I haven't been in this part of the forums before but it is awesome. I think there is probably someone in here that can help me with a problem that is driving me insane. Does anyone know how to put a baby to sleep? I say baby but my son is 20 months old and can not put himself to sleep. I'm not wanting to turn this thread into a baby zone but I am desperate and knowing how helpful funtrivia fans are I will give it a go. I have tried everything I know of to make my baby go to sleep by himself and nothing works. He needs to go to sleep in my arms and that means that if he wakes up in the night (and he does) I need to get up to help him back to sleep and this can take ages. If no one can help me please give me a link to someone that can because it is actually affecting me financially as I can't work having been up all night. Again it may not be appropriate for this section but I really need help.

My goodness! I'm #1 responder? My babies are all grown up! One's 31 and one's 18..and they still cause me all kinds of grief! Must say...tire that baby out! NO NAPS!....up and active all day....good food....not much sugars...fresh air....exercise! Put your time in early! When evening comes....guaranteed! Honest! Won't wake up, either! That's all I can say!

How does your baby's day look? Give us a timetable.

How did this start? Is it something new?

Well, Andrew, gets up at various times in the morning between 7am and 9am (depending on when and how long he has been up during the night). I try to give him his breakfast at 9am regardless of what time he gets up in a attempt to give him some kind of regularity. He is then changed and dressed and I play with him for a while before I try to get on with my daily tasks. He doesn't like me getting on with things but I try my best to be firm on this issue. He then has a nap of an hour about four hours after he gets up. It has to be said though that, and I think this is the major problem, that he does not go down for his nap awake in his cot. He needs to fall asleep in my arms. I have tried in vain to get him to put himself asleep both for his nap and his bed time. He will go down for anyone though so that is a blessing at least. When he wakes up from his nap he then has his lunch. We then go out and about, weather permitting. Again if the weather is OK, bearing in mind I live in Ireland, he then goes out into the garden to play for a while. He then returns indoors and plays until 7pm when he has his supper. If possible I then take him for a walk outdoors for about half an hour before taking him home and starting his bedtime routine. This consists of a bath, play and then his bedtime bottle of milk, when he wants it! He is usually in bed by 9.30pm but again needs to fall asleep before he goes down. He will then sleep until about 4am before waking up and looking for a drink, again in my arms. If I do not go to him he will cry until I do. I used to let him cry himself back to sleep, after about 10 mins, and this got me a full nights sleep for about 2 months. Then he started waking again and when he did he would not go back to sleep without being picked up. He generally only wakes up once per night but stays up for anything from an hour to Three!!! He also drinks a lot of juice in the day which would explain the sugar thing. It's always reduced sugar and watered down but fruit juice by it's very nature contains a certain amount of sugar naturally. I agree with the excercise and fresh air thing but am at a loss as to how I can give him any more than I am already giving him what with weather etc. I feel the main problem is that he cannot get himself to sleep once he has woken up. I don't know. I would appreciate any advice on the subject and rest assured I wont take any advice as a critisism. Tell me my mistakes, I won't take it personally. I just want advice and help and won't take anything as medical advice or anything silly like that. Total disclaimer and all that. I hope this is not an inappropriate topic for this forum of anything. I value the opinions of everyone at Funtrivia having read so many posts. I have gone on so long. Sorry I'll shut up now. Thanks for the advice and interest so far.

Good grief! 9.30pm bedtime? I thought all babies went to bed before 7pm.

The first thing that springs to mind is that morning nap, yes most babies need a nap but will fall asleep ANYWHERE if they are really tired, I never put either of mine down for a sleep during the day after a while, they literally slept where they dropped and I have photos to prove it you had to be careful not to tread on one.

7pm sounds very late for a baby's meal, all the children I have known have had their last meal at about 5pm, then a play followed by a bath and then bed.

It's all so hard to tell, but from a person who raised two kids who are not big sleepers but who both eventually found their rhythms, I can tell you that they do eventually find their own rhythm.
One thing you said that is very important and in fact the most useful book I read I'll try and get you the title used this concept, is the kid finding his or her own rhythm.
My daughter was definitely not a sleeper, from day one she couldn't go for more than two hours without waking...I was working quite early, without much sleep so I feel for you.
What I also didn't appreciate was people, especially my in laws making cracks about how the other grandchildren went to sleep at such and such an hour, or did this or that, I finally answered that I wouldn't be visiting them then as I took transatlantic flights and really messed up their schedules!
So try not to feel as though you're a failure just because your child isn't like clockwork.
People bragging on their kids sleeping six hour stretches is hard to hear when you haven't slept.
We tried that letting them cry thing with my daughter, it was excruciating, really, she cried for an hour! So I gave up on it...I timed her and it took an hour the first day, then a half hour or so, then fifteen minutes, then eventually she did settle down and then another trip and all that work was for nothing!

