Also known here at FunTrivia as temujin2020. =/ He's the first friend I ever made here, and only very recently we had a chat over Yahoo.

It was a nice chat, we had the usual talks about girls and anime and whatever else we used to talk about three/four years ago. I feel comfortable when I'm talking with Geoff, he really sounds interested in what's going on around my life. Sometimes I regret that I don't make too much of a good conversation; he always asks, and I only answer. Those times I feel like I'm not doing much justice to the attention he gives me. =/ I feel like I sound as if I'm... aloof or not interested or whatever.

How do you say this.. I don't ask questions when I think they're too personal they're bordering on [imho] being rude. I don't ask my friends these questions, I make them open up to me.. and then that's the time I start talking. Advice, personal experiences on the subject. Thing with Geoff is, I don't see anything wrong with any of his situations! @_@ I feel pretty[really] bad not sounding interested enough in his affairs. Maybe if we were talking face-to-face I'd feel much better, because I know how my face looks when I'm listening to any one of my closest friends, even though I'm mostly quiet.

Aside from that issue, I'm good with Geoff(though he's not answering to my IM's again... must be busy. :] ). :D He's one of my most trusted friends over the internet. I just wish I could repay him somehow, I feel like I've done nothing for him worth mentioning yet....

That's all. I just wanted to ramble about him. ^.^

Okay, I've already been here a month now.

I'm proud to say that I've finally mustered enough courage to use the microwave in the damn kitchen. I was heating up my breakfast, pancit palabok, since the stove wasn't working. [palabok: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Palabok]

Guess what happened.

The eggs exploded in the microwave!

After I got over being so scared I blinked and laughed at myself for a good thirty minutes. :)) I am such an idiot. But yeah, I'm an idiot who knows how to laugh at myself, if nothing else.

Maybe there's something good for me here in America after all. =P

America is not what I expected it to be.

The Land of Plenty, of the Free.

If it is, why is my mother so distant to me now? Why, if it is the land of the plenty, are we living in a tiny apartment, totally sardined with six [seven, if you count the landlady's son who comes here to sleep sometimes when he finds it too hard to go home to Maryland. He's a doctor, see] people for $500+.

I guess it's the standard starting fate of a Filipino who just came here, and I know I'm not supposed to whine but be actually happy about getting the chance that I'm here. That I can go to college here, have a good job here, have a good future ahead of me; I acknowledge that, but I can't help comparing my present situation to the one I had in the Philippines.

I am stuck here inside the apartment. Back at home I can wake up at 11:00am, take a bath at two in the afternoon and then go out at three and come home at three am. Here it's so different. I can still take a bath at three pm, sure that's pretty easy, but I have nowhere to actually GO after my bath. Not only is it excruciatingly boring, guys, but the loads of free time I have actually makes me more miserable! Imagine, please, what a shock it would be to you when you're used to having a life at home, where you can drink yourself silly at night without the fear of having anyone take advantage of you, howl so loudly and yet not be arrested for public disturbance [I think that's how it works out here...?], or just call the subdivision's security guard for a shot of boracay [or chocolate bomb, as it's more commonly called. A mixture of Rhum, a chocolate drink called Milo, coffee, condensed milk, and ice. If you want to get away with explaining to your parents/guardian about why you came home so late, the Boracay'll cover you up when they finally ask you if you've been drinking. You only smell of Carnation condensed milk, haha, and then you explain that Michael and Win-Win, two of my buddies who're great chefs made you some fancy shake or something]  so he won't rat on us to the Subdivision's president that we've scrapped the 10 o'clock curfew again.

You get here and you're not even allowed on the streets at night. No sir, not even with your own mother. You tell her you want to go out with her anywhere, just to pass the loneliness away, and she looks at you as if you're mad, and then you remember that the crowd in New York at night is different from the crowd at day. AND YOU HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO SLEEP AT 11:30PM, BECAUSE YOU'RE ON A BUDGET. Holy crap and a half, that's quite a shock to someone who's had a life before, online AND IRL.

