Terry Pratchett's Igors - What Goes Around... Quiz

Answer: The Ankh-Morporkian Consulate in Bonk

Hence Igor's first words to Sam (the Duke) 'Good evening, marthterth, mithreth...Welcome to Ankh-Morpork'. Although they meet in Bonk, it is technically Ankh-Morpork territory. Sybil thinks Igor is 'a fine figure of a man'; Sam replies 'More than one man, by the look of him'.

Answer: People in drought-stricken areas

He pronounces it 'thauthageth'. Try saying it out loud...now wipe your monitor screen!

Answer: The second Igor's eyes were both the same colour and his scars were different

The Igor Sam had first met was this one's cousin. It is here that Sam learns that all the family is called Igor ('It avoidth confuthion') and that everyone who is anyone in Uberwald has a servant called Igor.

Answer: A hand (wrapped in ice to 'keep it nithe and freth')

'He athked me if I could lend him a hand'. This is where Sam learns (from Cheery) that Igors fulfill a function, and that people in Uberwald are always happy to donate bits of themselves to Igors in their wills, so they can be used on the living. Igors think that 'putting bodieth in the ground ith rather gruethome. All thothe wormth and thingth'.

Answer: False

The first Igor (Igor at the embassy) was killed by Wolfgang, although having given away his liver, brain, right hand, various entrails, left eye, right knee and hip joints on his death bed, no doubt he would be soon 'be up on someone else's feet'. His nephew (Igor!) goes to work in Ankh-Morpork as Sam has seen how useful they can be.

Answer: His uncle's hands

'Bio-artificing for the next century, thur. None of that out-moded cutting up of old bodies'. His father thinks him useless, as he's got a speech impediment (doesn't lisp enough) and doesn't consider him 'worth breaking down for thpareth'. Vimes, however, is open-minded enough to take a nose-breeder 'in exchange for surgery that didn't include screaming and buckets of boiling pitch'. Oh, and he's got his grandfather's hands!

Answer: Instant fish and chips

Igor's a bio-artificer and is trying to breed instant fish and chips. We also learn he has a quiff that could put a man's eye out and two thumbs on his right hand.

Answer: The black plumes

The Magpyrs are very modern vampires, which is anethema to Igors, who are very traditional! Igor longs for the old Count, who was a gentleman.

Answer: Nanny Ogg

When Nanny warns Igor that if he hasn't been straight with them, she'll have his guts for garters, he murmurs 'Oh, that'th more than a man could pothibly hope for'.

Answer: Buffaloeth

'A herd fell on him. A freak acthident. We don't talk about it'. This is where we learn Igors also do surgery on themselves, with someone to put a finger on the knots. It isn't painful - the Igor 'alwayth tell them to take it away jutht before they pull the thtring tight'.

Answer: Thcrapth

Some of him is 78 years old! He's 'several dogs rolled into one' and just a big softy - either wagging people to death or drowning them in slobber. He's also happy as dog with two tails, as Igor had one spare. He doesn't so much 'play dead' as remember!

Answer: It looked as though it was the only way Death would get his scythe back

Won't stop playing 'Fetch' with Death's scythe, so although Death normally disapproves of this sort of thing (reanimation, things returning from the dead), he wants his scythe back!

Answer: In a wooden crate, posted by express package

Eight days from Uberwald with no problems, then they left him upside down on the doorstep!

Answer: Yethmarthter Uberwald

They're based at The Old Rathaus, Bad Schuschein.

Answer: Mad Lord Snapcase

A certain thread runs through here. Mad Lord Snapcase, though possibly a suitable employer for an Igor, was a former Patrician of Ankh-Morpork. Jeremy, on the other hand, carries a piece of paper that says he's not insane! Something wrong here, I suspect! I hope you enjoyed this Igor quiz - please let me know if you'd like to hear more about these fascinating characters.