Two years old is the time when you can speak to them though, and I'd do that routine bit that some people advocate, Goodnight Moon? It didn't work for my one child but did for the other.
You start up a routine, and pray that they won't increase the rituals!
A child realizes his own competency around then, so it's not going to be much longer...
Another thing I found really clinched their sleep patterns is letting them "read" a book on their own. After all, it works for me, so why not them?
I let them read there, if they popped their little heads out, I'd say, "nope, you've got your book, the light's on for a little longer, good night."

The calmer you are about this whole thing the calmer he'll be.
Just like potty training, (can never recall what you call it in the UK). The more I entered into my daughter's game, the worse it got. I was traveling with her two so if she did insist, she'd make me miss a bus, and that's kind of a thrill for some toddlers.
The son, the more non committal I was the best it went.
They both were trained day and night at 2 and a half years old, like clockwork! They told me "no more nappies". I grit my teeth and gave them a try, neither of them ever had a backsliding incident except when leaving it a bit late!

I'm not sure of the dinner and bedtimes you cite. Bear in mind that many countries have different customs, so maybe "tea" for a small child is much earlier. We ate later than that, and few children that age would eat any earlier than 6 30 pm here in France.
The nap thing is a little tricky. At preschool they take a nap, so this means that they are often up later than you'd like.
I tried both ways, avoiding the nap and letting them sleep. Sometimes they just get so tired they need a nap.
Mine hated taking naps at school. Really dreaded it.
Now, they both began going to bed on their own around 3 or 4. They had their own stuff to do...it worked much better than I ever dreamed.
No, they aren't big sleepers. The son is 10 and goes to bed quite late compared to his friends, at around 10. He has no trouble waking up, gets up on his own without an alarm, and is never late for school nor grouchy.
It's their rhythm and I suspect your son is one of those children who sleeps less than others;

Trust your own instincts and don't get too worried about negative remarks you might hear. I found that so discouraging until I realized it was even hereditary in their case, I just smiled and said, "well their father never sleeps much either."
Now I don't want you pandering to his every wish and exhausting yourself either, I've seen that. Just make it clear that he is capable of amusing himself or reading and having his own quiet time in his own space at night.

Have you tried soft music in the baby's room? That always worked like a charm for me. Some suggestions are "Mozart At Midnight" and "Beethoven At Bedtime" (available in CD and tape formats).

To this day, I often enjoy playing soft music when my son visits (he's now in his 20's); he's been so conditioned to equate soft music with sleep that, within 15 minutes, he's yawning and, before one half hour is up, he's dozing.

When I first got my pup, a Shih T'zu named Isis, I played soft music for him so that he wouldn't cry when left alone at night. Again, it worked like a charm (though he preferred Gregorian chants).

An added advantage for the child is the appreciation of great music that he/she will grow up with.

It's worth a try. Good luck!

Just bringing this one back up top because I want to thank you guys who helped me out. I tried everyones suggestions and all were appreciated and helped me out. But I want to tentatively say that for the moment things are sorted!!!! Through necessity Andrew had been sleeping in the room with his Dad and I and as of a week ago I had the opportunity to make up a lovely nursery style kiddie style room where he slept on his own. He loves it and since he has been in it, and I mean from the first night, he has slept through for 11 hours!!!! I feel like a new person and want to shout it from the rooftops. I hope announcing this doesn't put a jinx on it. Everybody keep your fingers crossed for me and thank you everybody for your help. XXXXXXXX

Clunk clunk clunk, sound of me knocking on wood!
Remember this stuff when they are near potty training and get them superman or Barbie underwear...I thought it sounded silly but it works!
I mean I think I tried to insist on my daughter sleeping in a proper crib (cot for Brits, you probably only store corn in a crib, right?) and then I realized she was going to keep on climbing out of it and probably injure herself.
I just whipped the mattress out, stuck it on the floor and that was her bed.
With my son I didn't bother using it, just had a portable cot, or crib. THen he graduated to a mattress or bed and loved sleeping in a big boy's bed.

I'm really happy for you...it does feel better when they start settling down.
I like it when you can reason with them...I taped both of them during our play sessions with blocks or dolls or little guys and they were so funny.

Hey Valois, is that you Vendome? Long time

Yep...c'est moi! Callybub...congrats and I hope it continues. Good luck!

Human - as always, that sort of message should be restricted to PM. Thank you.

Sue, when I used to frequent here over a year ago, the people were friendly and we weren't treated like children. Just exactly are you guidelines as to what should or should be written via PM's? I had my PM's off as I don't check them regularly. Why would you point my post out and not Vendome's to reply to me? How is my question to Vendome any different from you asking me if I ever lived in Texas. Sounds like a double standard to me. Yes, please do tell me where I can reach Sandalwood and JoJo. They were always nice and friendly to me. Thanks

Answered by PM.