"South Park" - "Do the Handicapped..." Quiz

Answer: luau

Satan and all the denizens of Hell were singing and dancing and enjoying Luau Sunday. Even the tortured souls seemed to be having a good time!

Answer: Communion

She tried to explain Communion, but the kids were clearly confused:
Sister Anne: "The priest will give you this round cracker, and he will say, 'The Body of Christ,' and then you eat it."
Cartman: "Jesus was made of crackers?"
Sister Anne: "No."
Stan: "But crackers are his body."
Sister Anne: "Yes."
Kenny: "What?!"
Sister Anne: "In the Book of Mark, Jesus distributed bread and said, 'eat this, for it is my body.'"
Cartman: "So we won't go to Hell as long as we eat crackers."
Sister Anne: "Nononono!"
Butters: "Uh well, uh what are we eatin' then?"
Sister Anne: "The Body of Christ!"
Stan: "Nonono, I get it. Jesus wanted us to eat him, but he didn't want us to be cannibals, so he turned himself into crackers, and then told people to eat him."
Sister Anne: "No!"
Stan: "No?"
Butters: "Uh, I can't whistle if I eat too many crackers."
Sister Anne: "Look, all you have to know is that when the priest gives you the cracker, you eat it! Okay?"
Kenny, Stan, Cartman: "O-kay."
Sister Anne: "And then, you will drink a very small amount of wine, for that... is the Blood of Christ."
Cartman: "Aw, come on now, this is just getting silly!"
Sister Anne: "Eric, do you wanna go to Hell?"
Cartman: "No!"
Sister Anne: "Then stop questioning me."

Answer: yes

Chris told Satan that they were all grown men and the three of them should sit down and talk. Satan didn't think it was a good idea, insisting that Saddam was "crazy" but Chris thought Saddam was just playing up his "bad-boy thing" to win dates!

Answer: bomb

Chris seemed pleasantly surprised by what Saddam claimed was a baked potato. Satan rushed up, though, and chucked the gift into the River Styx, warning Chris to be careful. When the bomb exploded (from a safe distance), Saddam tried to excuse himself, saying he "must've overcooked it".

Answer: no

Listening to Cartman go through the laundry list of horrible things he'd done, including peeing in the holy water, Priest Maxi tore through the partition and started strangling Cartman. Before he could do any real damage, Sister Anne knocked on the priest's door to talk to him about the other boys' concern for Timmy.

Answer: yes

Sister Anne took the boys to the priest to get them some reassurance that Timmy would not be sent to Hell simply because his disability prevented him from giving confession. While in the priest's office, Kyle and Ike came in to ask if they'd be going to Hell, and Priest Maxi assured them they would.

The boys were all terrified and recommitted themselves to attending church. Priest Maxi was thrilled with this result, but Sister Anne expressed some reservations about his approach.

Answer: garden hose

After being scared by Priest Maxi, the boys went to Cartman's house, where they set out to baptize Timmy, Kyle, and Ike. The boys stood still while Cartman sprayed them down with the garden hose. Unfortunately, Stan, Cartman and Kenny couldn't keep from swearing, so had to return to church to confess.

Not wanting to leave the baptism incomplete, Cartman hooked the garden hose up to "Wacky Water Weasel," a rotating sprinkler system.

Answer: hit by a bus

The kids were all headed for the church to confess their sins. As they crossed the street, a bus ran through the red light and killed Kenny. The other kids were more disturbed than usual:
Stan: "...Oh my God, they've killed Kenny!"
Butters: "He had sins that he didn't confess!"
Cartman: "And he never took Communion!"
Stan: "He's doomed."
Clyde: "...We've gotta get to that church before we die."
Cartman: "Yeah."

Answer: fornication

When the kids got to the church, they found it locked so they snuck in through a back window. Cartman insisted on being first and pulled open the door on the penitent side of the confession box, finding a woman bent over in the midst of sex. Then Cartman opened the priest's door to find Priest Maxi engaged with the woman from the other side of the box! The woman ran away and the priest, realizing how it looked, fell to his knees to ask God's forgiveness.

The boys realized that they weren't going to find salvation in the sinning priest and resolved to "save Timmy, Kyle, and everyone else in this town from the angry hand of God" themselves!

Answer: Kids Against Hell

Cartman was delivering a blustery sermon in the style of Jonathan Edwards as Stan distributed their material. As horrified parents and a shocked Sister Anne watched on, Cartman announced that he'd lead the kids on the "long road" out of "this town of sin" to "start anew!"