Man journal entry: A man should never do this. I tell myself this but I rarely hear what I have to say anymore. I clean and reload my gun. This time I avoid the mud and make my way with three loaded weapons and a cup of coffee. I plant myself strategically in a tree. I have stooped low, very low for sure. Maybe it is the pressure that comes from college, maybe the cold weather has brought this on, or maybe what childhood teachers said is true. Maybe I am crazy. I sit and watch the trap I have set. In minutes my target is in sight. I nail him once and it feels so good I nail him again. The excitement of victory is still in the air when I approach the fence that borders my yard. I watch their dog Max shake off the water from my Super Soaker rifle, and I am soaked in coffee.

Maybe it was the fact I do not drink decaf, maybe a man just hates mutts that stand on the wall or jump down in our yard, but nonetheless it is my territory and I am its master. I don't know how tomorrow will go but it took one week to bring this on, and I hate to hear my voice yell at the neighbor's dog. So, this was it. This was day 1.

I make my way back across the brush with a half empty gun and an empty coffee mug, and a smug smile. I will see what tomorrow brings. It is really in the paws of Max and not my own hands.

Back inside I retrieve my coffee and pet my own dog. "I did this for us", and maybe luring the dog with dog treats was wrong, but as I look at my dog I feel like a war hero returned. A man should never do three things. Those three things are: never lie to a woman for the wrong reason, never cheat unless for money, and never cheat on a woman. I am reminded of this when a female neighbor friend calls. She is young and sweet and happens to be Max's owner.

There are three things a man should never do, but if he does he should have a good reason. So, I acted stunned and amazed as she asked me if I knew if it had rained.

What a great way to meet my new neighbor.

We will see about Max on day 2.

To the late great Dan Fogleberg and his family and friends, his words will echo through the hearts of all his fans, those well rehearsed and those still searching for the song within. Here is just a thought of Dan and some of the songs I liked the most.

 

Friend, it is "Hard To say", but when asked why your music remained I just say that good things just last "Longer". Good songwriters who know their craft make "Magic Every Moment". Only the "Heart May Know" what lies deep within the heart of Dan.A poem for you Dan, you gave us so many:

 

Till tomorrow comes shining through, till "Tullamore Dew", and with the smell of "Sweet Magnolia" I can listen to the words of Dan and never be "Lonely In Love" again. So, as for me and my "Scarecrow Dreams"  I'll climb the "Mountain to the Sea" because "Empty Cages" can't contain me. Most of my life has been but a "Beggers Game". I dream through "Windows and Walls" and ride the tide on the "River of Souls" till this sweet journey ends and I circle back again.

 

Thank you Dan for the songs that now carry my memories and others as well on their back and we relive them again when we listen to a well worn track. I thought of "Auld Lang Syne" differently till I encountered a person from my past. My fathers memories are revisited with the "Leader of The Band". I know your writing and singing somewhere.

 

James

Shattered Illusions

 

The world is round they said as I had not yet gone around the block alone and without my mothers hand. Gravity is what keeps you safely planted here when I had not ever wondered about it quite frankly. I was on more important things such as why I could not run fast enough to catch the butterfly. They do not fly that fast and when I ran in my backyard in my canvas high tops with my Henry Raddigan homemade butterfly catcher IV model I felt like I flew.

 

The light of the stars are light years away they said when I did not understand that the nightly news was being broadcast from halfway around the world. I was not yet old enough to walk to the candy store alone. I thought of these things not in front of a virtual encylopedia full of wonder and glorious mistakes as well. I pondered astronomical units climbing trees. I wondered about the stars when I camped out at night. I thought about life forms when I dug for worms or went fishing.

 

I begans to see the effects of gravity and this greater knowledge they wanted me to learn when I began to see I was failing chemistry and going to dances alone. The dating years. Surely there were strangers among us and they were beautiful.

 

I wonder how it feels today. Hand me downs, we all had them. The name brand was what was bought at the local store to keep your best friends dad in bussiness. Family night was not strange, other families did it. We had game night and Fondu night at our house and played Uno and Monopoly. So gravity is what is keeping us here. So what keeps you tied to your own backyard?

 

 

ASH

P.S.

The Henry Raddigan IV Butterfly cartcher was a homemade product that was quickly replaced. Due to several testings the product was quickly discontinued.

 

So, the debate has been going on for years. Is there or isn't there intelligent life beyond our universe or within? Well I have have put my meager heaping of brains on this thought for quite some time and have gone at it from many angles. Here are some thoughts I stumbled on.

 

Those who study astronomy will tell you that gravity bends light.

When we look out we are seeing the light from the past.

Objects in our rear view mirror are older than they appear.

If we were to find life it is possible it would be from the past,

farther back closer to the big bang, time wise than we are.

So, many intelligent life lies ahead of us as a possibility. But, by

the time they see us it will be a mirage from the past.

 

Just  a thought.

          The Alien Chronicles    

      There are many of our kind arriving here in this world everyday. To acclimate people we here in Blogtoonville will be providing classes designed to help you through this trying process and extended period of homesickness.        

     Alien Bob will be providing the "Dressing to Impress" workshop on Wednesdays at 7:00pm. The Lonely cantina will be providing the space.                                           

     The Garden Club is a new addition to our growing community.  This club meets on the edge of town on saturday afternoons.  Miss Isabell, a human, will be providing us with her vast kowlege of vegetation.  She will guide us through 6 weeks of what we can eat and what we should avoid.  This brings to mind another already growing concern.                                                                      

     Some of our children are killing off local plant life around town and this is causing the humans great distress on the level of trust.  I know it is fun to discover our abilities that are ever changing at an unbelievable rate of speed, but we must use caution.  Also, any children caught using lazer vision to light fires around small childrens feet at school or in public places will be subject to arrest and the parents will be fined!  Earnest Einstein has been selected to be a part of the local police department and has been informed that this rule will be enforced! We would also like to congratulate Einstein on his willingness to volunteer and serve his community. Others are encouraged to do the same.  Stop by the local police department and sign up!                                                                      

There will be a fundraiser for our new elementary school opening on the west side.  Bring your family Saturday at 11:00 am. for fun and games and great southern Bar-B-Que.  There will be face painting, funnel cakes, carmel apples, and plenty booths with exciting events such as mental telepathy, spoon bending, and much more.  The humans and us aliens are all pulling together to make this great fun for all.  Please refrain from "beaming" people out of the audience as happened at the recent fair!  While some were amused there were those that were enticed and upset.  This is a fun occasion and let us keep it safe for all ages.

 

           

 

This here below is a live human abduction, that is me with my back to the camera. We were pretty amazed and bewildered because we had gone fishing! So you can see why we were surprised! Can't really stuff that and hang it on your wall!

 

 

                              

 

Well, that is all from the "Alien Chronicles" for now. The Flying Jalepeno Brothers play nightly till the blogs are gone so please check back....feel free to browse our catlog of songs so you can make requests! As seen here below:

 

1. Where Were You When the Blogs Stoped Turning

2. Abducted By Your Love

3. You Hydrogenated My Life

4. Where'd You Hide The Body (remebering the Roswell incident)

5. I'd Like To Teach The World To Think In Perfect Harmony

6. Lay Low, You Brought Me To My Knees

7. The World Where I Come From

8. Let Me Be Your President

9. E.T. Is Calling Again!

10.Let Me Lead You To Atlantis

And many more!

 

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