Eraserhead
Prolific
Reged: Feb 25 2003
Posts: 1623
Loc: Outer Sydney NSW Australia
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For somebody who's reasonably intelligent, but scatterbrained (we all know at least one):
All the furniture's there, it's just in the wrong rooms.
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Don't hatch all of your eggs in the one basket 'til the chicken hits the fan.
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The_lioness33
Multiloquent
Reged: Feb 25 2006
Posts: 2721
Loc: Adelaide SA Australia
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Got a full 6 pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it together.
Bright as Alaska in December
So dense, light bends around him
If he were any more stupid, he's have to be watered twice a week.
Would be out of their depth in a car-park puddle.
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People are like sausages: it's what's under the skin that counts. So poke them with a fork periodically.
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The_lioness33
Multiloquent
Reged: Feb 25 2006
Posts: 2721
Loc: Adelaide SA Australia
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I'm just come across this one:
As useful as a snooze button on a smoke alarm
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People are like sausages: it's what's under the skin that counts. So poke them with a fork periodically.
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bubbafudd
Explorer
Reged: Apr 29 2009
Posts: 94
Loc: Texas USA
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My dad always said,He's about as useful as a football bat.
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no matter where you go,there you are
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Eraserhead
Prolific
Reged: Feb 25 2003
Posts: 1623
Loc: Outer Sydney NSW Australia
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Quote:
My dad always said,He's about as useful as a football bat.
That's great bubba, it works trans Atlantic AND trans Pacific.
What about:
As useful as an ashtray on a motorcycle.
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Don't hatch all of your eggs in the one basket 'til the chicken hits the fan.
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LadyCaitriona
Multiloquent
Reged: Feb 08 2001
Posts: 3122
Loc: Wards Creek NB Canada
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Hmmm ... a very local saying in my hometown for people who were thick (not necessarily crazy) was "north of seven". It's a bit derogatory, because it very wrongly judges people who live in the small towns north of Highway 7 of being uneducated.
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TonyTheDad
Forum Adept
Reged: Jun 07 2000
Posts: 195
Loc: Upper Marlboro Maryland USA
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He a taco short of a combination plate.
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Lones78
Forum Adept
Reged: Apr 27 2009
Posts: 169
Loc: Forrestfield Western Australia
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Mum always said 'as useless as a hip pocket in a singlet'
but there's also as useless as:
a flyscreen in a submarine; or
an ashtray on a motorbike.
Then there's also the ones for saying that someone is 'not so attractive'...
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Discussion Forum Not-so-Newbie
Quizmaker Hopeful, Quiztaker expert
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Richie15
Explorer
Reged: Jun 06 2007
Posts: 53
Loc: Cardiff Wales UK
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If brains were dynamite, he couldn't blow his nose.
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star_gazer
Participant
Reged: Aug 09 2009
Posts: 9
Loc: Philadelphia Pennsylvania USA
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I work in a Psych Hospital, and the ward that houses the most severe cases is sometimes called "the flight deck".
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yorkshire_boy
Participant
Reged: Jun 23 2009
Posts: 6
Loc: Kaufman Texas USA
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My Grandma always used to use that one, or she would say "he's about as much use as a one-legged man in a butt-kicking competition" (though her language was a little more caustic).
She would also refer to 'crazies' as someone "playing with a head full of broken toys"
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yorkshire_boy
Participant
Reged: Jun 23 2009
Posts: 6
Loc: Kaufman Texas USA
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At school, when we were trying to point out a particularly silly action by someone, we would usually pat them on the head, then point out "if you had one more brain cell in there, it would be lonely"...schoolkids are so kind to each other!
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honeybee4
Explorer
Reged: Jan 30 2007
Posts: 93
Loc: Lemoore
California USA
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As worthless as a teat on a boar hog.
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honeybee4
Explorer
Reged: Jan 30 2007
Posts: 93
Loc: Lemoore
California USA
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When they were handing out brains, he thought they said trains, and he missed his.
If He had brains he wouldn't have enough to blow his nose.
If he had brains he would be dangerous.
If he had brains he would take them out and play with them.
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honeybee4
Explorer
Reged: Jan 30 2007
Posts: 93
Loc: Lemoore
California USA
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Correction..... If his brains were dynamite, he wouldn't have enough to blow his nose.
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MollyGrue
Prolific
Reged: Mar 21 2001
Posts: 1675
Loc: Michigan USA
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The cheese slid off his cracker.
About as bright as a candle in the wind.
Fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down.
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May you be in heaven a half hour before the devil knows you're dead.
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Jakeroo
Forum Adept
Reged: Aug 30 2008
Posts: 179
Loc: Alberta Canada
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strong like bull, smart like tractor
played too much without a helmet
body by God, brain by Mattel
a few clowns short of a circus
dumber than a sack of hammers (don't ask me why, but people say this as if it's one word: "dumbernasackahammers" lol)
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Never rain on someone else's parade. Hope may be the only thing they have left.
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agony
Forum Champion
Reged: Mar 29 2003
Posts: 7931
Loc: Western Canada
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Couldn't pour water out of a boot if the instructions were printed on the heel.
Sharp as the edge of town.
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WesleyCrusher
Enthusiast
Reged: Sep 04 2008
Posts: 327
Loc: Germany
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Among local sci-fi fans: "He's a real neutron star." (i.e.: not bright at all, but very dense)
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FT Hobbies Editor
Guardian of the Tower
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wayman71
Forum Adept
Reged: Jul 23 2008
Posts: 109
Loc: Hamler Ohio USA
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He/she has the personality of a grapefruit.
As fun as watching paint dry.
I'd rather chew glass than.....
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"I only trust two people. One is myself, the other ain't you."
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Englizzie
Explorer
Reged: Oct 13 2009
Posts: 97
Loc: Santa Barbara California USA
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Thick as two short planks.
Uses her head to keep her ears apart.
One egg short of an omelet.
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mountaingoat
Explorer
Reged: Jun 22 2007
Posts: 93
Loc: Blue Mountains NSW Australia
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Jethro Bodine - Strong as an OX and almost as smart.
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agony
Forum Champion
Reged: Mar 29 2003
Posts: 7931
Loc: Western Canada
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Not the sharpest light bulb in the box. This one is perhaps as much a reflection on the person saying it as the one it is said about....
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mountaingoat
Explorer
Reged: Jun 22 2007
Posts: 93
Loc: Blue Mountains NSW Australia
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Saw a beauty today. He is as tough as a woodpeckers lips. Could also say as thick as as well I guess.
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MollyGrue
Prolific
Reged: Mar 21 2001
Posts: 1675
Loc: Michigan USA
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Couldn't find his behind with two hands and a map.
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May you be in heaven a half hour before the devil knows you're dead.
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