The excerpt I posted here yesterday was from the beginning of the seventh section of the story, so today I will print the story's actual introduction.  Yes, folks, it is a bionic story.  Not commercially publishable at this time, but there is a small new ray of hope in the negotiations.  Anyhow, here is the beginning.

Legacy

November 1, 2009

Rudy says it won't be much longer. I know he blames himself, but he really shouldn't. Life is like a dice game – unpredictable and full of risks – and Rudy made it possible for me to have an extra turn, an extra shot at the game. I can never thank him enough for that. It was the rarest of opportunities, glittering in my hands like a butterfly – so beautiful and fleeting that you simply know from the outset that one day it must be released. Obviously, I am not a writer but I'm hoping that one day Steve's and my children will seek answers that maybe (if I can pull enough from the old memory banks and from my diaries) these pages can provide for them.

I'm 'only' 60, which some would state firmly is just too young to die nowadays – and certainly too young to think of leaving a legacy – but I died when I was 26 years old, so the thought isn't as terrifying to me as it is to most people. The genius that brought me back and kept me here for another solid 34 years deserves to be noted and lauded for his accomplishments. Perhaps once Steve and I are both gone, Rudy's work will be able to be recognized and appreciated. My goal is to see that this happens, as well as to let Jenna, Adam and Hannah know how very, very much they were loved and hopefully give them a clearer grasp of exactly who their parents were.

I don't want bionics to be seen as the cause of our deaths, but rather as the catalyst that enabled us to go on living, long after our final dice had been tossed.

- - - - -

NaNoWriMo story is up to 8312 words.  Today, I wrote a chapter that made ME cry!  (Most of the story is not quite so dismal, though.)  Here is an excerpt.  (I should add that this is not an autobiography.  It is fiction.)

How do you describe an event so wrenching that it shatters the very core of your soul? And how do you go one step further, putting it into typed-out words, stark in their pain as they glare back at you from the icy display of a computer monitor? Truly life-altering traumas can hit as suddenly and unexpectedly as bombs from an unseen enemy...with equally devastating results. The first time I was hit with such a life bomb, I was only sixteen.

Today...a minor miracle:




(And my NaNoWriMo story is at 4207 words.)

My face is back to normal!  *HUGE sigh of relief!*  Bubba has stopped eying me from the loveseat next to my computer chair and gone back to his favorite sleeping spot.  I slept on and off for the better part of the week, due to the antibiotic and my body fighting off the infection, but have emerged none the worse for wear.  Other than my legs acting a little wonky, all is well.

Rocky has adopted the space under my tiny computer table as his very own.  He practically lives there, like the troll under the bridge.  When Bubba notices the spot is temporarily vacant, he'll sit under there - not sleeping, just grinning triumphantly.  Rocky will return and give me this stricken look to say "Mom....he did it again!" Then he paws and swats at Bubba until he gets a reaction and (eventually) reclaims his spot.  Bubba never really wanted the spot in the first place, just wanted to prove he could take it if he chose to do so.

Rocky is a little disgruntled because I have had to put an end to one of his favorite hobbies.  He loved to close himself in the bathroom - and it was funny at first - until he did it four times in one evening and then I had to get up at 2am to let him out of the bathroom again.  Now there is a big, heavy bottle of dish soap holding the door open.  Mean Mommy, stealing all his fun!

NaNoWriMo starts in just under one hour....and I am so excited!  Couldn't do it last year because I was in the shelter, but I did finish in 2007 and am looking forward to doing it again.  Fifty thousand words in thirty days - here I come!   :)

 

I am feeling a little better today.  Face is still a bit puffy, but doesn't hurt and thankfully hasn't gotten any worse.  (I was really scared.)  The medicine is a high dose of the strongest antibiotic available for this type of infection, and while it has left me rather washed out, it is doing its job.

The Furry Ones have been doing their best to keep me entertained.  Today they have begun charging at each other like two crazed bulls in the same ring.  Usually, one used to pounce and the other was the victim, so this is something new.  They tangle briefly, then both go rolling and skittering across the kitchen floor.  It is hilarious!

Yesterday, I broke another tooth.  It was the tooth that caused all the trouble a couple of months ago - ground zero for that infection I had.  It didn't hurt when it broke, didn't hurt for most of today, but now...my face is starting to swell.  Oh, joy.  Back on the antibiotics and crossing my fingers this won't be a repeat performance!

