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Quiz about Did a Vogon Write Those Lyrics
Quiz about Did a Vogon Write Those Lyrics

Did a Vogon Write Those Lyrics? Quiz


According to Douglas Adams' "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy", Vogons write the worst poetry in the universe, poetry you'd gnaw your leg off to escape. Let's explore the Vogon influence on Earth music.

A multiple-choice quiz by ubermom. Estimated time: 6 mins.
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Author
ubermom
Time
6 mins
Type
Multiple Choice
Quiz #
199,378
Updated
Dec 03 21
# Qns
10
Difficulty
Average
Avg Score
7 / 10
Plays
1126
- -
Question 1 of 10
1. This one ought to be a piece of... well, you know:

"Someone left the cake out in the rain.
I don't think that I can take it
'Cause it took so long to bake it
And I'll never have that recipe again."

What's the title of this winner of the Dave Barry Bad Song Survey?

Answer: (Two words)
Question 2 of 10
2. Vicki Lawrence -- of "The Carol Burnett Show" and "Mama's Family" -- actually had a #1 hit in 1973 with a song containing the following lyrics:

"Well, the judge said guilty in a make-believe trial,
Slapped the sheriff on the back with a smile,
Said, 'Supper's waiting at home and I gotta get to it.'"

What was the name of this criminal ditty?
Hint


Question 3 of 10
3. It was hard to pick just one example of Vogonity out of the lyrics to this song, which topped the Billboard charts in 1978, but I managed to select this passage:

"I'm just another writer
Still trapped within my truth
A hesitant prize fighter
Still trapped within my youth."

Dave Barry (of the Bad Song Survey) commented that the singer, Dan Hill, sounded like he was getting his prostate examined by Captain Hook while singing this song. What is it?
Hint


Question 4 of 10
4. Rich Mullins is widely regarded as the best Christian singer/songwriter of the 20th century. But sometimes I think he was more inspired by Vogons than by the Holy Spirit. In particular, there's a line from "Hold Me, Jesus" that starts, "It's so hot inside my soul..." How does this Vogonish line finish? Hint


Question 5 of 10
5. Maybe, like me, you had one of those Fisher-Price ferris wheels as a kid, that played, "In the Good Old Summertime." Thank God that it played only the tune, not the lyrics, or your little innocent head would have exploded. Just as an example of the Vogonity of these lyrics, finish the line:

"You hold her hand and she holds yours, and that's a very good sign..."
Hint


Question 6 of 10
6. "I'm lying alone with my head on the phone
Thinking of you till it hurts"

Your head hurts because you're resting it on a telephone, dipstick! Get a clue! And a pillow!

Evidently Air Supply had air in their heads, and a direct link to the Vogon Poet Laureate. Which of their abysmal songs featured these mind-numbingly stupid lyrics?
Hint


Question 7 of 10
7. "(This Song's Just) Six Words Long," Weird Al's parody, ironically, had more words than the original song. Weird Al sang:

"Oh, you gotta have-a music.
You need really catchy music.
This song has got plenty of music
But just six words, child."

Which Vogon creation was Weird Al picking on?
Hint


Question 8 of 10
8. Billy Joel can be hit-or-miss. Sometimes he gives the listener a great tune and lyrics that are insightful or at least fun. But then the Vogons strike and he spouts something like this:

"It's sad and it's sweet and I knew it complete
When I wore a younger man's clothes."

I guess the younger man wanted his clothes back. Which song did the Vogons insert this line into?
Hint


Question 9 of 10
9. Boy George could be mistaken for a space alien even without getting his song lyrics from the Vogons. In what song did he croon:

"Every day is like a survival.
You're my lover not my rival."?
Hint


Question 10 of 10
10. A low note, a song that seems to make everbody's list of songs that make you want to puncture your eardrums. In what song are we subjected to:

"Learned of love and A-B-Cs,
Skinned our hearts and skinned our knees."?
Hint



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Quiz Answer Key and Fun Facts
1. This one ought to be a piece of... well, you know: "Someone left the cake out in the rain. I don't think that I can take it 'Cause it took so long to bake it And I'll never have that recipe again." What's the title of this winner of the Dave Barry Bad Song Survey?

Answer: MacArthur Park

"MacArthur Park" was penned by Jimmy Web. Depending upon your point of view, he either made up for it or compounded the crime by writing "By The Time I Get To Phoenix," "Up, Up and Away," and "Wichita Lineman." For a history of this unforgettable work, see http://www.superseventies.com/sw_macarthurpark.html.
2. Vicki Lawrence -- of "The Carol Burnett Show" and "Mama's Family" -- actually had a #1 hit in 1973 with a song containing the following lyrics: "Well, the judge said guilty in a make-believe trial, Slapped the sheriff on the back with a smile, Said, 'Supper's waiting at home and I gotta get to it.'" What was the name of this criminal ditty?

Answer: The Night the Lights Went Out in Georgia

"The Night the Lights Went Out in Georgia" was written by Vicki's then-husband, Bobby Russell. Vicki and Bobby's marriage ended in divorce shortly after the record hit the Billboard charts. Draw your own conclusions about that. Reba MacEntire dragged the song out of its coffin for a remake in 1991.

Bobby Russell, by the way, also wrote "Honey" for Bobby Goldsboro, so evidently the Vogons were piping bad poetry straight into his cerebral cortex.

