floor and climbing out of the elevator shaft before Esme arrives. She brings Jerome into the apartment and urges the children to tell her anything she needs to know to help them out. They relent and inform her of everything: Count Olaf is Gustav, the Quagmires are in the elevator shaft, and Olaf is planning to sell them off. Esme claims that this is the least 'in' thing in ages and urges them to have a drink of something very new and very 'in'-- parsley soda.

From Quiz "The Austere Academy: Part Two"

Answer: Jacques Snicket

The Baudelaires head back to their tiny, tin shack and realize that things are even more dire than before. The two Quagmire triplets come by soon after to spread their optimism and reconfirm that their parents all knew each other once upon a time. They once again state that they must visit the library in an effort to locate the missing book, but not long after this decision, Carmelita arrives to tell the Baudelaires to head to the school track to meet with Coach Genghis for their nightly regimen. Larry, meanwhile, still freezing inside the cafeteria freezer, is surprised when Jacques Snicket, his taxi driver, arrives to free him from his prison.

From Quiz "The Austere Academy: Part One"

Answer: Cake-sniffers

Mr. Snicket insists that a preparatory school should be the ideal place to meet new friends and settle in, especially if your home has been destroyed by a fire in the past. But the Baudelaires don't have much time to do this-- a young girl in a pink dress introduces herself as Carmelita Spats, the prettiest girl in all of Prufrock, and says that she is there to give them a tour of the school. She repeatedly calls them 'cake-sniffers'-- a term she does not define but which Violet takes as an insult-- before they head through the hallways. Violet and Klaus notice that everyone in the school is looking at them funnily; Carmelita insists it's because their parents died in a fire.

From Quiz "The Miserable Mill: Part Two"

Answer: Shirley

After handing Klaus his new glasses, Shirley is introduced to the Baudelaires as Dr. Orwell's new assistant, but Violet and Sunny aren't fooled in the slightest, even though Olaf points to his name tag bearing the name 'Shirley St. Ives'. Dr. Orwell admits that the children are a bit too nosy for their own good, but no one can really do much else because Sir and Charles arrive soon after. Sir makes it apparent that he and Dr. Orwell have a deal and before long, Charles is encouraged to stop by for an eye exam even though he claims to have perfect vision. Soon after, the children are put back to work, with Klaus working the stamping machine. Violet is, of course, concerned; her brother would never operate such a machine without reading the manual first...even if he's doing it perfectly.

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