Baby Girl received a 'musical' birthday card from a family friend and I thought it a good idea to let her enjoy it outside with me while I hung up some washing. Here is (hopefully!) my downloaded photo of my gorgeous one-year-old angel!

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You suddenly have five million dollars. What one thing about you, or your life, would change?
Being able to finally buy that pool/billiard table for the rumpus room which could double as the platform for that 4000-piece jigsaw puzzle we have.

What is the very first thought in your head when you wake up in the morning?
"I have to feed the girl!"

Who do you seek advice from?
No one - but I get heaps of it anyway.... go figure!

Say one nice thing about the town you live in:
We have a lot of nice trees/parks.

Who would portray you if a movie was made based on your life?
Mary Stuart Masterson (of 'Some Kind of Wonderful', 'Fried Green Tomatoes', 'Bed of Roses' fame (but she'd have to dye her hair dark brown/black and get a really strong tan going!)

Name an album that is good from start to finish:
Coldplay's X&Y - I could listen to it everyday!

What was the last insulting thing somebody said directly about you?
That I'm paranoid.

  

Do you live by the standards written in The Holy Bible?
With all due respect to The Holy Bible, I've only read the Book of Matthew and that was when I was thirteen, but I do try to lead a respectable life, by any standard.

  

Were you popular in high school?
The simple answer would be a 'no', but I wasn't unpopular either.

What's the drawback in living to be 100?
Not all my family/friends will be around to help me celebrate my 60th Wedding Anniversary!

I got this idea from Oprah Winfrey's website where a kindness chain journal is started to diarise kind deeds and in turn make a difference in peoples' lives, thereby creating a positive ripple that may sweep through your world over and over again!

Having said that, me being me, I have gone off on a 'slight' tangent and wondered if my 'circle of friends' would like to be a part of our very own 'Kindness Chain'. Here's what you EACH have to do!

- Get a notebook/exercise book/journal, and start your own 'KINDNESS CHAIN JOURNAL.

- On the inside cover of the journal, write your NAME AND ADDRESS (preferably a post office box number) (and the date you started it) and the following text:

"PLEASE ENTER A BRIEF DESCRIPTION OF YOUR KINDNESS INTO MY 'KINDNESS CHAIN JOURNAL', FOLLOWED BY YOUR NAME, AND PASS IT ON TO THE PERSON TO WHOM YOU SHOWED SOME KINDNESS. THANK YOU FOR MAKING A DIFFERENCE TODAY!"

- When the journal is full, the last person to carry out a deed should RETURN the journal to you (the person who started it).

(I'm sure it would be ok to start more than one journal, but don't forget to write your name and address on the inside cover (and may I also suggest a journal number to keep track of them, or perhaps the date it was started!)

- Start your journal with YOUR kindness. Enter in a description of the kindness you performed. Date it.

- Draw a line underneath your journal entry.

- PASS IT ON to the person for whom you performed that kindness.

- They in turn have to perform a deed/kindness, write a description of the deed (along with their name, etc.), draw a line, and pass it on to their kindness beneficiary.

- Write on the BACK COVER: "Please return this 'KINDNESS CHAIN JOURNAL' to the person whose name is on the front cover. THANK YOU. YOU HAVE MADE A DIFFERENCE TODAY!"

Personally, I am going to gather some friends of mine and start a 'Kindness Chain' group with a meeting e.g. afternoon tea/lunch. I will ask friends to bring their own journal and a plate of some yummy morsel to eat; I may also supply journals made from paper that I can recycle/reuse, and/or buy them!)

This is very exciting. I hope you like the idea and begin your own 'KINDNESS CHAIN' very soon! Love and hugs, Alexis ("X")

Baby Girl's room is STILL being prepared and she's almost 12 months old. Time has really flown. So much attention has been poured into her upbringing and well-being that time has (naturally) slipped away - melted - evaporated - right before our very eyes. Her progress has been awesome and a delight to see each day's new talent. I am so happy where she is concerned.

