An American tourist in the UK has posted some observations of the Old Dart on Facebook. He seems quite fond of the place (for the most part). Here are his thoughts:

• Almost everyone is very polite
• The food is generally outstanding
• There are no guns
• There are too many narrow stairs
• Everything is just a little bit different
• The pubs close too early
• The reason they drive on the left is because all their cars are built backwards
• Pubs are not bars, they are community living rooms.
• You’d better like peas, potatoes and sausage
• Refrigerators and washing machines are very small
• Everything is generally older, smaller and shorter
• People don’t seem to be afraid of their neighbours or the government
• Their paper money makes sense, the coins don’t
• Everyone has a washing machine but driers are rare
• Hot and cold water faucets. Remember them?
• Pants are called “trousers”, underwear are “pants” and sweaters are “jumpers”
• The bathroom light is a string hanging from the ceiling
• All the signs are well designed with beautiful typography and written in full sentences with proper grammar.
• There’s no dress code
• Doors close by themselves, but they don’t always open
• They eat with their forks upside down
• The English are as crazy about their gardens as Americans are about cars
• They don’t seem to use facecloths or napkins (serviettes) or maybe they’re just less messy than we are
• The wall outlets all have switches, some don’t do anything
• There are hardly any cops or police cars
• 5000 year ago, someone arranged a lot of rocks all over, but no one is sure why (a reference to Stonehenge)
• When you do see police they seem to be in male and female pairs and often smiling
• They didn’t quite do slavery here
• Everything comes with chips, which are French Fries. You put vinegar on them
• Cookies are “biscuits” and potato chips are “crisps”
• HP sauce is better then catsup (ketchup a.k.a tomato sauce)
• Obama is considered a hero, Bush is considered an idiot.
• After fish and chips, curry is the most popular food
• The water controls in showers need detailed instructions
• They can boil anything
• Folks don’t always lock their bikes
• It’s not unusual to see people dressed different and speaking different languages
• Your electronic devices will work fine with just a plug adaptor
• Nearly everyone is better educated then we are
• If someone buys you a drink you must do the same
• There are no guns
• Look right, walk left. Again; look right, walk left. You’re welcome.
• Avoid British wine and French beer
• It’s not that hard to eat with the fork in your left hand with a little practice. If you don’t, everyone knows you’re an American
• Many of the roads are the size of our sidewalks
• There’s no AC
• Instead of turning the heat up, you put on a jumper
• Gas is “petrol”, it costs about $6 a gallon and is sold by the litre
• If you speed on a motorway, you get a ticket. Period. Always
• You don’t have to tip, really!
• Scotland, Wales, Ireland and Cornwall really are different countries
• Only 14 per cent of Americans have a passport, almost everyone in the UK does
• You pay the price marked on products because the taxes (VAT) are built in
• Walking is the national pastime
• Their TV looks and sounds much better then ours
• They took the street signs down during WWII, but haven’t put them all back up yet
• Everyone enjoys a good joke
• There are no guns
• Dogs are very well behaved and welcome everywhere
• There are no window screens
• You can get on a bus and end up in Paris
• Everyone knows more about our history then we do
• Radio is still a big deal. The BBC is quite good
• The newspapers can be awful
• Everything costs the same but our money is worth less so you have to add 50 per cent to the price to figure what you’re paying
• Beer comes in large, completely filled, actual pint glasses and the closer the brewery the better the beer
• Butter and eggs aren’t refrigerated
• The beer isn’t warm, each style is served at the proper temperature
• Cider (alcoholic) is quite good.
• Excess cider consumption can be very painful.
• The universal greeting is “Cheers” (pronounced “cheeahz” unless you are from Cornwall, in which case it’s “chairz”)
• The money is easy to understand: 1-2-5-10-20-50 pence, £1-£2 coins and £5-£10, etc bills.
• There are no quarters.
• Their cash makes ours look like Monopoly money
• Cars don’t have bumper stickers
• Many doorknobs, buildings and tools are older than America
• By law, there are no crappy, old cars
• When the sign says something was built in 456, they didn’t lose the “1”
• Cake is pudding, ice cream is pudding, anything served for desert is pudding, even pudding
• BBC 4 is NPR (an American news station)
• Everything closes by 1800 (6pm.)
• Very few people smoke, those who do often roll their own
• You’re defined by your accent
• No one in Cornwall knows what the hell a Cornish Game Hen is
• Football is a religion, religion is a sport
• Europeans dress better then the British, we dress worse
• The trains work: a three minute delay is regrettable
• Drinks don’t come with ice
• There are far fewer fat English people
• There are a lot of healthy old folks around participating in life instead of hiding at home watching TV
• If you’re over 60, you get free TV and bus and rail passes.
• They don’t use Bose anything anywhere
• Displaying your political or religious affiliation is considered very bad taste
• Every pub has a pet drunk
• Their healthcare works, but they still moan about it
• Cake is one of the major food groups
• Their coffee is mediocre but the tea is wonderful
• There are still no guns
• Towel warmers!
• Cheers.

