The No "Brady Bunch" or "Gilligan's Island" Quiz

Answer: Love in Bloom

Jack Benny (1894-1974) was born Benjamin Kublesky. He worked in just about every entertainment medium, e.g., vaudeville, radio, TV, movies. His "schtick" was playing the violin (badly) and being a miser. A robber confronts Jack and says "Your money or your life".

There is a pause at which the thief says "So?", and Jack replies "I'm thinking...I'm thinking"! His theme song, written by Wally Krauss, was "Love in Bloom" on both his radio show and on television. Jack had a dry wit and, once, when given an award, he responded with "I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either".

Answer: Nelson Riddle

"Riddle me this...Batman! I was going to use Batman's nemeses as the choices, like Nelson Riddler and Rodney Bookworm...but it got too silly. Anyway, while all the choices are composers, it is Nelson Riddle who arranged the "Batman" theme, while it was written by Neal Hefti with its endearing lyrics, i.e., "na na na na na na na na, Batman!" Riddle (1921-1985) was the leader of the Nelson Riddle Orchestra, and his career began in the late 1940s.

He worked for Capitol Records, with all the biggest singers of the era, e.g., Frank Sinatra, Ella Fitzgerald, Nat King Cole, Judy Garland, etc.

In his lifetime he received an Academy Award and three Grammys.

Answer: Funeral March of a Marionette

I can still hear the classic "Funeral March of a Marionette" by Charles Gounod in my head as the wonderful show "Alfred Hitchcock Presents" (1955-1965) began. It was Sunday night at 10 PM when Alfred turned from his silhouette and said "Good Evening". I knew that the best was yet to come - like when Barbara bel Geddes killed her husband and, when the policeman showed up to question her, she served him dinner and he ate the murder weapon! The title of that episode was "Lamb to the Slaughter" - they just don't make 'em like that anymore. "...Bald Mountain" and "Pictures..." are both by Modest Mussorgsky. "Sorcerer's Apprentice was by Paul Dukas. Gounod also wrote "Faust".

Answer: Desi Arnaz

If you picked the obvious answer, you are obviously correct. The theme was written by Eliot Daniel, with lyrics by Harold Adamson. The lyrics were sung on the show only once, by Lucy's husband, Cuban born Desi Arnaz, in Episode No. 60 "Lucy's Last Birthday" which aired on May 11, 1953. For those of you who have never heard the lyrics (you really haven't missed much), they go like this: "I love Lucy and she loves me/We're as happy as two can be./Sometimes we quarrel but then/How we love making up again.

There's more but, frankly, I've had enough. Xavier Cugat was Spanish; Perez Prado was Cuban-Mexican; Trini Lopez was born in Dallas, TX.

Answer: The Fishin' Hole

I think the big clue to the correct answer was in the opening of the show, where they play the theme and show Opie and Andy with a fishing pole going... fishing. The theme was actually whistled on the show, but did you know there were lyrics? "The Fishin' Hole" was written by Darryl (not THAT Darryl!) Worley and Wynn Varble and now here, for perhaps the very first time, are the secret lyrics: "Well now, take down your fishing pole and meet me at the fishing hole./We may not get a bite all day but don't you rush away".

There's much more, but I think you've got the idea by now. This has NOT been a public service announcement!

Answer: Baretta

If you kept "your eye on the sparrow" between 1975 and 1978, you would get a glimpse of Robert Blake playing street-smart undercover detective Tony Baretta. You might also see Tony's pet cockatoo named Fred. "Baretta" was realistic and gritty and patterned after "Toma" about a New Jersey cop. "Toma" was criticized for being too violent and was retooled as "Baretta".

This could be perceived as highly ironic if you are aware of Robert Blake's more recent history - no, not as Mickey in "Our Gang" or even as Perry in "In Cold Blood", but as the prime suspect in the May 2001 killing of Blake's wife, Bonnie Lee Bakeley.

Answer: Richard Rodgers

You all know of Rodgers and Hammerstein; many of you know of Rodgers and Hart; but how many of you knew that Richard Rodgers, on his own, composed the entire score of "Victory at Sea" from the television documentary show of the same name? The World War II documentary ran from October 26, 1952 to May 3, 1953, for the 26 episode series, and Richard Rodgers contributed 12 'themes'.

The "Song of the High Seas", from the soundtrack arranged by Robert Russell Bennett, contains the main theme. To provide you with even a brief resume of Rodger's contributions to the world of music and to the enjoyment of our lives could take years.

Answer: Jerry Goldsmith

This was a tough one...but I couldn't see not including the wonderful theme song from "The Waltons" (1972-1981) in a quiz like this. (Go ahead, it's OK to hum.) Jerry Goldsmith (1929-2004) was a composer and conductor best know for his work in both movies and television.

He composed and conducted four episodes of "The Twilight Zone" from 1959 to 1961, but wait...there's much more. His credits include "Dr. Kildare" (1961-1966), "The Man from U.N.C.L.E" (1964-1968), "The Girl from U.N.C.L.E." (1966 and 1967), "Police Story" (1973-1979), and he was the composer for "Star Trek: The Motion Picture" in 1979 and "Star Trek: TNG" (1987-1994). How do we not know this man better?

Answer: Frasier

If you're still with me, you are going to be rewarded. Not only am I going to provide lyrics to the theme from "Frasier" (1993-2004), but for all you 'Grammer-ians', I am going to explain the lyrics, and tell you that Mel Torme was first picked to sing the tune.

Here goes: "Hey baby, I hear the blues a-callin'/Tossed salad and scrambled eggs/Oh my/Mercy/And maybe I seem a bit confused,/Yeah maybe, but I got you pegged!/Ha Ha Ha Ha!/But I don't know what to do with those tossed salads and scrambled eggs./They're calling again." The items in the title are "mixed-up", just like Frasier's patients, with blues calling; he understands, but here come those problems again.

Answer: Lalo Schifrin

Can you picture the fuse being lit and the music building the tension even more? It was Lalo Schifrin who was responsible for creating this dynamic theme. Schifrin was born in Argentina in 1932 and is a pianist, composer and conductor. He has composed over 100 scores for TV and movies, e.g., "The Theme from Mission Impossible" in 1966, "Mannix" (1967), "Starsky and Hutch" (1975), "Cool Hand Luke" (1967) and "Bullitt" (1968).

He has been nominated for six Academy Awards and has won several Grammys. Williams composed "Olympic Fanfare". Thick wrote "The Facts of Life", and Quincy Jones penned "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air" theme with Will Smith.