TV's Finest Failures Trivia Quiz

Answer: Jerry Van Dyke

The car, a 1928 Porter, is coveted by a fanatical collector named Captain Manzini (who dresses like he's out to demand the rent from widows and orphans) played by Avery Schreiber.

For the better part of the series, Crabtree is pursued Manzini, who is determined to acquire the automobile. In a running gag typical of the show's writing, Manzini cannot get Crabtree's name right, and calls him things like "Crabapple.

When magazines and websites poll readers for nominations for the worst show of all time, "My Mother the Car" consistently makes the list, and near the top, despite having been off the air for decades.

Answer: A Japanese pop singing duo who spoke no English

Kei and Mie were two women from Japan who formed a duo named Pink Lady. In their native country, they filled stadia with clamoring fans, and so Fred Silverman, a producer at NBC thought they'd be able to bring American viewers to the TV for an hour every week as hosts of a variety show.

He neglected to find out whether they spoke English. When it turned out they didn't, Sliverman was not deterred; he hired stand-up comic Jeff Altman to join them, and do most of the talking, while Kei and Mie supplied a few lines memorized phonetically, plus a song or two learned the same way. Once in a while, they'd sing in Japanese, and the audience got a sense of what Japanese audiences loved so much, but they were less charming when they had no idea what they were saying, and the show fell flatter than one of Jeff Altman's falls into a hot tub, fully clothed in his tux, which was a running joke on the show. Really.

Answer: Police and others of the criminal justice system, who would frequently break out into song

This show was created by Steve Bochco, who previously seemed to have the Midas touch with new shows, so ABC trusted him with this crazy idea, and promoted it so heavily, that most people already had an opinion before the first episode premiered. Much of the music was by Randy Newman, and the performers were talented, and took their work seriously, so if it were at all possible for this idea to work, it would have.

It just was never meant to be, and it lasted 11 episodes.

Answer: "Manimal"

"Manimal" ran from September to December, on NBC. The show follows Dr. Jonathan Chase (Simon MacCorkindale), who could to turn himself into any animal he chose. He used this ability to help the police solve crimes. Excluding the pilot, actor William Conrad intoned the opening narration that reveals Chase's wealthy present life and his early days in Africa with his missionary father.

Special effects being what they were, even though Chase was supposed to be able to transform into anything he wanted, in almost every episode he becomes a hawk or a black panther, probably because they already had the footage.

"Manimal" was supposed to have broad appeal, with lots of political intrigue and adult relationships, but the flood of advance publicity, and there was a deluge of it, emphasized the shape-shifter aspect of the show, making adults assume it was more or less a live-action version of a Saturday morning cartoon, and give it a pass. Kids found it boring, because the plots weren't very interesting, and the shape-shifting was usually confined to a short scene near the end. Aside from that, the advance publicity spots were terrible-- and so was the title-- and the show was already the butt of jokes before the first episode had played.

Answer: Dana Carvey

"The Dana Carvey Show" had somewhat better than average reviews, but a very poor response from viewers, and sponsors go with the viewers. Out of ten planned episodes, only seven got made. It didn't help that Carvey poked mild fun at the advertisers. If he'd been making piles of money for them, then they would have overlooked a lot, but he wasn't, and they didn't.

Answer: False

The late night show, "Jimmy Kimmel! Live!" pulls about 2 and a half million viewers per show, which is considered very good for a late-night show. On the other hand, "The Will" drew a little over four million viewers when it aired during prime time, and that is very poor for a prime time show.

"The Will" was a reality show aired by CBS that lasted only one episode, on Saturday, January 8, 2005. Ten friends and relatives of Arizona multi-millionaire Bill Long competed to inherit his Kansas ranch. To do so, they participated in a series of challenges.

The entire series was actually filmed, and eventually did air on the Fox Reality Network.

Answer: At least one affiliate refused to air the entire pilot, effectively canceling it mid-broadcast.

The show was created by Ed Friendly and George Schlatter, the producers of "Laugh-In," who looked for a way to distinguish it, and tried the fast and choppy cuts, that outdid the pace of "Laugh-in" by miles. Some people actually found the fast cuts disturbing, or even nauseous. Production executive Digby Wolfe described it as a "visual, comedic, sensory assault involving animation, videotape, stop-action film, electronic distortion, [and] computer graphics...."

The (fictitious) backstory was that the show was scripted and edited by a computer, which was why the only soundtrack was from a Moog synthesizer. It had unadorned sets, and was not produced in front of a live audience. It was ill-conceived at every turn.

Answer: Fox

Finola Hughes hosted "Who's Your Daddy." TJ Myers was the first contestant, and she won, although she had never seen her biological father before. It aired in January 2005, to low ratings and criticism from adoption groups. Five other episodes were quickly shelved, although they have since aired on Fox Reality.

Answer: Jackie Gleason

This game show consisted of several celebrities standing in a frame in front of a backdrop, trying to guess what picture they were part of, while Gleason described it. If they guessed correctly, a charitable contribution was made in their name; if not, it was made in Gleason's name. In other words, there were no contestants-- no one for the audience to root for, or identify with. It was a huge mistake. It was like an improv show that had only one idea, which it repeated over and over.

Arthur Treacher was, in fact, one of the celebrity guests on this single episode. The others were Pat Harrington Jr., Pat Carroll, and Jan Sterling.

Answer: "The Star Wars Holiday Special"

"The Star Wars Holiday Special" actually didn't deviate much from the formula for all the holiday, or more usually, Christmas, specials. Someone is hosting a gathering, and the guests are a B-list stars, who do a lot of singing and joke-telling, while waiting for the one guest the host really wants to see to arrive. Usually he's delayed by a snow storm, not by Imperial Stormtroopers, but the plot is still essentially the same.

However, this was "Star Wars," and people expected a lot more, more than what they could get from the Carpenters or Paul Williams, and so were disappointed. Sorely, profoundly, righteously disappointed.

One point that Lucas seemed to miss is that people watch the hokey Christmas specials because they like Christmas: they like hearing the standard Christmas carols sung by TV personalities, and the new songs about familiar experiences. The holiday in "The Star Wars Holiday Special" is a Wookie holiday called "Life Day," a completely made up holiday familiar to no one, and not even part of the original "Star Wars" movie. The audience can't get the warm fuzzies about a made up holiday it never heard of before.

The special is notable, though, for the first appearance of Boba Fett in a cartoon sequence.