Original story: http://www.news.com.au/travel/world-trav...r-1227560143070

You learn something every day - I didn't know the 'Old Dart' was an Australian term for England.

Thanks for posting this list. I wonder when it (or some of it) was originally written and whether it was all compiled by the same person.

I'm a bit puzzled by some of the statements - and I mean that in the plain, literal sense. Here are a couple of examples:

"Their paper money makes sense, the coins don’t".
(Compare with: "The money is easy to understand: 1-2-5-10-20-50 pence, £1-£2 coins and £5-£10, etc bills").

"Everything closes by 1800 (6pm.)"

"Butter and eggs aren’t refrigerated".

I'm tickled by:

"Displaying your political or religious affiliation is considered very bad taste".

Funny list. My favorite was "all their cars are built backwards."

I'm not sure it's used much these days, but people of my vintage would know what it means even if they don't use the term. I had heard quite a few years ago that it came from the Dart River being the origin of many of the transport ships which brought people (willingly or otherwise) to Oz. I've just looked it up though and the origin isn't definitive, as per this page:
http://www.worldwidewords.org/qa/qa-old1.htm

I saw part of the list on another site, people were getting very worked up about it and taking offence left right and centre - I'm not sure how these people have the intelligence to sign in to a computer. To me, it came across as very affectionate.

"They took the street signs down during WWII, but haven’t put them all back up yet"

Brings back memories of a trip the Guernsey (Channel Islands) in the 1980s. It's a good job it's a small island.

This was too funny (except for the frequent misuse of then for than.) I especially liked the comments that pubs are just community living rooms and every one has a resident drunk!

I agree, the money quotes don't seem to make sense together.

In New York, and many other cities, bars/pubs/clubs are regularly open until 4 or 5 a.m.

Butter and eggs are almost always refrigerated in the U.S., both at home and in the grocery store.

My favorite is "The reason they drive on the left is because all their cars are built backwards"

The money thing makes sense if you assume that he's referring to coin size... notes not only have different colours but they also go up in size as the value increases whereas coins seem to be any old size.

The list was written by one person, Bloomsby, but it does seem to have been edited slightly before Tizz got hold of it - the early versions said "Black people are just people; they didn’t quite do slavery here".

And I wish someone would give me a free rail pass, but maybe that's just being greedy.

I agree with Sal, I thought it was affectionate. It reminded me of Bill Bryson's Notes from a Small Island - not 100% accurate, not in depth probing, but the sort of thing a friend would say before the killer blow "your cars are built backwards" haha!

Winks@flopsy ...

Yes, the list is affectionate. I agree with you and sal, and I can't see why some people got aerated - is that word used in American English?* - about the list on another site.

Free bus passes for the over 60s, yes, no free rail passes. As for free TV licenses, they are only for people aged 75+, so even Ole Bloomsby doesn't yet qualify.


_____________

*Just in case it isn't understood outside Britain, is means worked up (usually quite badly), hot and bothered.

I agree that it is sounding, in the main, affectionate. I am a Brit so maybe there are some negative things about British people that a nice kind American won't say.
Every time I go back to UK I hear a lot of complaining and the there might be a bit of truth in the phrase "Whingeing Pom"
"It's too hot/cold/wet/ humid/expensive, noisy, crowded/quiet/far/ etc, etc"
I rarely hear positive.
Here, however, people expect bad weather and put up with it, in fact in many situations the attitude is just live with it ,you cant change it.
Not so much in my much loved homeland!

I found it very humorous and somewhat enlightening. I have always ate with a fork in my left hand so I should get along fine.

Ah, but do you hold onto your knife at all times whilst eating your meal and use your fork curving downwards?

I spent most of my life mystified about why Americans do that - and they are the only nation that does (although many Canadians are bilingual in fork as well as spelling). Cut up the food, put knife down, switch fork to right hand, eat much colder food. So I turned to AskFT and Looney-Tunes supplied the reason. Of course, I've forgotten what it is now but it's still odd!

No issue for American lefties--we always hold the fork in our left hand!

Thread has not been added to for some time, but must say I LOVED that list, beautifully "tongue in cheek" observation of us! Why would anyone take offence? To do so shows very little of sense of humour, after all if you cannot stand having fun poked at you, then you have no right to poke fun at others.

"Slavery"..........some of our ancestors go VERY rich, VERY quickly, exporting said commodity to you people over the pond......but slavery itself was abolished in 1833.