Yep... I've decided...
I'm gonna try and quit drinking.

As most of you all know, I've always been fond of bourbon.
Problem is, I've been TOO fond of bourbon... and beer... and wine... and you name it.

It's not that I drink all the time... there are days when I go without alcohol completely. But when I do drink, I don't just have one or two, altho that's always the intention. When I drink, I drink till I'm completely obliterated... wholly smashed... or to use a popluar phrase in these parts, drunker than a monkey's uncle (which I have no idea what that means).

It's been bothering Jeff, and, frankly, it's been bother ing me (and not just the next morning). So I'm gonna try and give up the go-juice.

Anyone got any tips that might help keep me on the wagon?

Valerie

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What's another word for Thesaurus?

When you go out Val...you could offer to drive, then you won't be able to drink.

Val, first let me tell you how proud I am of you. If drinking was becoming a problem in your life then your desire to quit is the first step, being able to talk about tells me that you are serious about it. Although I joke around about drinking quite a lot, I drink very seldom in real life. One of things I do when I am out having fun with my friends and I don't feel like drinking, but also don't want to feel left out, is order a fancy drink without the alcohol. I order something like a vigin Pina Colada and the drink looks festive with the cherry and pineapple and it tastes great. I also found like I would feel high just laughing and talking with my friends and sometimes would even forget that I wasn't drinking.

Now when you are at home and don't want to drink, I would suggest going out and buying a special glass. A glass that is beautiful, and one that makes you feel special when you drink out of it. Then pour your favorite non alcohol drink in it and enjoy.

These are just a couple of little tips to help you get started without the feeling of guilt. The more you make non drinking fun, the less of a challenge it will be for you to quit.

I know you can do it. You are an amazingly strong and intelligent woman and I have a feeling that whatever you set you mind to do, you will accomplish your goal, and we will right here to help you all the way.

Hi Val, not sure if you like beer that much but what I like to do during the week is have one beer (The first drink is the best one anyway right) then follow with non-alcoholic beer like O’Douls or Sharps.
BTW, I want to cut down a bit also. Hang in their buddy.

Hi Val, it sounds like you have taken a very positive step by recognizing that you do have a problem.

I've helped a lot of people in my life deal with drinking problems and the one thing that provided them with the most support and the most help was A.A. So, what I did for my friends was to encourage them to go to as many meetings as possible--and, when I could attend with them (at an open meeting) I went with them. I can't go along with you, but I would encourage you to go to a meeting a day--that way you can get to sample a wide range of meetings and see a wide range of people---and that will make it easier for you to find a really sympatico group.

Problem drinking (or alcoholism) isn't determined by how often a person drinks--it's determined by the loss of control once one starts drinking. That's just what you've described--once you start drinking you drink til you're smashed. That's the loss of control. It's the first drink that makes you drunk--so, the point is to avoid that first drink. And you do that one day at a time--or one minute at a time. You make a choice not to drink when the urge hits.I don't think that any of my friends ever lost the urge to drink--they just learned not to act on it.

I really do believe that alcoholism is a disease and not a reflection on one's character. And there should be no stigma about having a drinking problem. But, the only effective treatment for this disease is abstinence--avoiding that first drink. Some people's body chemistry can't handle alcohol--once they take one drink, their body simply craves more.

Realizing that you have lost control over your drinking--and that it's the alcohol that's now doing the controlling is the first step. And you've taken that first step.

The best tip I can give you is to go to A.A. I've seen it work for my friends. They were all very successful people-- their drinking hadn't progressed to the point where their lives were distroyed or anything like that. And they weren't all drinking on a daily basis--one of them only got drunk on weekends. But all of them got drunk each time that they did drink, and it had begun to create problems for them, and it was a cause for concern. Most of them felt physically drained or anxious or irritable or depressed, or rotten a good deal of the time. And I watched these people begin to look better and feel better and just enjoy life more. And I watched them learn to control that impulse to take a drink and to feel better about themselves.

I'm not saying that you are an alcoholic--that is for you to decide. But, I am saying that my friends, with the same sort of drinking behavior you described, did find help, encouragement, and support at
A.A.

Maybe they could have done it without A.A., and A.A. may not be the right solution for everyone. But it sure has a more proven record of success than any other method of dealing with problem drinking. It is a hard problem to tackle, but the support of others who are engaged in the same struggle, does seem to generate great feelings of hope and it does help to strengthen individual motivation to succeed. I have seen that happen to my own friends.

