Anatomy of a Song: "The Reluctant Cannibal" Quiz

Answer: At the tom-tom

'Seated one day at the tom-tom'. A tom-tom is a type of drum without a snare.

Answer: Come and get it!

'I heard a welcome shout from the kitchens: "Come and get it!"' I must admit, in my earlier life as a cook at a parachute centre, I did use this shout to get the diners in.

Answer: Insurance salesman

Although I'm sure there are many fine, upstanding people in all these professions, you must admit their images are not good (and I, as a Civil Servant, should know!) My personal choice would be for politician, if I wasn't afraid of poisoning.

Answer: Junior

'A chorus of yums ran round the table. Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum.... Except for Junior, who pushed away his shell, got up from his log, and said, "I don't want any part of it."'
Junior is the reluctant cannibal of the song, and the singer's son.

Answer: People don't taste good

Nothing is said about the taste at all - it's all about the moral arguments! Human flesh was known by cannibals as 'long pig'.

Answer: The juju

'But people have always eaten people, what else is there to eat? If the juju had meant us not to eat people, he wouldn't have made us of meat.' Not an advocate of vegetarianism, then..

Answer: Chief assistant to the assistant chief

'To think that a son of mine should grow up to be a sissy... Me, chief assistant to the assistant chief'.
I don't think there were many CEOs around at that time - or blackboards for that matter.

Answer: One of his mothers

'Have you been talking to one of your mothers again?'
Obviously a polygamous society! I made up PETP (People for the Ethical Treatment of People) and the RSPCP (Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to People).

Answer: Francis

'I know why you say “Don't eat people”, because you are a coward, Francis, that's your trouble, yes, a yellow-livered coward. You wouldn't mind eating people if you weren't afraid of ending up in the pot yourself. How despicable. Go on like this and you're liable to get me into hot water.'
Francis seems like an odd name for a cannibal to me, not least because it reminds me of the Talking Mule. Hence the wrong answers of Ed, Hector and Dougal, who are all talking animals.

Answer: Don't fight people

'If this crazy idealistic idea of yours was to catch on, I just don't know where we would all be. It would just about ruin our entire internal economy. Fortunately, I suppose its catching on isn't very likely. Why, you might just as well go around saying “don't fight people”, for example...

Don't fight people? Ha ha! (Both convulsed with laughter)

Oh, that's my boy.

(In chorus:) Ridiculous!'
So the song ends with them in total accord, and I expect that the lad finished his nice roast leg!