The people I'm living with are unbearable as well.

I don't know what's hanging around my head, but I feel like there's a giant sign that says, "I'm hopeless" on my back. God, what is wrong with me? I'm quite able to hold up a conversation decently with my closest, oldest friends, but with OLDER people... I just shrink up. They tell me to do what they think is best for me. What do I care about getting rich if I'm not doing it the way I want to? What do they care if I'm scared of blood? I'll get over it, they say. They keep on comparing me to other people, to how succesful Filipinos are here in the medical field. Why can't they understand that I'm not "just another filipino?" In my opinion, those who have turned to the medical field and abandoned their PhD's or Master's Degrees are those who have lost all hope in America. Why do they want me to think that I'm a hopeless case who can't do what she wants and earn money along the way, even before I've begun trying? It's unfair. It makes me want to gnash my teeth, to cry at them to leave me alone. THEY EVEN GOT MY MOTHER TO TRY TO FORCE ME TO TAKE UP NURSING, DAMMIT! ARGH!! WHAT, IS IT TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR A CHANCE TO PROVE MYSELF BEFORE I BEGIN TO THINK I'M A HOPELESS ROMANTIC TO ACTUALLY THINK THAT I'D BE SUCCESSFUL DOING WHAT I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO DO SINCE I WAS A KID?! IS IT REALLY TOO MUCH?

Well, that's peer pressure for you. The old Landlady's not talking to me for not listening to her advice. SHE MADE IT HER PERSONAL CRUSADE TO TURN ME INTO A NURSE, YOU SEE. This is also one of the reasons why I want to move out, but since my mother can't afford anything more, I better wait until.. well. Until I get an SSS number and finally get a job to help her out.

It's so stupid here. Everyone's so money-oriented. I miss my friends at home. The good time we used to have, the on-the-spot plannings for our next escapades. I miss the sense of family. I thought I'd be overjoyed that mom and I are reunited again, but the truth is it's just like before, really. Everytime I think about how mom and I are now, and how much I used to brag to my friends that we shared a special bond with each other, and how envious everyone was because of that, I want to cry. Because it's not true. The closest people I have to a family are the GBYC gang. Mom's barely with me, she's only always at work. Right now she's at Brooklyn, she's staying there for four days. We didn't even celebrate her birthday together. We didn't even celebrate AT ALL. I remember one time I was in Ica's house last year. As usual I was bugging her. Then her whole family went up in an uproar... I forgot what it was about, but everyone was laughing, and so was I. When they still kept laughing and I sombered up, I observed them and asked myself, why wasn't my family like this? I kept quiet, too immersed in my thoughts then, until Noy Diego [Ica's father] was in my face still chuckling and telling me that even though they were poor, this was how a family should be. Couldn't argue with him there. I actually envied Ica then. I wished I was her, to have such a jolly family. She noticed, of course, and smiled at me and asked me if I wanted to go out for a bit of fresh air.

Ica wasn't anything related to me, but she understood me better than anyone in my family ever did.

I miss it there. More than I like being here.

So I'm back. Sorry for the long absence [again]. I haven't had much of a life after third year life.

News:

1. My bf and I broke up over someone who I thought was cute. >.>
2. Said cute guy was a perv or something close to that
3. Bf was the bigger cheater. >.> He now has a four month old baby. Yikes.
4. Currently having this major crush on a friend. Ugh. It's... inconvenient but quite.. likable.
5. I am now in America
6. About to take the CUNY Placement Test.
7. And cramming.

Lemme tackle every topic one by one.

My BF and I broke up over someone who I thought was cute. We both knew that our relationship wasn't really gonna work out, since it was a long distance relationship, but I still feel bad over what I did. Even though I didn't do anything. Except maybe become dangerously attached to the other guy. evidence? Here:

That's just the first pic that set BF off. >.> There are others.

