"South Park" - "Cartman Joins NAMBLA" Quiz

Answer: candy and books on Kama Sutra

Whatever discomfort Cartman might have felt because of the gifts was far outweighed by his excitement at having an "older" friend. He even accepted when Tony offered a backrub! Unfortunately, before Tony could get very far, the FBI showed up and arrested him!

Answer: catch

He and his dad went outside to play a game of catch, and Kenny lobbed the ball right at his father's crotch. Mr. McCormick doubled over in pain, vomiting and groaning on the ground. When they took him to the doctor, it was determined that he had a "shattered left testicle," but they were able to fix it!

Answer: a midget

HungDaddy sent Cartman a message reading, "Hi. I'm eight and a half inches." Cartman was unimpressed, thinking, "This guy's tiny. He must be a dwarf." He responded, "Sorry, I'm not interested in being friends with midgets. Midgets piss me off."

Answer: Mr. Garrison

Cartman arrived at the docks and was surprised to discover Mr. Garrison was his friend from online. Cartman was perfectly willing to "hang out," but Mr. Garrison, having realized his mistake, was trying to make an exit. Before he could get away, though, the FBI showed up and promptly arrested Mr. Garrison. Cartman was enraged, and assumed his friends had had a hand in it: "Why [...] does the FBI keep arresting all my friends? This has to be the work of Stan and Kyle! God, I hate those guys!"

Answer: provolone cheese

Dr. Mephesto was proudly explaining his creation to Kevin: "Do you know what this means, Kevin? No more will the world have to look in two different places for squirrels and provolone cheese." Just then, Cartman arrived, asking Dr. Mephesto to genetically engineer an adult friend for him. Dr. Mephesto explained that genetic engineering had not yet advanced that far. Apparently it's easier to successfully combine an animal with a hunk of cheese than to create an adult human being!

Answer: morning after pills

When he asked where the "morning after abortion pills" were, the pharmacist directed him to a shelf with numerous varieties available. Kenny chose a huge bottle of "Pregnant No More" and showed the pharmacist a forged letter from his mother: "I hereby give my daughter permission to abort her baby. Mother." The pharmacist was satisfied and rang Kenny up.

When Kenny got home, he mixed a drink for his mother and added a bunch of the pills to it, but his mother declined the drink since she was pregnant and couldn't have alcohol. Kenny's dad drank it instead, and quickly started to feel the effects!

Answer: John Denver Experience

Denver, a Colorado native, died tragically in a plane accident. The ride loaded people into an open-top airplane, then crashed them back and forth between two points before coming to a stop upside down in water. Kenny had clearly hoped the trauma would make his mother miscarry, but the only damage sustained by the McCormick's was Mr. McCormick's broken nose!

Answer: Marlon Brando look-alikes

Dr. Mephesto was a member of the North American Marlon Brando Look-Alikes, and they were horrified to hear that the other NAMBLA was meeting in the same hotel at the same time. Evidently, they'd had an ongoing dispute over an internet domain name, and were more than willing to join forces with the FBI to bring down the pedophilic organization.

Answer: Butters

The boys told Cartman that he had to come up with a solution, since he was the one responsible for their predicament. Cartman reasoned, "Those perverts aren't going to rest until they've made love to one of us, right? So... somebody's just gonna have to go out there and, and... take one for the team. And I think, in all fairness, it should be Butters." Butters protested a little, but was ultimately bowled over by Cartman's bullying and headed into the hallway to do his duty. Fortunately, the confused NAMBLA members mistook Mr. McCormick for a young boy and were too busy getting acquainted with him to bother with Butters!

Answer: no

Kyle refused to let go of the fact, "You have sex with children." Stan also chimed in: "You know, we believe in equality for everybody, and tolerance, and all that gay stuff, but dude, [screw] you!"