We have some members who will be going off to college in the Fall for the very first time. Let's see if we can come up with a list of helpful hints for them from those of us who have already been there.

Some things that I would add to the (excellent) advice given in the following article:

*Don't go home for at least a month after school starts. You need to adjust to the dorm, the classes, the new people, the new experiences, etc. This is from someone who was INCREDIBLY homesick and knows what it's like to be away from home the first time - trust me, I know what I'm suggesting is very difficult. But, it truly is important. You need to be at college without the "security" of mom and dad or old friends or whoever. They're still going to be there. They're still a phone call or email away. They still love you. But, you need to have a bit of a break from them before you run back home. I thought I was going to die that first month, I was so homesick. But, that month of getting acclimated to college helped me tremendously.

*Homesickness is real and it's normal. Everyone will be homesick at some point. I remember the strongest, most capable girl on the floor breaking down the second semester in tears because she was just lonely and wanted to be home for a little while. Some people may not show their homesickness, but they do feel it. Not everyone will be sad for the same reasons. You may miss mom and dad, while the person next door may miss their boyfriend, but everyone will be sad at some point. Just understand that it's ok. And, you will survive it. It gets better, I promise. (And, if anyone needs more homesickness tips, I have some. Just PM me.)

*LIVE IN THE DORM. At least for the first year. Dorm life IS college life. You do not get the same experience of college that someone in an apartment that's not in the middle of things on campus gets. I wouldn't trade my dorm experience (community bathrooms, grumpy roommates, etc!) for anything. I learned a lot and had a blast!

*Have a roommate. You need to live with another person. You need to know what it's like to have to work around another person's schedule. You need to learn how to compromise. You need to learn how to resolve conflicts in an adult way. Roommates can be a pain, but they can also be valuable learning experiences.

*Study. Yes, college is fun. Yes, there are a lot of exciting things that you're going to get to do. But, you must study. And, understand that this is going to require (perhaps) more of a personal committment than you had back in high school. You may have to force yourself to study at times when you don't feel like it. Do it anyway.

*Enjoy college. You're at an exciting time in your life. Make lots of new friends. Get involved in clubs and organizations that you love. Realize that this is a wonderful time period for you and that you're going to miss it one day!

quote:

---

College survival tips from those in the know
By CLAUDIA FELDMAN
Copyright 2002

ON a summer morning at [a local university], students stare bleary-eyed at their textbooks.

Most have one final to go before they can relax until fall, and they have learned -- the hard way -- to study.

They've also learned to go to class, take good notes, turn their backs on electronic distractions and party some -- but not all -- of the time.

As the temperatures rise and the days lengthen, thousands of high school students are donning caps and gowns to graduate, then head for college. [College students] who already have made the leap offer survival tips:

Kevin Aguilar, a UH freshman for two years now, suggests the kids following in his footsteps attend all their classes.

He didn't do that last year, and he made two Fs.

"My parents were upset. `Why?' they asked me. `We thought you were smart.' "

(Of course, intelligence had nothing to do with it. Aguilar wasn't following the rule of thumb offered by Sara Lee and UH's undergraduate advisory office: For every hour of credit, spend two hours studying outside of class per week. If a course is worth three credits, that calls for six hours of studying per week.)

Adetunji Adesida, 20, suggests college kids learn to cook. He does, and he not only saves money on fast food and restaurants, but he also enjoys the delicacies from his homeland, Nigeria.

Those not as skilled as Adesida can fall back on microwave popcorn, Ramen noodles, mac and cheese, and peanut butter.

Leave the X-Boxes and Nintendo games at home, says Darshan Amin, 18, studying pre-calculus with Joe Than, 19. Than looks like he's snoozing, but he's not.

"Get enough sleep," he counsels, slowly raising his head from the table.

That's at least eight hours of sleep a night, according to the National Sleep Foundation.

Off-campus, the advice ranges from the practical to the philosophical.

Restaurateur Gary Adair suggests college-bound kids treat their school days like work days. He admits he didn't try that approach when he was in college, but he had a buddy who did.

"He'd get to school every single day at 8 a.m. whether he had an early class or not. He'd study all morning, have lunch with us about 2, and when we went home to mess around, he'd go back to his studies. We'd start cramming for tests about 6 or 7 at night, but ol' Steve already had it all down."

Bottom line, says Adair: "Set up a general routine day-to-day and learn to be responsible for yourself in the face of all distractions. Set aside from 2 to 5 to study, and do not take a nap. Do not go to the lake."

John Vincent, a dad and a psychologist, suggests high school grads remember everything they learned in kindergarten and keep refining the information.

(Share everything. Play fair. Don't hit people. Put things back where you found them. Clean up your own mess. Don't take things that aren't yours. Say you are sorry when you hurt somebody. Wash your hands before you eat. Take a nap every afternoon. When you go out in the world, watch for traffic, hold hands and stick together.)

Also, Vincent tells teens: Find your passion and follow it, even if key adults are trying to steer you in other directions.

And, he says, learn to use tools: screw drivers. Hammers. Computers. Needles for sewing on buttons and jacks for changing tires.

And washing machines. Psychologist Mary Burnside says she taught her college-age son how to sort laundry by colors (whites in one load, colors in another), and he was one of the few kids in his dorm without pink underwear.

Burnside also tried to teach him that the academics were going to be really hard, homesickness creates a very real pain, and that life in a co-ed dorm might be a bit awkward at first.

Buy a bathrobe, she told him, and don't try to make sparkling conversation with the cute girl down the hall when she's on her way to the bathroom or trying to wake up over a bowl of Cheerios.

"That first week, month or year is really really hard. A few are born lucky and slip right in. But for most, it's a struggle."

Rick Ramirez with the Better Business Bureau Education Foundation cautions kids to be careful with their money. Too many college students, he says, graduate $15,000 to $20,000 in debt, not counting their school loans.

To avoid financial disaster, Ramirez suggests students treat credit cards with caution. "Make sure you can pay at least the minimum amount on the bill every month," he says. Even better would be to pay double the minimum or, best yet, the whole bill.

Students toting checkbooks should make sure to record each check and balance the accounts regularly.

"Bounced checks are disasters," Ramirez says. After fines and fees, he says, a $20 bounced check can cost $80 or more.

Dee Murray with the Council on Alcohol and Drugs, Houston, offers suggestions to kids trying to avoid illegal temptations: Make friends who don't indulge. Find other, better things to do. Remember where you are and where you're trying to go.

Also, know that those dire parental warnings were actually true. According to the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, 1,400 college students ages 18 to 24 die each year from alcohol-related unintentional injuries, 500,000 are injured and 25 percent get in trouble academically.

Ryan Holder, manager of the downtown [liquor store], adds his two cents: "The drinking age is 21. Come see us then. There will be plenty left."

---

[ May 22, 2002, 10:19 AM: Message edited by: Linda1 ]

Bringing this up, as we have some people going away from home for the first time. Thought some of our members might have some additional advice.