Famous Last Words : II Trivia Quiz

Answer: Sir Thomas Gainsborough

Most people remember Gainsborough for 'The Blue Boy', probably his most famous painting. My art history prof. always asserted that Gainsborough painted young Jonathan Buttall wearing blue to demonstrate that blue could be a foreground colour, rather than a recessive colour. Gainsborough (1727-1788) was born in Sudbury, Suffolk, studied in London, and finally settled in Bath. King George III much preferred Gainsborough's work to that of Sir Joshua Reynolds who was the official court painter (and Gainsborough's chief rival), and commissioned a portrait of himself and his queen by Gainsborough.

Although Gainsborough is best known for his wonderful portraits (the portrait he painted of the actor David Garrick is especially fine), he was also a gifted landscape artist.

He was much influenced by the Dutch School, and even more so by the work of Anthony Van Dyck, court painter to King Charles I (hence the mention of Henrietta Maria). William Hogarth was a contemporary of Gainsborough's (although he was some 30 years older) and is best known for his series called 'The Rake's Progress'.

Answer: King Edward I of England

The last words of Edward I were no doubt said to hearten his army in their ongoing battles with the Scots. He died in 1307 at Burgh-on-Sands in Cumberland, close to the Scottish-English border, as he was on his way to wage war (again) against Robert the Bruce. Edward was an interesting character.

He succeeded his father Henry III in 1272 when he was 33, and spent most of his 35 year reign waging war against the Scots (led by Robert the Bruce), the Welsh (led by Llewellyn ap Gruffydd), and even the English (the English rebels were led by Simon de Monfort). Prior to ascending the throne, Edward had also been a crusader, fighting the Saracens.

Despite all this warlike activity, he managed to father 19 children with two wives - wife number one was Eleanor of Castile (36 years) and his second wife was Marguerite of France (eight years). Only six of the children survived him, and he was succeeded by his son Edward II, who was the first son of a reigning English king to be titled Prince of Wales. Edward I rejoiced in the nicknames 'Longshanks' (he was very tall), and 'Hammer of the Scots' (for obvious reasons), and lived, despite his many battles, to see his 68th year, a ripe old age in his day. Lord Cornwallis, as we all know, was the man who commanded the British troops in the American War of Independence, and lost. Llewellyn the Great was the grandfather of Llewellyn ap Gruffydd, the man who led the Welsh against Edward I, and General Thomas 'Stonewall' Jackson was the Confederate general who was accidentally shot by his own side at the battle of Chancellorsville in 1863.

Answer: James Joyce

My first experience of James Joyce came on my 18th birthday when I was given a copy of his 'Finnegan's Wake' and 'The Key to Finnegan's Wake'. I was somewhat disheartened because the 'Key' is thicker than the novel! Joyce was the initiator of the 'stream of consciousness' school of writing, and not an easy writer to understand. Archimedes' dying words were to the Roman soldier who had been sent to arrest him. 'Wait until I finish this problem,' said Archimedes, so the soldier killed him on the spot.

There's some discussion as to what Napoleon's last words were. They are variously reported as "Mon Dieu! La Nation Francaise. Tete d'armee!" (My God! The French Nation. Head of the army!) and "Josephine!" Methinks the first is the official version, and the latter is the romantic version.

There is no record of Nixon's last words. One can only hope that he said "I apologize to the American people."

Answer: Dylan Thomas

Dylan, of all the choices, was probably the most dedicated drinker, although W.C. was known to bend his elbow regularly. The other two, Dean Martin and Joe E. Lewis built careers portraying lovable drunks, and while neither one was a TeeTotaller, they didn't drink as much as they would have had you believe. My favourite Dylan Thomas quote is the response he gave to the press when asked why he had come to America: "To continue my life-long search for naked women in wet mackintoshes." Dylan was a rascal to the end!

Answer: H.G. Wells

H.G.Wells, who gave us the memorable 'War of the Worlds' and the delightful 'Kipps', obviously didn't want to be fussed over in his last moments. GBS evidently felt the same way, and told the nurse tending him that despite all her efforts he was going to die anyway, and did. Truman Capote's last words were "I'm cold." and George Orwell's last words are not on record.

