Myla, I enjoyed your analysis, but I must question your "Canadian" credentials. Is Trawna REALLY part of Canada? Peculiar that such an important city is NOT the capital of the country! Don't Newfies and Albertans and BC'ers (and certainly Quebecois) really view you as Americans, albeit slightly politer ones?? I mean, let's deconstruct that location that you set forth: "Toronto, Ontario (Canada)" That parenthetical clarification speaks volumes... it's as though there's even some doubt in your OWN mind as to where Trawna's allegiance really lies! (lol) Have you ever REALLY discussed distances between towns? Have you been to Saskatchewan? I'm willing to bet that at least once in your life you may have littered in the street or (heaven forfend) even crossed against a "don't walk" sign!! Do you really, deep down, think the metric system is dumb and that Fahrenheit really does top Centigrade? Have you ever had a dream in which your country's flag had some BLUE in it? Did you ever find yourself advocating the extreme Krispy Kreme position against the Tim Horton's partisans?
Americanism is very insidious. The closer to the border you are, the more you are subject to its terrible blandishments. One day a happy, bilingual sport fisherman in a funny hat who roots for the Maple Leafs, the next day an awful, rude Yank salesman who talks to his wife on a cell phone while driving an SUV through some gated community on Long Island!

Coolupway

Is there no end to your American perfidity? Your evil attempts to find lebensraum above the 49th parallel have been revealed! Look at you, using all the classic tricks and underhand methods, Niccolo and Adolph would be proud of you. How long have you worked for the CIA's "territorial enhancement program"?

First, imply the other guy is the baddie and represents a "clear and present danger" never mind how implausible, if it will work for Grenada it'll work for Canada. What did you say ah! Yes:

"lull us into complacency with Celine Dion songs and then invade"

Encourage the fear of the other, dehumanise the enemy, make them seem alien:

"Will we become more polite? Will I have to relearn my terrible high school French? "

Belittle the prospective slave state's ethnic folkways and cultural icons:

"albeit one in which the metric system is JUST a little bit overused!", "neither Rita McNeil nor Joe Clark were harmed in the making of the aforementioned alleged Canadian jokes."

Then bank roll and encourage dissent among the general populous;

"Speak up, O Canada!"

and ethnic minorities:

"To be fair, Shania should sing the Native Canadian/aboriginal peoples/Canadian PC version"

Provoking a leadership crisis:

"Good god... is Chretien really going to hang around until 2004? "

I notice that divide and conquer that is your primary strategy. First you have stirred up trouble with Quebec this of course surprises no one but you are not satisfied with that. You are even implying that Torronto is not part of the Canadian nation. How vile is your stratagem Coolupway! I can hear the tramp of marching feet even as we speak.

What will be used as your ultimate casus belli I wonder? An impossible UN resolution requiring the Bluejay's to disarm or perhaps the removal of Celine's vocal chords, she does seem to worry you.

No, America may have occupied Detroit and Fort Astoria in the past but a line must be drawn. Canada is after all still a part of the Empire old boy! If you don't stop these wicked acts of aggression against our largest colony well will be forced to send a task force.

Regards,


Tielhard

You have found me out. But if perfidy is our game over here, it is one we learned from none other than THE MOTHER COUNTRY!! I ask, how did Canada end up speaking (largely) English??? Could persons from a certain EMPIRE have infiltrated the provinces, making the token nod to biligualism while all the time harboring SECRET ANGLOPHONE DESIGNS?? Is this not evidence of a massive Canadian plot on the part of John Bull , I ask you, o Brit passing as A FAMOUS FRENCH ARCHAEOLOGIST, CATHOLIC (!) CLERIC AND PHILOSOPHER???

