1. Snip conifer in front garden.
2. Snip three more evergreen shrubs.
3. Eat mince pie.
4. Bind conifer to frame with florist wire.
5. Eat mince pie.
6. Bind extra greenery with more wire.
7. Remember you forgot to add lights after conifer but before evergreens.
9. Eat mince pie
10. Tuck lights in, wire through greenery, get halfway, go to bed.
11. Get up.
12. Remember wreath, curse.
13. Add ornaments, wire round previous wire, curse.
14. Eat mince pie.
15. Hunt for roll of ribbon.
16. Curse, curse, curse... find it!
17. Staple ribbon.
18. Remember how useless you are at tying fancy bows, curse.
19. Eat mince pie.
20. Fetch stepladder, hold wreath in front of door, reach over and round back of door, attach ribbon to last year's hook.
21. Celebrate last year's failure to remove hook with mince pie.
22. Add M. Pierrot. Bon Noel, M. Pierrot, ça va?"
23. Add batteries to lights, test. They work!
24. Reach for mince pie to celebrate. Curse, they've disappeared!