We've all been inside our local airports, either to see off or welcome visiting friends and family or to jump on a plane and go somewhere ourselves. So it probably won't surprise you that, over the years, airport security have found plenty of crazy, and sometimes dangerous, things hidden in people's luggage.

I probably caused some amusement years ago when stopped by Customs.

It was shortly after I moved to Jersey. I had my car shipped over and flew myself so as you can imagine I filled my car with all manner of things, including a car tyre given to me by a friend who had changed from crossply to radial tyres and knew that I still had crossply. When the car arrived I looked at the tyre and realised that she had given me the wrong one, it was a radial tyre and of no use to me, but would be to her. A few weeks later I was flying back to England for the weekend so put the tyre in a suitcase which I had borrowed for my move and put all my clothes etc in my weekend case.

I reached Customs in Southampton and casually swung the suitcase up onto the table and then heaved my weekend case up. The Customs officer asked what I had in the suitcase so I innocently replied "A spare tyre". He looked a bit stunned so I explained and offered to open it. He just said not to bother, that the story was so weird it just had to be true!

In Australia in 2005, Customs officers at Melbourne Airport became suspicious about unusual "flipping" sounds coming from under the skirt of a woman who'd just got off a flight from Singapore. Closer inspection revealed the woman was wearing a special apron carrying small plastic bags containing a total of 51 tropical fish.

I watch the Border Control type television programmes and find is somewhat surprising what people carry in, particularly when entering Australia. Do people not realise that food is available in Australia?

On one 'Border Security' episode, a Chinese woman entering Australia was found to have at least half a dozen bags of food in her suitcase. Her reaction to having her luggage searched was something Customs officers had never seen before. She was screaming, crying and acting like a two-year-old, and a language barrier didn't make things easier. Since this lady couldn't speak English, she didn't understand that she should have declared the food she had and, because she didn't declare it, all the food had to go in the bin. Fortunately, her husband had a basic understanding of English and was able to explain to his wife why they couldn't keep the food. They also had to pay quite a large fine for bringing undeclared food into the country.

Some years ago there was a case (locally) where an elderly man (75+) turned up at the airport with a couple of sporting guns in his luggage. He said he'd simply forgotten to empty his suitcase before packing, but he ended up in jail.

In 2010 at Bangkok International Airport, Thailand, a woman was stopped from boarding a plane to Iran when Customs officers became suspicious of her extra-large suitcase. They were in for a surprise when they finally got the chance to open it. Inside, lying beside a stuffed toy tiger was a REAL one! To keep it still and quiet, the 2-month-old cub had been heavily sedated. At first, the woman claimed the suitcase wasn't hers, but eventually admitted that, if she hadn't been caught, she would have sold the cub on the Iranian black market.

Not sure if the woman was fined or went to prison, but, for the tiger at least, the story has a happy ending: the cub was sent to a wildlife park where it can be properly cared for.

I can recall an occasion before flying to Greece when a woman in her 30s/early 40s was acutely embarrassed after her collection of 'adult entertainment' items was brandished in front of everybody else in the queue waiting to have their baggage inspected...

Had to laugh... LOUDLY!

What a great story. I've been telling that story all week, to anyone who would listen.
All of them said what the Customs Office said!

Watching those 'Border Security' shows, it seems to me that Asian travellers in particular think that because the food they've got in their luggage is traditional and home-made, they'll be allowed to bring it into Australia. The truth is, by Australian law, EVERYTHING that travellers bring into Australia from another country must be declared.