Yes, of course we want Canada. If we grabbed Alberta, we'd have enough oil to tell every Middle East thugocracy to go take a flying f--- at a rolling do(ugh)nut... a DUNKIN DONUT, and NOT a Timmy! Ontario would give us a refreshing blast of p.c. from the NORTH, rather than from the LEFTY CAMPUSES whence it presently (and solely) emanates. The annexation of Newfoundland would allow us to lighten up on the poor Poles with our nasty jokes. The annexation of Quebec would give us AT LEAST ONE GOOD RESTAURANT NORTH OF ALBANY, N.Y.

Much as Polk did with Mexico, we will SEIZE upon the flimsiest opportunity to exercise our territorial designs. There was and may still be some ongoing dispute in the upper echelons of HARNESS RACING as to whether to convert Canadian earnings to American dollars in racing programs so as to give a truer picture of a horse's performance. HOW MANY MORE STUPID CAMLUCKS AND DEXTER NUKES WITH INFLATED EARNINGS FROM ONTARIO SIRES STAKES ARE WE EXPECTED TO TOLERATE WHEN THE MEADOWLANDS REOPENS??

Undefended border, INDEED!

Well, thanks for the welcome to the board

First of all, as for how I've noted my location in my profile....there are a couple of "Toronto"s in the US, so I made sure to add "ON" (Ontario) to specify the province but since there is an Ontario, CA and many Americans don't understand we have provinces here (not states) as well as most times, on US television, they usually skip the province all together and say Toronto, Canada or Vancouver, Canada (which I hate). And so to complete the whole package, I added "Canada". As for the psychology behind the brackets well, I'll leave the analysis to you : ....how's that for a long and drawn out answer?

Second, it's interesting you think we here in Toronto (we don't say "Trawna" anymore - we've evolved as a species ) - are so Americanized when we think the Quebecois are more Americanized. Albertans don't usually regard us at all .

As for the capital of Canada. Seems to make sense to us that it is Ottawa since that is where the seat of government is. Toronto is the capital of Ontario. You know - like Washington DC is for you rather than New York...I think that's a similar comparison, don't you?

English being our first language - well, the British did defeat the French at the Plains of Abraham.

Quebecois... Americanized??? Consider this well-worn joke:

What do you call someone who speaks 3 languages?
Trilingual
What do you call someone who speaks 2 languages?
Bilingual
What do you call someone who speaks one language?
American!

I also note in passing that you have remained CURIOUSLY SILENT on the Timmy's/Krispy Kreme/Dunkin Donut issue!

And just how DID Paul Martin get to be a millionaire by the time he was in his early 30's????

Ha! I see through your cunning stratagem Coolupway. By over capitalisation of your post you intend to goad the Moderators in to deleting this entire thread. It will then appear that this conversation never happened!

Don't try to pretend you need the Albertan oil, this is about Maple syrup. As both the population and waistline of your hegemonist nation has increased exponentially in the last few years it has become vital that you secure a source of pancake and waffle lubricant. You feint towards Alberta will fool no one.

Your desires to capture Newfoundland for humorous reasons may not be totally unacceptable but will be opposed by all the resources of the Empire. If Newfoundland today then Co. Kerry tomorrow and an Empire without Ireland - unthinkable!

Cleric and philosopher: Irony is lost on the minions of the CIA, shall I perhaps stencil 666 on my forehead, will this make the position clearer?

Certainly good reasoning, T.... up to a point. The argument falls apart because of a little state called "Vermont". Anyone who's ever driven up route 7 or across Route 9 there knows that the place is overflowing with maple syrup... every roadside stand sells the stuff.

As for annexation and Albertan oil, a very funny and readable Canadian journalist, Mark Steyn, beat me to this idea, or more specifically its linking of concepts, by several weeks.

While I have been in Langley, Va., I live nowhere near there. However there is a person on this site who lives only a few exits away on the Beltway! (Obviously security considerations preclude me from identifying this individual.)

(My name does NOT appear in Kinzer's book on Guatemala, Arbenz and Uhited Fruit, nor does it appear in any of the many tomes about the overthrow of Mossadegh!)

In reply to:

---

I also note in passing that you have remained CURIOUSLY SILENT on the Timmy's/Krispy Kreme/Dunkin Donut issue!

