I saw this on Facebook, thought I'd bring it over here and see if it confounded any of you from other places. There are a few words on here which we don't use in my part of Canada, but for the most part, it's not too unreasonable.
On Canada Day let's speak the Canada way.
So I drove the beater to the LCBO to pick up a two-four and a mickey. It was only 10 klicks but I was given'er. The good wife was warning me about packing on the molson muscle 'coz that morning we had the eggs side by each with the bacon parallel. Me, I was thinking this could all go haywire real fast.
I was wearing steeltoes but it was too hot for the bunny hugs. The Timmies was kitty-corner so I picked up a double double and timbits. The girl at the counter was a puck bunny. She liked the habs. I headed to the corner store for a freezie but they didn't have one. Calice. Not sure what the kerfuffle was. I would've paid with a toonie and a loonie. Tabernak on toast.
The pavement was freaking steaming.
There was a guy there who deeked me out for the parking space. I coulda dropped the gloves and gone over the boards but when he realized I was giving him the Bobby Clark eyes he said sorry.
I then felt real bad.
I said, "ah bud, don't worry. Sorry too."
He offered me a dart and said he knew the Hip.
Then told him I had a signature from Crosby. We was best friends. I invited him back to my place.
Came home and couldn't decide whether to hit the chesterfield or the muskoka chair. For sure it was a stand off. But I wasn't being no keener. Settled for a pop and some ketchup chips. And then a wobbly pop. Happy Canada Day youse guys.