A cowboy appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.
‘Have you ever done anything of particular merit?’  St. Peter asked.
‘Well, I can think of one thing,’ the cowboy offered.
‘On a trip to the Black Hills out in South Dakota, I came upon a gang of bikers, who were threatening a young woman.
I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn’t listen.
So I approached the largest and most heavily tattooed biker and smacked him in his face…
Kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring and threw it on the ground.
I yelled ‘Now back off!!  Or I’ll kick the sh*t out of all of you!’
St. Peter was impressed, ‘When did this happen?
‘Just a couple of minutes ago…’

After having failed his exam in "Logistics and Organization" , a student goes and confronts his lecturer about it.

 

Student: "Sir, do you really understand anything about the subject?"

 

Professor: "Surely I must. Otherwise I would not be a professor!"

 

Student: "Great, well then I would like to ask you a question. If you can give me the correct answer, I will accept my mark as is and go. If you however do

not know the answer, I want you give me an "A" for the exam. "

 

Professor: "Okay, it's a deal. So what is the question?"

 

Student: "What is legal, but not logical, logical, but not legal, and neither logical, nor legal?"

 

Even after some long and hard consideration, the professor cannot give the student an answer, and therefore changes his exam mark into an "A", as

agreed.

 

Afterwards, the professor calls on his best student and asks him the same question.

 

He immediately answers: "Sir, you are 63 years old and married to a 35 year old woman, which is legal, but not logical. Your wife has a 25 year old lover, which is logical, but not legal. The fact that you have given your wife's lover an "A", although he really should have failed, is neither legal, nor logical."

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.

8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.

16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.

18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.

19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive everyone everything..

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time..

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.

35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young..

37. Your children get only one childhood.

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.

41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

42. The best is yet to come.

43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

44. Yield.

45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.

1. Whatever

 

Men: What should we have for dinner?

Women: Whatever..

Men: Why dont we have Mexican?

Women: No not Mexican, the last time i got pimples on my face

Men: Alright, why dont we have Si Chuan cuisine

Women: Yesterday we ate Si Chuan, today too?

Men: Hmm..... I suggest we have seafood

Women: Seafood is not good, I got diarrhoea

Men: Then what do you suggest?

Women : Whatever..

 

 

 

2. Anything

 

Men: So what should we do now?

Women: Anything

Men: How about watching a movie? It's been a long time

Women: Watching movie is no good, it's a waste of time

Men: How about we go for bowling, or some exercises?

Women: Exercise on such a hot day?

Men: Then find a cafe' and have a drink

Women: I am off caffeine

Men: Then what do you suggest?

Women: Anything..

 

 

 

3. You decide

 

Men: Then do we just go home?

Women: You decide

Men: Let's take the bus, I will accompany you

Women: The Bus is dirty and crowded.

Men: Ok we will take a cab

Women: Not worth it... for such a short distance

Men: All right, then we can walk. We can enjoy the weather

Women: I am hungry, can't walk.

Men: Then what do you suggest?

Women: You decide

Men: Let's have dinner first

Women: Whatever...

Men: Eat what?

Women: Anything..

 

True Love Is….Neither Physical Nor Romantic

It was a busy morning, about 8:30, when an elderly gentleman in his 80s arrived to have stitches removed from a wound.

He said he was in a hurry, as he had an appointment at 9:00 am.

I took his vital signs and had him take a seat, knowing it would be over an hour before someone would be able to see him.

I saw him looking at his watch, and decided, since I was not busy with another patient, I would evaluate his wound.

On examination, it was well healed, so I talked to one of the doctors, got the needed supplies to remove his sutures and redress his wound.

While taking care of his wound, I asked him if he had another doctor’s appointment that morning, as he was in such a hurry.

The gentleman told me no, but he needed to go to the nursing home to eat breakfast with his wife.

I inquired about her health; he told me that she had been there for a while and that she was a victim of Alzheimer’s Disease.

As we talked, I asked if she would be upset if he was a bit late.

He replied that she no longer knew who he was, that she had not recognized him in five years now.

I was surprised, and asked him, “And you still go every morning, even though she doesn’t know who you are?”

He smiled as he patted my hand and said, ”She doesn’t know me, but I still know who she is.”

I had to hold back tears as he left. I had goose bumps on my arms and thought, “That is the kind of love I want in my life.”

True love is neither physical nor romantic.

True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, and will not be.

The happiest people don’t necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the best of everything they have.