The Boys are s-l-o-w-l-y moving closer together, with occasional bursts of crankiness from Bubba.  Rocky is so good-natured that he doesn't understand why this big old bully won't play with him!  The area beneath my little computer table (where Rocky is in this picture) is now the prime snoozing spot.  When one leaves, the other almost immediately takes his place.  At the end of the night, Bubba always heads for my bed and waits for me there because he knows it's the one place Rocky will not go.  (Rocky's over-sensitive paws do not like anything squishy, like mattresses, pillows or sofas.)  So bedtime is Bubba's designated Mommy-time.

The other night, I slept for seven hours, straight through.  Tried to remember the last time that happened - and it had to have been over two years ago!  Usually, I've been getting 3 to 4 hours at a stretch, and never more than 5.  The next morning, for the first time in over a week, the kangaroo wasn't kicking me in the stomach!  Made me wonder....

The next night, I slept especially badly and had a lot of pain the entire next day.  Last night....bliss!....six hours straight through.  No pain today!  Sleep IS the magic elixir.  (Who'd have thought it?)  Seven, eight or even nine hours broken into several small bursts of sleep is just not the same as one solid snooze.  Is it healing time, or just an additional stress on the body when I don't get enough?  Still, it's impossible to control the length of time I can remain asleep.  The best I can do is aim for an earlier bedtime and just hope.  Been hitting the hay by 11:30 every night this week.  Will keep you posted.

(edited to add): I have to say that the lack of sleep for the past several years has not been by choice.  Job demands (when I was still working), illness, a nasty landlord, bad environment and more recently, fear of bats have kept my mind and body in overdrive.  The stress level has thankfully decreased and maybe more of those longer healing sleeps will soon follow.

Tonight, Bubba got out of 'his' pirate ship to go and eat.  Rocky doesn't like the inside of the ship, but he went and stood at the ship's doorway so Bubba couldn't go back in.  Bubba sat and stared for a minute, looking all sad, then casually wandered off.  Rocky decided to follow him....and Bubba doubled back, reclaiming the pirate ship!  Rocky doesn't seem to mind; he'd rather play with the flaps on the empty computer box!

I have been battling stomach pain this week.  Not a sick stomach - more like a kangaroo kicked it.  It feels better if I can keep a bit of food in it, but once it starts hurting, eating is not an appealing thought.  Anyhow, Bubba has been staying pretty close to me, following me to bed when I lie down for frequent rests.  He is my old cuddly boy at these times.  Other times... not so much.  The other day, he growled at Rocky and then walked away.  Instead of meekly taking it like he used to do, Rocky followed him - and swatted him!  Of course, he got hit back, but then Rocky hissed!  I was so proud of him for sticking up for himself!

Yesterday, I got the boys a pirate ship/kitty fort.  Bubba adopted it immediately - and didn't want to share:

Last night, for the first time since Rocky came, Bubba jumped up to sleep next to me.  And this morning when I woke up, he was hogging the pillow, just like he used to!  He comes when I call him again and nuzzles, snuggles and purrs.  Still growls very low in his throat when Rocky gets too close, but at least I have my cuddle buddy back!  And he is softening; they'll be friends very soon.

I am starting to feel a bit better, too.  Still achy and stiff, but it's much more bearable.  I found some soft, cozy flannel sheets on sale yesterday, and new warm, comfy pajamas.  Comfort definitely makes a huge difference!

Hi, All!  I am doing a little better today.  Still rather sore, but the toes are not as swollen and I can stand for short periods of time (like to do the dishes or make a meatloaf), if I don't put too much weight on the injured foot.  Took an extra long nap today, which was very restorative.  And I am still sticking pretty much to my chair, but I am not bored.  The boys are keeping me entertained.

Rocky is a wanderer.  He has to inspect every tiny detail of the apartment, over and over again.  He makes one round, then checks in with me for a cuddle and a pat, and then he's off.  His favorite place to sleep?  My tiny shower stall.  Bubba is still being Mr. Grumpypants.  He will finally allow me to hold him again and even nuzzles a little bit - until he sees Rocky and then all bets are off.  He growls at poor Rocky ever time he walks past, even several feet away.  But a few minutes ago, they were nose to nose and there was no growl.  Progress!