The past few weeks have been productive and positive in spite of sometimes sitting in a heap of depression which only gets me down more. So I have to push myself to just do things. People give me energy and motivation. It seems that when my son comes to visit or Steve is home, that's when I want to do housework and get busy. I guess it's a comfort thing. Knowing that there's someone else in the house to take the load off, in a sense, and help out with the heavy stuff too!

I believe things get worse before they get better - that's why my house looks like a bomb's hit it because there's just stuff everywhere - stuff that needs sorting through and discarding - I'm so glad we've been commissioned with a new 240 litre recycling bin! It gets collected once a fortnight, and it's ALWAYS FULL by then!

I work in a very unorthodox fashion - doing things with the flow, so to speak. Wherever I find myself in the process, I do something else there - I call this ECONOMISING - I don't like doubling-back - always moving forward - ever onward. Hence, there are always a FEW projects going all at the same time! In this fashion I get a lot done at once. Yes, it does take a little longer, but the results are pleasing.

I've been very brutal with the clean-up and there IS light at the end of the tunnel. I have GOALS! The larger room will become a library/rumpus/games/sewing/projects room! I hope to one day be able to get ourselves a pool table. This may serve as a table also while employing a large piece of wood/ply (we like doing jigsaw puzzles and we have a 4000-piece one of a German church's beautifully painted ceiling!

I didn't sleep at all on Sunday night/Monday morning until about 7am Monday (for 3 hours) - I was a zombie by 9.00pm that night and fell soundly asleep on Steve's lap while he watched the cricket (I think!). Due to my insomnia, I got out of bed and got onto the internet and took a walk onto Oprah Winfrey's website - I had seen an episode on TV that has left me feeling that I just need to do something with my life. As a result, I'm going to start a 'Kindness Chain' with a journal. I got this idea from Oprah's website. (See other post on this topic). The scope is limitless and I keep thinking of ways to improve it. I like doing things for people - it has a lovely way of opening up unpaved horizons. Allowing my soul to venture forth and be free. I love helping people. I hope this takes off and doesn't become another one of those things I am so good at procrastinating about!

OK - I've had a wee break from blogging, the internet, etc. It's been a weird week and a half. Somewhat lovely in some areas, very NOT in others.

My sister rang me early Monday arvo and said she was in mourning, just like that! Of course, I was baffled - it actually took her 30 seconds (it was a long few seconds anyway) to finally tell me why, and I could not believe what she'd just said. "Steve Irwin is dead" - just typing that hurts my chest - Oh My GOD! STEVE IRWIN was dead!!! "He was stabbed in the chest by a stingray barb." Of all the things..... I don't believe it.....

I rush to turn on the tv as I was busy in kitchen cleaning out my pantry. It's planted on the news screens - reporters reporting with disbelief in their voices, and their eyes, and painfully having to compose themselves to relay other news stories..... but it's there, still on the screen, in red - BREAKING NEWS - Steve Irwin Dies

I was in shock! Along with any and everyone else, and oh, so sad...... sad for the ones he loved so much and sad for those who loved him too, almost all 21 million of us Aussies, as well as his international fans! I had to ring my husband immediately.

I still cannot believe it! Just his name sparks excitement, how wonderful he IS, then I remember he's dead, and I'm shattered.

I've set up our tournament page this week in his honour.

I can't believe death. It seems all too surreal to me at the moment. I seem to have a problem dealing with death because it is just so hard to understand. Well, not hard to understand, hard to accept, I guess.

I was like this when my father died (early 2003) - approx. 2 months from the time of finding out he had lung cancer to then be informed of his death. We live in Australia. He was in Malaysia. We're in no way rich. Not that easy to just up and buy a plane ticket. So, we scraped together money for his only son, and his youngest daughter borrowed money from a friend, to take the trip over. Both with issues to deal with hence the need and magnitude for their being there. Two siblings got to see him briefly before having to return to Australia due to their own commitments. He died in hospital, alone. We found out shockingly, by sms!!! We don't have TIME to get together the money to attend his funeral as his family members decide to bury him that very same day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My mother's attempts to organise flowers for her late-ex-husband are to no avail. None of his four children were there! No eulogy, no flowers, no children, no finality! Questions remain unanswered..... does not make it easy to come to terms with it.

