Can't hear this song without thinking about Wayne's World.

Yes! Roxanne! Such a great Police song! Too bad it's from the 70s.

But this reminds me of a story from my youth. During my freshman and sophomore years at Diboll High School (Mascot: The Lumberjack, School Colors: Red and White), we had a head football coach and athletic director I will call Coach Bland. In my freshman year ('77), our football team went 0-10. In my sophomore year ('78), we went 1-9. I actually had Coach Bland as my World History teacher my sophomore year. On Mondays, rather than teach history (since when do Texas head football coaches bother with teaching their academic subjects, anyway?), he would show game film to his classes from the most recent Friday night disaster on the gridiron. Roxanne, of course, was a very popular song by The Police in 1978. After the last game of the football season in November, the school board took the unusual step of publicly announcing during the ongoing academic year that Coach Bland's contract would not be renewed. Teenagers, being cruel as they are (and they certainly are), then would greet Coach Bland in his classes by singing a little song to him to the tune of "Roxanne":

Coach Bland!
You don't have to put on the red shorts.
Those days are over
You don't have to sell your body to the night
Coach Bland!
You don't have to wear those shorts tonight
Walk the field for money
You don't care if it's wrong or if it's right.

Coach Bland
You don't have to put on the red shorts
Coach Bland
You don't have to put on the red shorts

Put on the red shorts
(Coach Bland) Put on the red shorts
(Coach Bland) Put on the red shorts
(Coach Bland) Put on the red shorts
(Coach Bland) Put on the red shorts
Oh

I hat'd ya since I knew ya
I always talked down to ya....

(Well, you get the idea)

Do you know what you get when you mix high intelligence, teenagers, sarcasm, The Police, a terrible football team, an unstimulating academic environment, and the late 70s in rural East Texas?

What I just described.