Lights, Camera, Woofing! Trivia Quiz

Answer: Old Shep

This song, which made me shed buckets of tears as a child, has been recorded by several artists over the years, but the version by Elvis is perhaps the most well known of these. It tells of a boy who grew up with his much loved dog, Shep. The two spent years together until Shep grew too old and had to be put down. This is a HORRIBLY sad section of the song, which still gets to me yet. Those particular lyrics follow.

"As the years fast did roll
Old Shep, he grew old
His eyes were fast growing dim
And one day the doctor looked at me and said
"I can do no more for him, Jim"

With hands that were trembling
I picked up my gun
And aimed it at Shep's faithful head
I just couldn't do it, I wanted to run
I wish they would shoot me instead

He came to my side and looked up at me
And laid his old head on my knee
I had struck the best friend a man ever had
I cried so I scarcely could see

Old Shep, he has gone where the good doggies go
And no more with old Shep will I roam
But if dogs have a heaven there's one thing I know
Old Shep has a wonderful home"

Answer: Me And You And A Dog Named Boo

This song is all about a man travelling all around the countryside with a companion, and a dog named Boo, never staying long in one place, and picking up odd jobs here and there which earned them enough money to move on to the next place somewhere down the long and dusty road. One presumes the companion was his wife or girlfriend. She doesn't even merit a name. Boo, the dog, does however. One verse and the chorus follow below.

"I remember to this day, the bright red Georgia clay
How it stuck to the tires after the summer rain
Will power made that old car go, a woman's mind told me that it's so
Oh, how I wish we were back on the road again

Me and you and a dog named Boo
Travellin' and livin' off the land
Me and you and a dog named Boo
How I love bein' a free man"

Answer: Waggly

The best known version of this number was recorded by Patti Page in 1952. It's a lovely innocent novelty song all about somebody wanting to buy an appealing dog with a "waggly" (sic) tail spotted in a pet store window. Unbelievably it reached number one on several charts and sold over two million copies. Part of its lyrics, which were recorded with sound effects, follow.

"How much is that doggie in the window (arf, arf)
The one with the waggly tail
How much is that doggie in the window (arf, arf)
I do hope that doggie's for sale

I must take a trip to California
And leave my poor sweetheart alone
If he has a dog he won't be lonesome
And the doggie will have a good home

How much is that doggie in the window (arf, arf)
The one with the waggly tail
How much is that doggie in the window (arf, arf)
I do hope that doggie's for sale

I read in the papers there are robbers (roof, roof)
With flashlights that shine in the dark
My love needs a doggie to protect him
And scare them away with one bark"

Answer: Saint Bernard

Starring Bonnie Hunt and Charles Grodin, "Beethoven" tells the story of a group of puppies, including a Saint Bernard, stolen from a pet store. After managing to escape, Beethoven sneaks into a family home and climbs up onto the bed of the little girl there.

When discovered by the parents, the father doesn't want to keep the pup, but his wife and children convince him otherwise. Beethoven is given his name because he barks whenever the composer's Fifth Symphony is played. I quite often feel inclined to do the same thing. Over time, Beethoven becomes more and more a part of the family (causing trouble and mischief of course) and the father becomes more and more irritated by him.

However, when Beethoven's very life is threatened by a veterinarian in league with the original thieves, the father of the family leads the charge to rescue the dog. And it all ends barkingly happy ever after.

Answer: He has to be euthanized

Oh I hate that sort of ending. It's just too sad. Based on the real life memoirs of John Grogan, "Marley and Me" relates the life story of a Labrador pup who becomes part of the lives of a young married couple (Jennifer Aniston and Owen Wilson), and their growing family over the years, even to the extent of having his exploits detailed in a twice-weekly newspaper column. He's a simply dreadful dog as far as mischief goes though, and for a long while the wife in this case wants to give him away. Finally, however, she realises that Marley is an integral part of the entire family, allows him to stay, and comes to love him as much as everyone else. Alas, old age and illness finally catch up with the once lively and lovable pup, and he has to be put to sleep to ease his suffering. The film closes with Marley buried under a tree in the family's back yard - close to them forever.