We've calmed down a bit now.

But those two gorgeous children! I feel for Terri - but am thankful that she has a great support group behind her and a wonderful legacy to work with. Australia Zoo will go through a slump for a while, but people will come back. I just hope that some positive education about stingrays and their poisonous barbs will be given to prevent this freak accident from happening again.

I also most sincerely hope that the authorities do everything possible to prevent the tape of Steve's final minutes from being publicised. It would be highly disrespectful and very traumatic.

Rest in Peace, Steve. You were very brave. And so full of life. We will all miss your enthusiasm and gusto. Thank you for your heart and soul.

There's a Citreon car ad on tv at the moment where the car transforms into a robot-like model and skates around on an icy lake. It's a cool ad, but not as cool as its predecessor where the 'robot car' dances to a hip tune. I'm so in love with it and wish I could dance like that. Gotta start taking lessons or going to classes. I really need to feed my soul, hence this blog.

I cannot seem to sleep well at the moment. Last night, I was tossing and turning in bed so much I woke my husband after 3am because of it. I was hungry, in pain, desperately wanting to fall asleep. I was too tired to get out of bed to get something to eat and eventually rolled onto my tummy, turned my pillow over and must have finally dozed off into a deep slumber as I awoke to see Steve getting dressed for work. Good timing to give him his birthday card and wee gift. I duly fell back to sleep after hugs goodbye and awoke again at a quarter past ten much to my dismay as I wanted to take my baby girl to the library for a baby-reading session at 11am. Well, needless to say that didn't happen!

I had thought after thought after inconsiderate thought racing through my mind last night: I don't want to go back to work, but have to, at the end of my maternity leave (which ends in October). I don't really want my daughter to have to go to childcare while I go to work, but it's a necessary evil, which will also benefit her socially. I want to play more badminton. Can I work only part time so that I can join the Eastern Ladies Badminton Assoc. and play on Wednesdays as well as Tuesday nights with my other club? I'd like to play at least twice a week. I need to work to save more money if we want to have another child. Plus, our social life seems to have taken a bit of a curbing. Ithink our financial strain is taking its toll on me and I'm feeling a bit trapped. My back is hurting like hell - turning my head to the left kills, and I can't afford to go and get it seen to.

I'm also very worried about my son's well-being. He's having to deal with an issue which is quite serious and I can't do anything about it except be there for moral support at the moment. He's stopped going to counselling, yet the GP has put him on anti-depressants after only seeing him twice for this problem without any prior general history. He has promised me he will get another opinion before starting on these AD pills. I feel that he will be just going from the frying-pan into the fire if he takes the AD path.

I'm angry with different people for different things. My tolerance level has lowered and my husband seems to be getting the brunt of it all. I try not to take it out on him but I don't have anyone else really that I can turn to. Short of spelling every little problem out, I feel like he just doesn't care nor understand what I am going through.

I'm also going through a phase where I feel the awesome need to let everyone in my life who is so very important to me know that I love them so much. Audrey Hepburn said, "I was born with an enormous need for affection, and a terrible need to give it." That's how I feel right now. I love Audrey - she epitomises beauty in all aspects.

The house is a mess from last night's visits, the kitchen sink is full of dishes to be washed, the baby is awaking and I'm still in my bathrobe and needing a shower.

I have to clear this clutter that symbolises my mental well-being. In short, and other than that, I'm fine!

Well, I should have become a mechanic, because I'm having a ball finding different parts that I can take apart to clean!

Today, I removed the knobs and the faceplate and soaked them in 'Napisan' which worked quite well. The 'Napisan' suggestion was made by Kells40 on an earlier post. (Thanks again Kelly!)

I also gave the oven and racks a clean after the last week and a half's cooking feats.

