Hmmm...interesting concept. And, one that needs to be explored a bit. Who do you think would be voted off first? If you were one of the seven, which would you eliminate and in which order? Would Thurston go before the Skipper? Would Gilligan's antics get him voted off first? What about Mary Ann? Is she vital enough to the island to keep around a while?

What do you think?

In reply to:

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Sept. 19, 2002, 10:51AM


'Gilligan's Island' gets a lesson in playing 'Survivor'
By DANIEL J. VARGAS
Copyright 2002 Chronicle

If the TV show Survivor has conveyed one clear message to viewers, it's that people are dispensable.

When someone gets on your nerves, simply vote him off "the island."

If only the original stranded castaways had such voters'-rights knowledge. Yes, we're referring to (start humming now) Gilligan. The Skipper, too. The millionaire and his wife. The movie star. The professor and Mary Ann. (Cease humming.)

Just how would these 1960s characters fare in this low-on-tolerance survival game of the 21st century? When it comes to getting rid of simpletons and meek wimps, we ask: What island could have used this game more?

Survivor Thailand debuts tonight and is the fifth season of the you-scratch-my-back, I'll-stick-a-knife-in-yours TV series that celebrates deceit and strategy. This season is set on an isolated isle, and commercials hint at new twists such as a possible battle-of-the-sexes game plan.

If that is indeed the case, how would Gilligan and the boys do against the trio of women on their South Pacific island? No matter the result, it should be quite the comedy of errors.

Week 1
Each team must build its own huts. The always-gloved "Lovey" sits this one out, angering Mary Ann and Ginger, who just brushed on a fresh layer of candy-red fingernail polish -- her luxury item. Mary Ann grumbles that she does all the work, including baking coconut cream pies.

At the men's camp, Gilligan ties his wrist to a bamboo post and pulls down the men's hut as he walks away.

The men outnumber the women and can pick them off week by week if they want. But Mr. Howell and the Professor are irritated by Gilligan's mishaps.

The first immunity challenge is a pie-eating contest. The Skipper is favored to win but throws the match, allowing his "little buddy" to win and stay another week.

At Tribal Council, the first vote plays out this way: the useless Lovey -- six; Mary Ann -- one.


Week 2
Mr. Howell is pining over his wife being ousted. Meanwhile, the Professor builds a radio transmitter and calls Richard Hatch for advice. Hatch suggests adopting his "evil-queen" and nudist approach.

Ginger and Mary Ann huddle near the lagoon and form an alliance, hatching a plan to oust Mr. Howell. They burglarize the supply hut and plant the food in his money trunk (his luxury item).

Mr. Howell realizes he must now win immunity to stay on the island. He promises Enron and WorldCom stocks in exchange for votes. Not knowing that the stocks are worth more on eBay, Gilligan readily accepts his offer.

This week's immunity challenge is to wrestle a dreaded headhunter. Ginger lasts three seconds. Ditto for Mary Ann. The professor goes 15 seconds before being pinned. Gilligan chickens out. Mr. Howell gets a charley horse and quits. Skipper does a whale of a belly flop on the headhunter, winning the competition.

The Tribal Council vote: Mr. Howell -- five; the Professor -- one.


Week 3
By now, everyone's had enough of Mary Ann's pies. Feeling unappreciated, she storms off to the lagoon where a coconut falls on her head, sending her headfirst into the water. The Skipper, who was nearby sunbathing, saves Mary Ann from drowning.

Despite the Skipper's heroic effort, the girls know one of the men has to go. Ginger concocts a plan to seduce the Professor, who is now strutting around in the buff, into voting off the Skipper.

"Professor, you're so big and strong," she coos. "You have the warmest eyes."

But her daytime-drama skills can't win over this asexual nerd. Meanwhile, Mary Ann spends quality time with Gilligan, hoping to win his vote against Skipper.

The immunity challenge is to swim the most laps in the lagoon, which has been filled with piranhas. The Skipper's lack of physical fitness dooms him. The professor's lack of clothing makes him an easy target. Mary Ann and Gilligan are neck-and-neck, but she surges ahead on the strength of coconut cream pie carbs.

This week's Tribal Council vote: Skipper -- three; Ginger -- two.


Week 4
Gilligan regrets voting Skipper off. Professor is furious with Gilligan, bopping him on the head with Gilligan's own hat.

"What were you thinking?" the Professor scolds.

Mary Ann and Ginger snoop through Gilligan's belongings and discover a secret diary where he pens unflattering descriptions of each castaway. "Really, Gilligan. How could you?" Ginger snaps.

Gilligan's only hope is the immunity challenge. The castaways, who get pointers from a guest-star surfer who washed up on the beach, must ride the waves.

The klutzy first mate is the first to wipe out. Next, it's Ginger, whose form-fitting dress keeps her from maneuvering the board. Mary Ann, the farm girl, doesn't have a prayer. The Professor, proving he's not a total geek, rides the waves the longest.

The Tribal Council vote: Gilligan -- three; Ginger -- one.


Week 5
The Professor curbs his exhibitionist ways in hopes that he won't be the next to go. He catches a migrating duck and cooks a high-protein meal for the gals. Still, he feels immunity is a must.

This week's challenge: to create telephones using coconut shells and string.

The professor whips up a phone system in less than two minutes. Mary Ann discovers she's better with pies than technology, and Ginger realizes she can act like a phone but can't build one.

This week the Professor is the only one allowed to vote because the other two would seemingly cast ballots for the other. He ousts Mary Ann, the stronger of the two.


Week 6
The evicted castaways return to cast their votes for Professor or Ginger as the ultimate Survivor.

Mr. Howell votes for the Professor. The Skipper also casts his ballot for the Professor. "He played the game fair and square," he says.

Lovey and Mary Ann easily side with Ginger.

Gilligan casts his deciding vote for: The Professor.

But before the votes can be counted and verified by the accounting firm of Shumacher, Johnson & Associates, a wild gorilla rushes out of the jungle, snatches the vote box and kidnaps Lovey from Tribal Council.

A typical Gilligan's Island ending.

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