So, the best tip I can give you is to try going to a lot of different meetings to see if A.A. might be the right place for you.

I wish you a lot of luck, Val. You are a very courageous lady to have taken this first step. I am sure you can beat this thing. You are off to a great start.

Val, I mentioned that in real life I rarely drink alcohol. What I failed to mention was the fact that in my twenties, I drank a lot. A hell of a lot. I worked in a casino on the night shift and got off work at two o'clock in the morning. At time disco was really big and I used to go out drinking a dancing almost every single night. My job was going great and I even got a couple of promotions during this phase until I started finding myself calling in sick at work. I knew I had to slow down and get myself together. It took awhile, but I managed to control my drinking. Although I drank heavily, I wasn't an alcoholic. I just didn't have control in my life. My friends and family supported me in my decision and ever since I have been fine and I can go out on the town and then not touch a drink again for days or weeks or months and not think even thinking about it. Val, if you are anything like me, you can do with the support of your husband and friends. I must add the fact that if you feel that you are an alcoholic, I would follow Cheseabelle's advice and go to A.A. Now, I realize that A.A. isn't for everyone because they do preach about God and not everyone believes in God.

I would also like to add that in recent decades, many of those studying alcoholism have come to see it as a disease, rather than as a character flaw or a failure of will. And yet, alcoholism is most often treated through counseling. Joan Mathews Larson and her colleagues at the Health Recovery Center in Minneapolis, Minnesota, discovered a series of nutritional deficiencies in alcoholics, and found that with proper dietary adjustments, they could help almost three-quarters of their patients kick the bottle for good.

The book Seven Weeks to Sobriety is the updated version of the less interestingly titled Alcoholism--The Biochemical Connection, which was published in 1992. You might consider checking this book out.

Thanks for the support all...

I got out a couple of photo albums last night and noticed that in nearly every picture that contained me, I had a drink in my hand. I don't think I'd ever noticed that before.
I told Jeff of my decision last night as well. At first he thought I was joking. I don't think he believed me until it came time to order dinner (we had a family birthday last night... usual tradition... drinks and dinner) and I ordered a Coke.
He says he'll support me in any way he can, even if it means he give up drinking as well... I don't think it will come to that.
I don't think I'm an alcoholic... not yet. But I don't want to become one, thus this preventitive measure. If I had stayed on my previous course, I've no doubt about it...

I want to try and do it without the assistance of AA first...
Should I find I can't, I'll certainly pay them a visit.

Thanks again for all your support.
You all are the best.

Valerie

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What's another word for Thesaurus?

Val, I think the trick is not to see alcohol as something you can't have or something you are being deprived of--in other words not to turn it into a "forbidden fruit". It's easier to give up something when you make a conscious choice not to have it for a positive reason (as well as trying to avoid the negative consequences that go along with having a drink)-- that works with smoking cessation and dieting as well as drinking. You simply choose not to have a drink (as opposed to telling yourself, "I can't have a drink"). And you make that choice every time you pass up an opportunity to have a drink--so you really stop drinking one drink at time. And each one you pass up let's you know you can do it.

One of my close friends couldn't get a grip on his drinking until he began thinking of it like an allergy--to something like shellfish. He realized that if he became allergic to something like lobster, which he loved, he would stop eating it if it caused him to break out in hives and have difficulty breathing. So he began thinking of alcohol as something which provoked a severe allergic reaction in his body. Despite whatever momentary relief or pleasure a drink might give him, he knew that very negative consequences would go along with that. So, each time he had an urge to drink he told himself, "I think I'll pass on this one--It doesn't agree with me, and I can live without it." That mental set was really the thing that helped him give up drinking. He realized that just as he couldn't control his body's reaction to a certain food, he also couldn't control how it reacted to alcohol. So he made the decision to keep himself in control--and avoid problems-- by choosing not to drink each time he felt the urge.
And, he was also doing it one step at a time and one drink at a time. He didn't tell himself he wasn't going to drink for the next month, or the next five years, he just told himself he wasn't going to have this one particular drink. And he managed to tell himself that each time he thought about taking a drink.

That worked for him. Perhaps it might work for you too. It wasn't always easy for him, but the more time passed, and the more drinks he chose to pass up, the easier it got for him. Eventually he stopped thinking so much about even wanting a drink. So the mental obsession faded after a while as he felt more in control.

Whatever works for you is the best approach of all.