Last night, we had family and friends over to celebrate my son's birthday. My little sister was cooking the pasta and accidentally dropped the strainer into the boiling hot water which splashed onto her, scalding her in several spots. It made me feel so bad as I was just a couple of feet away from her and as I was also doing something, I did not help her with the pot in time before it slipped out of her hands. We quickly ran cold water over her arms, face, etc. The pain was rather unbearable and she kept saying she felt like throwing up, which was probably shock setting in. Aloe vera gel as well as aloe vera plant were employed to help soothe the burns. That was a bit of a dampener on the night, but it could have been much worse as there were a few people in the kitchen and also lucky that her face wasn't splashed much! The part on the arm most affected is the inside of the elbow on the lower arm, which is quite sensitive/tender. Today, the arm is blistered slightly and the chemist has recommended burn-aid cream and covering the arm with a bandage as the blisters have also burst. I feel so bad. I wish it happened to me instead.

It's been a busy week and a half. My house is still in a mess and cluttered and I'm still a slob! My baby girl needs a lot of my attention and the housework can wait. Time with her cannot. And my son needs my attention too. He's going through a tough trot trying to keep above water. He turns 19 tomorrow and I have a lot of cooking/baking to do for a family dinner. So much to do, so little time, and I'm busy blogging here!!!

We celebrated a friend's wedding on the weekend but the few days leading up to it were very busy and 'frazzling' for me. Had to pick my brother up from the airport on Thursday and drop in on my baby sister at work, where we discuss the catering for said friend's wedding. We have lunch at the shopping plaza. It was good. We didn't even fight once! So brother and I go and spend the day with our Granny, then drive to my home to drop off his (very heavy three-ball ten-pin bowling) gear before the long (2.5hour) drive to mum's for a return trip the next day so that she and dad could come to the wedding too! All this with baby in tow. She's such a good girl and spoils us rotten with her nature.

It's a tradition of ours to stop in at an ice-creamery on the way back, which is more than halfway home, but it's a good break anyway. Lunch consisted of pancakes and ice-cream and/or baked potato. The proprietors are selling up - wish we could invest in the business. Anyone got a spare $100,000 to spend? It's cheap at the price! A thriving business, even in winter!

So we get back late Friday arvo, my brother gets a lift to the local bowling alley to have his 10-game training regime, and my baby sister comes over to help make chocolate truffles for the wedding. We give ourselves the first of the truffles we make! We share some bonding moments, and I find out she's still traumatised from when she heard me screaming my lungs out when I was giving birth to my son! I'm allergic to pain, and it wasn't a walk in the park. (We were baby-sitting her that day.) When the truffles are done, she takes Mum and Dad to her place for the weekend.

 

Chocolate Truffles (aka donkey-drops) - don't ask!
1 can condensed milk
1 packet Marie biscuits
2 tablespoons cocoa powder
1 cup shredded coconut

Makes approximately 100 small-medium balls (double the quantity for a family-sized helping!)
Enjoyable on its own, but add liquer to taste, if desired,.

Crush biscuits to desired texture (use a plastic bag and rolling pin, or food processor - it's much faster!)
Add condensed milk and cocoa powder
Mix together until well combined
Mixture should be made up immediately as it becomes hard quickly
Use a teaspoon to scoop mixture and roll into balls - half teaspoon for small balls, whole for medium balls
Roll/Coat gently in coconut placed on a plate
Store in an airtight container (with remaining coconut) or keep in refrigerator
Consume to your heart's desire!

 

Saturday morning arrives with hubby, baby and I rushing around and having to go to the bulk food shop to purchase finger-foods for the wedding party. Then off to the market to get fruits for the fruit platter and party supplies i.e. toothpicks, trays, foil and plastic wrap, etc. We now have foil and plastic to last us four & a half years!! We forget the sauces/dips! And the watermelon, and the grapes!!

I ring up my friend who is preparing the wedding bouquets and she doesn't need me to go over until 5.30pm, and my sis-in-law and her new husband pop in for a visit, so my husband and I wanting to have a game of PuzzleKombat on the X-Box is short-lived, along with my plans to seduce him (he doesn't know this!). We haven't seen them in a while so it's a very pleasant surprise. We welcome them with open arms and have a great arvo together! Aunty enjoys baby girl and Uncle spends time with Daddy on the computer looking at GoogleEarth! They spot their respective houses. Big Brother is out there!