"Delta Dawn" was inflicted on us by Helen Reddy; "Half-Breed" by Cher; and "Kiss And Say Goodbye" by Manhattans.
3. It was hard to pick just one example of Vogonity out of the lyrics to this song, which topped the Billboard charts in 1978, but I managed to select this passage: "I'm just another writer Still trapped within my truth A hesitant prize fighter Still trapped within my youth." Dave Barry (of the Bad Song Survey) commented that the singer, Dan Hill, sounded like he was getting his prostate examined by Captain Hook while singing this song. What is it?

Answer: Sometimes When We Touch

Dan Hill co-wrote this piece of tripe with Barry Mann, who certainly should have known better. Maybe Barry Mann momentarily mistook himself for Barry Manilow, who liked "Sometimes When We Touch" enough to do a remake. So did Olivia Newton-John and Rod Stewart, as if they didn't have enough bad songs to their discredit already.

The other three songs (the wrong answers) are proof that Manilow, Newton-John, and Stewart had their own Vogon connection and needed no help from Dan Hill.
4. Rich Mullins is widely regarded as the best Christian singer/songwriter of the 20th century. But sometimes I think he was more inspired by Vogons than by the Holy Spirit. In particular, there's a line from "Hold Me, Jesus" that starts, "It's so hot inside my soul..." How does this Vogonish line finish?

Answer: I swear there must be blisters on my heart.

"Hold Me, Jesus" was on the "A Liturgy, a Legacy, and a Ragamuffin Band" album released in 1993. "Hold Me Jesus" was the "Dona Nobis Pacem" of the liturgy, and was inspired by scriptures I Kings 19:3-13 and Matthew 11:25-30. Nowhere in these scriptures is there a blistered heart. That contribution was obviously Vogon.
5. Maybe, like me, you had one of those Fisher-Price ferris wheels as a kid, that played, "In the Good Old Summertime." Thank God that it played only the tune, not the lyrics, or your little innocent head would have exploded. Just as an example of the Vogonity of these lyrics, finish the line: "You hold her hand and she holds yours, and that's a very good sign..."

Answer: That she's your tootsie wootsie in the good old summertime!

One day my dad started singing along with the Fisher-Price ferris wheel. I was astonished. "Tootsie wootsie? Are you serious?" I asked. His reply? "How can you be serious about 'tootsie wootsie'?"

The words to this infantile ditty were written by Ren Shields in 1902. It was first inflicted on the public on Broadway. The King's Men, S.Z. Sakall, Buster Keaton, and Spring Byington recorded it in 1948, and it got stuck into a medly for the film, "In The Good Old Summertime," with Judy Garland and Gene Kelly. The soundtrack was released on CD in 2003. Bad songs never really die, do they? The Vogons just keep beaming them into people's brains.
6. "I'm lying alone with my head on the phone Thinking of you till it hurts" Your head hurts because you're resting it on a telephone, dipstick! Get a clue! And a pillow! Evidently Air Supply had air in their heads, and a direct link to the Vogon Poet Laureate. Which of their abysmal songs featured these mind-numbingly stupid lyrics?

Answer: All Out of Love

Graham Russell and Clive Davis channeled the Vogons for this one, included in Air Supply's "Lost in Love" album released in 1980. I don't think even Arthur Dent, Douglas Adams' quick-thinking everyman, could have pretended to like this one.
7. "(This Song's Just) Six Words Long," Weird Al's parody, ironically, had more words than the original song. Weird Al sang: "Oh, you gotta have-a music. You need really catchy music. This song has got plenty of music But just six words, child." Which Vogon creation was Weird Al picking on?

Answer: (Got My Mind) Set On You

George Harrison released "Set On You" in 1987. Harrison's career got hijacked by Vogons after the Beatles broke up. Rudy Clark lifted these lyrics from the Vogons on Harrison's behalf.
8. Billy Joel can be hit-or-miss. Sometimes he gives the listener a great tune and lyrics that are insightful or at least fun. But then the Vogons strike and he spouts something like this: "It's sad and it's sweet and I knew it complete When I wore a younger man's clothes." I guess the younger man wanted his clothes back. Which song did the Vogons insert this line into?

Answer: Piano Man

This one was on the "Piano Man" album, released in 1973. Believe it or not, it's based on Joel's experiences playing in a piano bar, not his experiences aboard one of the ships of a Vogon Constructor Fleet.
9. Boy George could be mistaken for a space alien even without getting his song lyrics from the Vogons. In what song did he croon: "Every day is like a survival. You're my lover not my rival."?

Answer: Karma Chameleon

"Karma Chameleon" was on "Color By Numbers," released by Culture Club in 1983. Nobody specific seems to want to accept the blame for writing those words. Must've been the Vogons.
10. A low note, a song that seems to make everbody's list of songs that make you want to puncture your eardrums. In what song are we subjected to: "Learned of love and A-B-Cs, Skinned our hearts and skinned our knees."?

Answer: Seasons in the Sun

Terry Jacks usually gets the blame for giving a voice to Rod McKuen's words on this one. But The Kingston Trio, Nana Mouskouri, Bud & Travis, and Pearls Before Swine performed versions of "Seasons in the Sun" in French and English before Terry Jacks got around to it in 1973. Rod is guilty only of bringing the words to the English-speaking world. It was Jacques Brel who took Vogon dictation in French back in 1962, calling the result "Le Moribond." If only. This song simply refuses to die.

The Vogons slipped "Honey" onto the airwaves via Bobby Goldsboro; "Playground in My Mind" via Clint Holmes; and "Puppy Love" once via Paul Anka and again via The Osmonds.
Source: Author ubermom

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