---

Tim's (Tim Horton's for those on here 'out of the loop') is the BEST - especially their coffee.

You can have your Krispy Kreme - mega sweet - gag me doughnuts. I don't get what's so great about them. They opened a second one in the "Tranna" area not too long ago and had to have cops on hand to direct traffic it was so busy ....go figure!

As for Dunkin....they OK....not too many left around here.....

Tim rules

I've got to agree with you about the doughnuts Myla59 --- Tim Horton's definitely rule.

There is absolutely NO French-Canadian influence in these here United States. The stupid sk8rboi song my daughter won't stop listening to is by April Levine, a Jewish girl from Framingham, Massachusetts. Top US harness racing drivers
Luc Ouellette and Stephane Bouchard are actually Belgians.
Celine Dion is a WASP from Dahlonega, Georgia. Her real name is Cecelia Downing. The Quebecois accent is a put-up job and was taught to her as a marketing ploy by the old bald guy she runs around with.

Now out to have a nice hambourgeois for dinner. (Hope the gendarmes don't catch me running any "arret" signs).

Coolupway, are you suggesting that there are Americans posing as Canadians - supposedly because they are cooler?

Did you once have a "flag" on your backpack???

Well, I've heard of women supposedly suffering from penis envy, but it's the first I hear of Americans suffering from maple leaf envy...
I think a sociological study is in order here.

1. Better anthem
2. Better hockey & harness racing
3. More humorous names of towns and cities
4. Premiers in W. provinces... can Campbell outdrink Klein?
5. Newfie jokes have no equivalent in US
6. Chretien making good progress with Engish and French
7. How DID Paul Martin get so rich by the time he was 30?
8. Several Americans are polite, too
9. Any walled cities in the US? Huh??
10. Presidents' wives: Yawnsville. PMs' wives: Two words.. "Maggie Trudeau"
11. Celine Dion spends much of her time in US now
12. Avril's 15 minutes almost up.
13. Levy, Candy, Moranis, Flaherty et al.
14. PEI probably not as boring as New Hampshire
15. Rick Mercer ten times funnier than Al Franken
16. Mulroney's jaw bigger than Leno's
17. Food refrigeration generally unnecessary
18. Silliest roadsigns in the developed world
19. Curling-related injuries relatively rare
20. "Ridings" much more fun than "districts"

Hmmmm, let me see now......

1. Better anthem / Come on, our anthem is woosie - at least yours has some drama
2. Better hockey & harness racing / Well, I don't know about the harness racing (I'm not a fan) but HOCKEY, now your talking
3. More humorous names of towns and cities / You mean, Flin Flon, Tuktoyaktuk, Yellowknife, Whitehorse, Goose Bay (to name but a few)?
4. Premiers in W. provinces... can Campbell outdrink Klein? / Ralph (Klein) is on the wagon now, isn't he?
5. Newfie jokes have no equivalent in US / Sure you do - Polish jokes. Wait, they're not allowed now...nevermind
6. Chretien making good progress with Engish and French / I hear Georgie is doing very well in his "English as a Second Language" class at the "White House School for tongue-tied Presidents"
7. How DID Paul Martin get so rich by the time he was 30? / I didn't know that
8. Several Americans are polite, too / Name one....can't, can ya?
9. Any walled cities in the US? Huh?? / Depends how serious the crime was
10. Presidents' wives: Yawnsville. PMs' wives: Two words.. "Maggie Trudeau" / Oh please! She was a 'disco diva'
11. Celine Dion spends much of her time in US now / There's more $$$ in them there hills. But, ahhhh, her 'heart will go on' living in Canada
12. Avril's 15 minutes almost up / Avril who?
13. Levy, Candy, Moranis, Flaherty et al. / Long live SCTV!
14. PEI probably not as boring as New Hampshire / Can't say....haven't visited either. I'll have to trust you on that
15. Rick Mercer ten times funnier than Al Franken / Al has his moments
16. Mulroney's jaw bigger than Leno's / Correct, now on to the $10,000 question
17. Food refrigeration generally unnecessary / You should see this year's model of igloo....Frigidaire has some tough competiton up here
18. Silliest roadsigns in the developed world / "Beware of Big Horn Sheep"
19. Curling-related injuries relatively rare / Except for the dreaded carpel tunnel from too much sweeping
20. "Ridings" much more fun than "districts" / But "Ridings" would be a lousy title for a show. People would think it was about horses - Black Beauty