5.30 rolls up and I'm still at home entertaining. I rush off to get the flowers, excusing myself for about an hour or so. I drive the twenty minutes it takes to get there!

I'm so excited about the flowers as they are beautiful and my friend is a genius. It isn't until we were talking about them that I realise that we have yet to arrange to get them to the bride!!! And the wedding is on Sunday, the following day! So I send my friend a text-message and get a favourable response for a drop-off in the morning.

On the way home from my friend the florist's, I nearly drive into the drink on a very dark road after I decided to try the 'back streets' in a place I'd never been before. My mistake! I was doing 90kph on a very dark road and am forced to skid to a halt suddenly as I see it is actually a dead-end road and it takes me about twenty metres before I actually stop. I smell rubber for about ten minutes after that, reminding me that I'm still alive. It was meant to be though, as I had to inform a lady driving a van full of kids to turn on her headlights. Fate? Maybe!

I think I'm running on adrenalin as I'm extremely exhausted from all the driving I've been doing over the past few days, along with lack of sleep, and the excitement of the impending wedding. I've been so busy, I haven't been able to spend time changing the questions on our trivia tournament page. It's still on 'Science' commemorating National Science Week, and that was last week!! I hope my friends like the flowers. I still cannot believe my friend is getting married! But he's all cool, calm and collected and it s***s me to death!

Anyway, I get home to dinner already prepared by my lovely husband while sis-in-law&hubby and our baby girl are gathered in the kitchen which has turned into our entertaining portal. I sit down to continue feeding baby and due to all that adrenalin pumping in my system, I find myself being very clumsy and frazzled, much to everyone else's amusement! It is too late to watch a DVD, and as is always the way, it takes 2.5hrs to say goodbye after our visitors decide it's time to go home!

The wedding day arrives, I rush the flowers to the bride, I meet my husband at my sister's, and we all go off to the city for the wedding. We take heaps of photos, I shed a tear or two, and I give lots of hugs, and we take more photos! We congregate at sister's place again after the wedding ceremony to cook aforesaid finger-foods, cut the fruit, etc. and take to the party. It's a good night, but I do not get home until after 1.00am to my sleeping husband. He did not attend the party as he had to participate in Floorball qualifying finals. (They made the semi-finals.) I give my baby girl her last bottle for the night, not forcing her to finish it. I then go to sleep. Go directly to sleep. I do not pass GO. I do not collect $200-. Enjoy the Truffles!

Friday, 11 Aug 2006 (AEST)

I seem to have embarked on a cleaning task that demands more than a day's work, or even two. Yesterday, I started cleaning the stove/oven/griller with all intentions of finishing the job then. The oven has come up a treat, the stovetop was never a problem, but the GRILLER!! Maaannnnnnn.......! The oven spray is almost empty, and I've abandoned using it to clean the griller anymore as it's quite caustic and I'm sure the headache I so rudely went to bed with last night was due to the fumes.

I liked Kelly's (Kells40) suggestion to use Napisan to clean the racks and will use that method in future, now that I've managed to bring them back to their original shiny state. (Thank you, Kelly!)

I had today sprinkled some bicarb soda powder in the griller and splashed some vinegar onto that (duly finishing what little vinegar I had left). I still have to wipe that all off, by the way.

Serves me right for being so blase about what goes on under the racks/trays.

Aluminium foil will probably be employed regularly to prevent spillage trauma in future!

As I was so very hard at it yesterday, it dawned on me that life is so very much like cleaning the oven! "How so?" I hear you ask. Well...:

- If you make a mess, you have to clean it up. Take responsibility for your actions.

- When you are cleaning up, sometimes it takes longer than you thought. Trying to rectify a problem often seems like an uphill climb but there is the downhill side to consider too - sometimes things get worse before they get better.

- If you don't lay down some foil, you might have more of a mess to clean up than if you did. Prevention is better than cure.

- If you neglect it, it will break down. Look after yourself and your loved ones - unlike a stove, they are not replaceable.

- If you don't keep it clean/maintained, it will not function properly. If you don't have discipline/principles, life will always seem unsteady.

- You can admire it after you've cleaned it. Hard work reaps great rewards!