So we broke up. I thought he was a bit disappointed in me. Turns out he was doing some cheating too. :))

Said cute guy was a perv or something close to that.

Yeah, cuz my friend Nash said he tried to do something funny to her when she and her older brother were staying over for the night at his house. Please understand, though last year was the first time that we started sleeping over at friends' houses, we never thought something like this would happen. We were all like a family in the subdivision, brothers and sisters and the occasional couple. This was different. Nash was one of the youngest in our gang. Everyone went on rampage mode when we heard about that.

Particularly me.

Reasons? Nash was particularly special to me--well everybody else was too, but she was one of my first friends there, and I treat her like a little sister most of the time.

No one dreamed that John [the guy that I liked] would have enough gall to do that. We trusted him. He betrayed that trust. It's not something that's easily forgiven.

And like icing on cake, he finally blew it by getting drunk at the party we were all invited to, resulting in... having Angel [another friend, tho not as close to me as Nash is] not wanting to talk to us anymore. You see, we were supposed to have an open forum with her. We couldn't stand her attitude anymore, so it was time to be frank again. Condition: WE STICK TO WHAT SHE'S DONE TO PERSONALLY OFFEND US, AND NOT JUMP TO WHAT THE PERSON SITTING NEXT TO YOU WANTS TO SAY TO HER.

John blew it by telling her everything, without giving us the chance to explain, was too noisy being drunk, and made me so furious I had to resort to using a bike to get away from everyone else. "Everyone else" was worried when I drove away from the scene and came back smiling at everyone and never looking at John.

I wanted to kill him.

Goodbye cute guy. >_<

Though he's made his peace with everyone now. It's already a dead issue, but I don't think everything'll be forgotten.

Bf was the bigger cheater. >.> He now has a four month old baby. Yikes.

Nuff said.

Currently having this major crush on a friend. Ugh. It's... inconvenient but quite.. likable.

I mean, it's been such a long time since I've had a real crush on a girl. :3 I was starting to worry I was turning straight, ahahaha.

Anyway. She knows. I thought she was gonna shy away from me when I told her or something like that [Liezel Velmonte actually said "I don't want to be friends with you anymore because you're a tomboy and you have a crush on me" T^T Boohoo. But we're okay now, that was four years ago. :)) She now uses this fact to ineffictively blackmail me ], but turns out she doesn't mind. The real problem? She teases me too much. AAACH! I dunno what to do, good lord~! Can anyone please tell me how to react when your crush tells you this on Friendster, "So the name of your crush is Riana Camille Untal? Who is she? Is she pretty? OH WAIT, SHE'S ME! :))"

??!?!?!?!

It's really cute and it makes me feel like... I'm melting from the inside or something [aaaaaaaaaaaaaah! sweet heaven. <3 I can die now] but... gah. I get shy now. Eep. *hides*

I forgot how a known crush on a person can both be heartwarming and troublesome. x_x Been too long since I had a crush on any person and confessed. Wait... The only people I confessed to were Ryu, Liezel, Florence, John[if you can count counter-arguing his argument a confession, anyway], and Camille. In that order. Ryu... Well, we were just kids then, so I ran away totally scared when he kissed me. O_O Liezel... told me off, and didn't talk to me for two years, -_-; Florence didn't say anything, but she kept on... iono, doing what camille's doing, only Florence almost made me die of cardiac arrest when during a contest she deliberately slept next to me and held me close cuz she was scared of Bloody Mary coming out of the bathroom. John only succeeded in making me angry enough to admit that I STILL LIKED HIM BUT HELP ME GOD I'LL TRY MY BEST TO FORGET LIKING HIM. :))

So... yeah. Half of my love life [if you can call it that, even] is a fiasco. But it's fun anyway, and I'm all about fun in my life.

I am now in America

Woodside, NY 11377. :))

About to take the CUNY Placement Test.

June 20, 2009, C-Building of LaGuardia Community College.

And cramming.

And about to cram some more.

Forgive me, I'm in a very talkative mood. :P