Hmmmm, methinks mon cher Coolman that the gauntlet has been thrown in.

News Flash!!! This just in.

OTTAWA (QN) Prime Minister Jean Chretien sent JF2 task force to Sleep Country Canada!
He heard they had B’d Linen.

TORONTO (QN) A 67 year old woman with knitting needles, taken off the plane at Pearson in hand-cuffs.
Yes,! She was knitting Afghans on the plane.

Kind words, thank you!
We love the American People.
We should be friends enough
to tell each other the truth.
Qwiz

Personally, I really don't care for Canadians.I mean, what have they ever accomplished? And why is that they hate any famous person that comes out of their country? Why don't you stop worrying about becoming like America and go live your lives and leave America alone. The only good people that have come out of that country is Shania Twain (my name sake) and Alanis Morissette. Goodbye from Shania in American's Heartland. (by the way. How dare you people send us crappy people like Avril Laveign and Celine Dion!)

Well you asked what Canadians have ever Accomplished! Here is just a small list of things that we have succeeded in over the centuries!
BTW YOUR namesake is Very Proud to be a Canadian so you might want to rethink your "I don't Like Canadians very much " as that means you don't care for your own namesake.
Have you ever visted Canada? Do you personally know any Canadians? We are very nice people I have been told.So maybe you should get to know us before you pass judgement on the whole country! That's just my opinion. PF

a Canadian invented the broadcasting of voice and music by radio? Reginald A. Fessenden’s first broadcast in 1904 made him the father of modern radio. Imagine where the music industry would be without him!

a Canadian invented Standard Time? In 1878 Sir Sanford Fleming divided the world into time zones to increase the accuracy of scheduling travel over long distances by train. We still use these to this day. Okay folks, synchronize your time zones!

in 1833 John Patch, a Canadian, invented the nautical screw propeller that propels most watercraft today? Records indicate that he was dissuaded from patenting his invention and it later emerged from England. Do you think that this could have influenced the design of the airplane propeller?

that the Macintosh apple was invented by Canadian John Macintosh in 1796? Every single Macintosh apple tree is rooted in the history of the very first Macintosh, discovered by John Macintosh growing on his farm in Dundas County, Ontario. We still love our Macs!

Canadian, Dr. John A. Hopps invented the Heart Pacemaker in 1950? Millions, including the Doctor himself, have benefited from this lifesaving device. Canada, giving heart beat to the world!

Canadians invented the Imax Movie System? In 1968 Grahame Ferguson, Roman Kroitor and Robert Kerr revolutionized the world of film with this larger than life invention. Entertaining people around the world!

a Canadian invented one of the World’s most popular and powerful programming languages in use today? JAVA is the 1994 invention of Canadian, James Gosling. Where would the World Wide Web be without it!

a Canadian invented Polymerized Methyl Methacrylate? Do you care? You should. In 1931 William Chalmers invented Plexiglas. It is not broken by millions of people everywhere!

a Canadian invented one of the most important fuels of the mid-1800’s? In 1846 Doctor Abraham Gesner invented Kerosene, and it soon provided light to the homes of North America. Canada, always lighting the way!

a Canadian, Norman Breakey of Toronto, invented the Paint Roller in 1940? This invention is said to have kick started the whole Do-It-Yourself movement. We are happy that he wasn’t given the "brush off"!

a Canadian invented the electric light bulb? Bet you thought it was Edison right? No, Henry Woodward of Toronto invented the electric light bulb in 1874 and sold the patent to Thomas Edison a few years later due to lack of funds to develop the idea. Lots of bright lights in Canada!

a Canadian invented the Anti-Gravity Suit? In 1941, Wilbur Rounding Franks invented a suit to allow pilots to withstand the high G forces resulting from high-speed maneuvers in fighter planes. It is the forerunner to the current day space suit. And you thought that all we contributed was the Canadarm!