Answer: Joan Crawford

Ms Crawford's dying words were addressed to her housekeeper who started praying for the actress when it was apparent she was on the verge of leaving this vale of tears. I'm not aware of the dying words of O'Hair, Mencken or Zappa, but since all three were professed atheists, they would probably have resented any pleas to God on their behalf, too.

Answer: Princess Diana

Princess Diana died as the result of injuries suffered when the car in which she was a passenger crashed in Paris. John Jacob Astor IV, the multi-millionaire, was one of the unfortunate passengers drowned on the Titanic, which sank on April 14, 1912. His second wife Madeleine, who was pregnant, escaped in one of the lifeboats, and gave birth to John Jacob Astor V in August of 1912. John Lennon was shot by deranged fan Mark David Chapman.

His last words, not surprisingly, were, "I'm shot." Amelia Earhart disappeared when flying over the Pacific Ocean, and since there was no radio contact, we have no idea what her last words were.

Answer: Vespasian

Roman emperors were generally thought to enter the Pantheon of the Gods when they died. While Caligula, Claudius and Nero were, respectively, assassinated, murdered and a suicide, Vespasian died peacefully in his bed, and his last words were more in the nature of a wry comment on the egocentricities of his predecessors Caligula and Nero. Caligula's last words were the password for the day, given in response to the Chaerea, the Praetorian Guard on duty, who was the first of the assassins to strike a blow. Nero committed suicide, knowing that he would be assassinated otherwise, saying, "What an artist dies in me." Claudius died after eating a dish of mushrooms prepared by his ambitious wife Agrippina, who had her eye on the imperial purple for her boy Nero. We don't what he said. Maybe it was, "These mushrooms taste funny."

Answer: O. Henry

Writer O. Henry was born William Sidney Porter (he later changed the spelling of his middle to Sydney) and took his pen (quite literally!) name when he was incarcerated for embezzlement in the Ohio Penitentiary and began writing short stories to support his daughter. One version of why he chose O.

Henry was advanced by Guy Davenport, who won the O. Henry Award in the 1990s. Davenport theorized that it is a condensation of OHio pENitentiaRY. A somewhat convoluted theory, in my view. Douglas Fairbanks Sr. died saying, "I've never felt better." Thomas Hobbes, who died in 1679, said, "I am about to take my last voyage, a great leap in the dark." The last words of Cecil B. deMille, the great film director, are not on record anywhere that I could find.

Answer: Isadora Duncan

The American dancer Isadora Duncan was quite a character and had a very good opinion of herself. She met her end when the long scarf she was wearing got entangled in the wire wheels of the open car in which she was riding. She expired moments later of a broken neck. (On hearing of the accident, Gertrude Stein commented, "Affectations can be dangerous!") Isadora (who started life as just plain Dora) was the classic Bohemian.

She gave birth to two children, one by theatre designer Gordon Craig, one by Paris Singer, heir to the Singer sewing machine fortune. Both children tragically drowned when they were quite young. Duncan's contributions to the development of modern dance were greatly overshadowed by her ego, her determination to shock anyone and everyone, and her lack of basic common sense! She once suggested to George Bernard Shaw that they should have a child together, a child who would inherit her beauty and his brains. Shaw's dampening response was that the child might inherit his beauty and her brains, and that would not be a good thing! Sarah Bernhardt, the great French actress, died in the arms of her son Maurice (not on stage as she had hoped to die), and he never told anybody what she said at the last. Bonnie Prince Charlie, the romantic hero of legend, was, in real life, no such thing (among other things he was a wife abuser and an alcoholic).

After his inglorious attempt to gain the throne of Scotland (and England) in 1745, he returned to Europe where he died in 1788. There is no record of his dying words. Given the character of Jane Seymour, a conservative, strict, religious woman who died shortly after giving birth to the future Edward VI, her last words were probably of a religious nature.