Oh crumbs, time for the tissues.

Answer: She finds out about his past girlfriends

This Disney classic is just lovely, and so skilled was the company by then at giving human like qualities to its animal cartoon characters, that we quite forget that the stars in the film are actually four-footed animations. To us, they become living, breathing "people" we love. Tramp, the hero of the piece, reminds me a little of an Australian male from bygone eras, brave, a little rough around the edges, of dubious heritage, always in trouble of some sort and not adverse to a scrap or two. Lady, the dainty cocker spaniel, becomes an upper class elegant lady who has her sensibilities shocked beyond all measure by this rough vagabond she comes to love.

The two co-stars are equally lovable with their human like attributes. There's Jock, a Scottish terrier straight from a military tattoo I swear, and Trusty, a lugubrious bloodhound who, for all the world, reminds me of an elderly British colonel fast approaching his dotage. Hilarious, loyal, loving and brave, and replete with a host of other animal characters, this film is a true dog lover's delight.

Answer: Smeared sardine oil on their faces

How delightful. Worse still, to get Eddie to nuzzle any of the actors, liver pate was applied behind their ears. "Eddie", a Jack Russell terrier whose real name was Moose, plays Martin Crane's much loved pooch in this series. He was an extremely troublesome dog for his original owners.

They finally gave up trying to control him, and handed him over to a firm that trained pets for television and movie productions. Moose's scoring of the role of Eddie in the extremely popular series "Frasier" was the making of the little dog.

Indeed, at the height of the show's popularity, he received more fan mail than his human co-stars. As he grew older and a little stiffer, Moose's real life son, Enzo, acted as his stunt double in the more physically demanding scenes. Moose lived from 1990 until 2006, and upon retirement, spent his remaining years with his trainer, along with his son Enzo, and Jill, the beautiful little Brussels Griffon dog who "acted" as Verdell, the dog in the 1997 film "As Good as It Gets".

Answer: He grew old and too deaf to understand his trainers

In his role as Buck Bundy for the first ten seasons of "Married...with Children", this briard star was given lines of dialogue by season four. Spoken by a voiceover of course. Dogs haven't evolved to human levels of speech production...yet. His lines, spoken directly to the audience, but never heard by the Bundy family, usually consisted of criticism of his human owners, lust for any neighbourhood dog that wagged a stray tail at him, and complaints about his scanty meals.

In season ten, however, Buck had to be killed off by the writers, for, in real life, his old age related hearing problems were making it difficult for him to understand his trainer's instructions. Replaced by another dog, Lucky, in the same season, the story line around this replacement was that Buck had been reincarnated in this new form as punishment for his doggy misbehaviour whilst in his first life.

Answer: As a test subject to see if the rocket would work

Shades of Laika, the early Soviet space dog! Krypto, however, had more luck than the little Laika, who died within hours of her historic launch into space. The story line of Krypto's arrival on earth is that Superman's father, while testing rockets to see if interstellar travel would be successful, used Krypto, a small puppy, as his test subject.

A malfunction in the wiring of the rocket, however, put Krypto into a deep sleep for some years, and he didn't arrive on earth until he was an adult dog.

There, because he is busy saving the world, Superman places Krypto into the care of a nine year old boy named Kevin. Kevin and Krypto are the only ones who know about the canine's equally impressive super powers, and converse to each other over the course of their adventures together by means of a universal translator. Dear me.

The show only lasted two seasons however. One presumes the universal translator malfunctioned.

Answer: He was run over and killed in real life

Tiger only appeared in ten episodes in total during the run of the television series "The Brady Bunch" (1969-1974) and then was written out without any explanation given to the viewers, or apparently the Brady kids, at all. However, in his short stint at stardom, the original Tiger met with an unfortunate accident in real life when he was run over by a vehicle, and died.

A lookalike Tiger stepped into the role for the remainder of the ten episodes, and then disappeared completely from our screens. Such is the fleeting glory of fame.