Canadians, Eli Franklin Burton, Cecil Hall, James Hillier and Albert Prebus co-invented the electron microscope in 1937? This amazing achievement opened the doors to medical and scientific discoveries for generations after its invention. There is nothing too small for Canadian ingenuity!

a Canadian invented newsprint? In 1838 Charles Fenerty, inspired by his observations of a wasp’s ability to build a paper nest from wood, invented a process to create pulp paper. Today, Canada supplies newsprint to almost half of the World’s newspapers. Imagine a world without the tabloids!

5 Pin Bowling is as much a Canadian sport as Hockey? T.E. Ryan of Toronto invented it in 1909. Those who have played it know that it is as deceptively easy as cricket. And in typical Canadian style there are no variables except skill!

a Canadian invented the Automatic Postal Sorter? In 1957, Maurice Levy invented a postal sorter that could handle 200,000 letters an hour. Just imagine how slow it could have been!

the Robertson Screw is a Canadian invention? In 1908, Peter L. Robertson decided that there had to be a better screw fastener. He was right and the superior Robertson square-headed screw was the result. It is predicted that some day our American cousins will discover its superior capabilities as well!

the Snowblower is a Canadian invention? In 1925, Arthur Sicard invented a self-propelled 4-wheel drive Snowblower that revolutionized the snow clearing process. Our friends in northern New York and Vermont have never stopped thanking us!

Insulin, and its use in the treatment of Diabetes, is a Canadian invention? In 1921, Dr. Frederick G. Banting and Dr. Charles H. Best, working together at the University of Toronto, isolated insulin, thus revolutionizing the treatment of diabetes and extending countless millions of lives worldwide!

a Canadian, James Floyd designed the first jetliner in 1949? When the Canadian-designed Avro Jet Liner first flew in 1949, it was North America's first and only commercial jet! It never went into production. Now you have more than the Avro Arrow to be mad about!

I think we can assume that you are a proud Canadian PurpleFan

Whatsmore, they make lovely biscuits.

I didn't know we invented all that! May I add basketball, and the snowmobile (Shania, the snowmobile is like a motorized surfboard you use to move on the snow). I know a third person you can add to your list of good people coming from Canada: Pamela Anderson. The frame is Canadian, the improvements are Californian!

Apart from these three, I agree with you Shania, there's no good people in Canada. Better stay away from it.

Kabdanis, I am truly shocked! You live in MONTREAL, and yet you list a SURGICALLY AUGMENTED WESTERN CANADIAN as an example of Canuck pulchritude? I mean, to be fair, the late Dorothy Stratten was certainly quite an eyeful, but still you should be ASHAMED!

Celine Dion notwithstanding, it is well known that an unbelievably high percentage of the most beautiful Canadian women hail from Quebec, and specifically from your very own Montreal. (Most prominently from West Island). Why, I stayed in a motel in the Laval area some 25 years ago, and the (allophone) young lady behind the desk was so strikingly gorgeous that I still remember her, even in my dotage! Or, as they say on the license plates up there, JE ME SOUVIENS!!

Coolupway, I'm sorry I took a Western beauty to exemplify great Canadian talent to a Californian girl! I agree with you: we have here in Montréal the most attractive women in the world - an evening walk on downtown Crescent Street would prove it ipso facto! But I just couldn't find a widely known sample of them. We keep em and only export our pichous ( a joli Québécois word pronounced "pea-shoe") aka Céline!

Sad thing though: here the girls wear tuques and parkas all year long