The Many Adventures of Jayleigh the College Student

September 5, 2006

Amusing and Memorable Quotes

**The trouble with life is there's no background music.

** Never underestimate the power of very stupid people in large groups.

**"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia." -Charles M. Schultz

**Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

**Duct tape is like the force; it has a light side & a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

**It's easy to identify people who can't count to ten. They're in front of you in the supermarket express lane.

**Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.

**Follow your dream! Unless it's the one where you're at work in your underwear during a fire drill.

**Q. What's brown and sticky? A. A stick.

**If Wiley E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme stuff, why didn't he just buy dinner?

**University of Houston receiver, on his football coach: "He treats us like men. He lets us wear earrings."

If anyone has a favorite quote, I'd love to hear it!

How to Write a Term Paper

How to write a term paper

1. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a well lighted place with plenty of freshly sharpened pencils.

2. Read over the assignment carefully, to make certain you understand it.

3. Walk down to the vending machines and buy some coffee to help you concentrate.

4. Stop off at another floor on the way back and visit with your friend from class. If your friend hasn't started the paper yet either, you can both walk to McDonald's and buy a hamburger to help you concentrate. If your friend shows you his paper, typed, double-spaced, and bound in one of those irritating see-thru plastic folders, punch him.

5. When you get back to your room, sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a clean, well lighted place with plenty of freshly sharpened pencils.

6. Read over the assignment again to make absolutely certain you understand it.

7. Check your e-mail; reply to everyone who sent you letters.

8. You know, you haven't written to that kid you met at camp since fourth grade... You'd better write that letter now and get it out of the way so you can concentrate.

9. Go look at yourself in the bathroom mirror and decide how you want to do your hair for the prom (whew! that's a load off my mind!)

10. Listen to one side of your favorite tape and that's it , I mean it, as soon as it's over you are going to start that paper.

11. Listen to the other side.

12. Check your e-mail again.

13. Rearrange all of your CDs into alphabetical order.

14. Phone your friend on the other floor and ask if he's started writing yet. Discuss your paper, classes, next week's big game, food, that girl you liked in third grade, and why giraffes have such long necks.

15. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a clean, well lighted place with plenty of freshly sharpened pencils.

16. Read over the assignment again; roll the words across your tongue; savor its special flavor. Then read them in pig latin. Then try to translate them into Spanish using everything you learned in your Spanish 101 class.

17. Check your e-mail to make sure no-one sent you any urgent messages since the last time you checked.

18. Check the newspaper listings to make sure you aren't missing something truly worthwhile on TV.

NOTE: When you have a paper due in less than 12 hours, anything on TV is truly worthwhile.

19. Catch the last hour of "How to Decorate your Sofa for President's Day" on channel 87.

20. Phone your friend on the third floor to see if he was watching. Discuss the finer points of the plot.

21. Go take a shower to induce brain stimulation.

22. Look through your roommate's book of pictures from home. Ask who everyone is.

23. Sit down and do some serious thinking about your plans for the future.

24. Open your door and check to see if there are any mysterious, trench-coated strangers lurking in the hall.

25. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a clean, well lighted place with plenty of freshly sharpened pencils.

26. Read over the assignment one more time.

27. Check your e-mail.

28. Scoot your chair across the room to the window and watch the sunrise.

29. Lie face down on the floor and moan.

30. Leap up and write the paper.

The Search for the Perfect Guy

First I'd like to say how much I appreciate those of you who posted messages on my blog. If it weren't for y'all, I wouldn't be doing this one now! Okay, now that I have had my first blog posted for about seven hours, I now consider myself an expert at blogging. At this point in my blogging life I am prepared to "blog" into the really deep stuff. Are y'all ready? Here goes. And the subject is... The Search for the Perfect Guy. Well, now I've said it. Sorry if I gave some of y'all a heart attack. :)

You see, across space and time, girls young and old have been searching for him. After searching far and wide, some of us have managed to find success, but a great many of us are still wondering if he will ever appear.

I would like to make a quick mention here about "the search." You know, it's wonderful and a lot of fun to be on the lookout for that special someone, but ladies, let's not allow this search to distract us from the here and now. We need to keep living our lives and be content with what we have. Almost all of us who find ourselves unattatched are waiting for, you know, him. Just remember that it is NEVER too late for that dream guy to come walking into your life! Whether you're 16 or 116 if it's meant to be, it will happen. Whatever you do, don't ever give up hope, ladies! Just keep on praying and hoping!

Now, a few words on my perfect guy! (I already posted this on a chat board, but for those of you who haven't read it, here it is again)

In today's world where men's and women's roles are so often confused or totally switched from how they used to be, I really want a guy who takes the traditional male role: the leader who will work the job, earn the money, and take care of his family, while I watch the kids, fix dinner, and be completely supportive to my husband. I also kind of like the quiet guys. I don't know why but I always have! My perfect guy will also have to have a great sense of humor and be a Christian above all else.

I'd love to hear your thoughts, ladies, on your search for the perfect guy, and for all you guys out there, all of your comments are welcome, as well. I hope y'all enjoy this blog! :)

My first blogging attempt

So, this is what it's like to have a Funtrivia blog. So, let's see, I guess I'm supposed to write about myself. I can't say I really see the point in writing about my life to random people I don't even know, but I'm in the middle of midterms and I needed an outlet for procrastinating. So, for anyone out there in the wide, wide world who's listening, I am a college student working on my bachelor's degree in history. Right now I'm sitting on the floor in my dorm room listening to my Celtic Woman CD. If any of you haven't heard the CD you should listen to the song samples on Amazon. The music is wonderful and just puts me right to sleep! (not that it's boring; it's just relaxing!) Well, now that I've told the whole world my life's great secrets, I think I'll try to be studious now and see if I can ace my midterms. Good-bye, all!