I can't believe I'm posting this. Whatever, I'm really interested in your opinion, and PLEASE be honest. Those of you who have read my question about school in Miami in the Commons thread will know what I'm talking about - however, for the others: I'm writing a kind of novel together with my cousin. It started out when we were just thinking of a story, then created the characters, and acted out a few scenes (that's three years ago now). I then started to write it down, and now we've really been thinking of offering it to a publishing house when everything's done. Just for fun, but I would really like to know if our story had any chance on the market...

The story is about four teenagers at a high school in Miami: Ginnie, Pearl, Chris and Ben. They are all outsiders for different reasons - Ginnie is just too, well, "strange" because she's interested in things like classical music, philosophy and stuff, moreover, she's not in the least interested in fashion or mainstream music/movies and so on. Pearl is aggressive - she's not even interested in being popular, she blocks off everything, she's unfriendly and a little bitchy. Chris once was very popular until there was a fight among the students in the course of which he was hurt, and since then he's had a scar across his face (my cousin created this character, and I guess she thought of a thing I call the "Quasimodo syndrome"). He then began to withdraw more and more, and all his former friends have turned to the new boss of the gang. Ben has always been someone who just didn't care about anything, he'd moved in other circles than his fellow students.
However, the most popular students at the school (yes, they're like the teen movie cliché... think of "She's All That" or "Carrie" or "Jawbreaker") plan to play a trick on them when they visit a military area. They lock them up in a building there (don't know the English word... this underground room you go in in order to be safe from bombs or whatever... a bunker?). Surely they just want to scare them, but it all turns out differently when two rather sinister characters appear and take the four outsiders with them. We later learn that this... building... has been used by a gang of smugglers to exchange drugs against cash, and these two people think that the four teenies know about it.
They take them to their boss, who later turns out to be closely connected to Ginnie. The four outsiders have to get along with each other, which of course brings some difficulty because they are all so different. Yet they start to approach each other, as it's the only thing left for them to do. Chris gets more open-minded, Pearl becomes more sensitive and tactful, Ben is not as indifferent as before, and Ginnie learns that not each high school student is as shallow as she always thought.
Of course there's also a love story...

I won't tell you the end. I know that it's not the most original thing, but it's been such fun to put the whole thing up, to outline the story and add a few plot twists... It's not easy to really find a genre, however, because it's kind of a mixture of teenie novel and melodrama, and there are a few clichés in it as well. Moreover, none of us has ever been to an American high school, so we need to do some more research about that. A map of Miami should be useful, too

Now be honest: Would you read such a book? Or do you want me to tell you more about the story and the ending, too?

One last thing: Yes, my nickname comes from "Outsiders", as the character I created is Pearl Quinlan. When I registered here, we were just starting to take the whole thing more serious, and I worked a lot on it, so it was the first name that popped into my mind when I had to choose a nickname. I thought it might as well do

I'm really curious about your comments!

I noticed that some people already viewed this thread but didn't reply. Please tell me what you think of it, even if you find that it's total crap. It's not that you would hurt me or spoil my future or something... I'm just really, really curious! And I love feedback, whatsoever.

Nah, I wouldn't read it Pearl.. Not my cup. I'm 36 now and have resigned myself to a world of non-fiction with the occasional Tom Clancy novel thrown in. I've forced myself to read the odd classic Twain and Steinbeck so I can at least sound knowledgeable in the book fora but it doesn't work. Heck! I even tried to read Harry Potter but couldn’t go through with it. I'd prefer to have my chin whiskers burnt off by a flaming Iraqi oil well.

But that's just me being a tired old cynic. I think it's brilliant you read. And even MORE brilliant you hold a passion for a particular read. I once read 'Never Ending Story' and thought my life had changed. It wasn't until a few years later I realised the book had an ending and I was robbed of my childhood

I probably wouldn't read it because I'm not very interested in teen books, but I do know quite a few people who would
read it. Try to get it published; the worst that can happen is that it will be rejected! I think it's great that you and your cousin wanted to write a story in the first place, and I'm sure you've grown closer to her and you've both learned more about the other. Even if it never gets published, you and your cousin have had a priceless experience. I was just rethinking what I said earlier, and I can't really say right now whether or not I'd read it- the story line doesn't immediately strike my fancy, but I don't know what the writing style is like or what happens in the end - it could be a really good book. Do you think you could post a chapter or part of a chapter so I could read a little bit of it and get a taste of the style?

Ditto Janefan, although I would want to read it. I usually don't want to read many of these genre stories, but this one sounds good to me. Try Bloomsbury publishers...if you ever do want to get it published. They liked Harry Potter, and they got the money that the other publishers would have gotten if they would have accepted the stories! In summary, I say that the book sounds good, and I'd like to read it if it ever gets published. ^_^

Good luck with it, and let us know how it turns out.

Thanks for the feedback, and thank you for being honest. Of course, it's more a book for teens or twens, but that's what it's meant to be.
As to publishing a chapter... that could be a little difficult, as the whole thing is written in German (my English must have improved quite a bit if you took me for a native speaker ), but maybe I'll translate a part if I have the time. After all, I'm studying English in order to be a translator, so this could count as a little extra training However, offering it to Bloomsbury is also not really possible... We'll try to find some German publisher who likes it. If he doesn't, our world won't fall apart, either. We've had enough fun writing the story, and publishing it would just be the icing on the cake.

As I still read Enid Blyton, Biggles and GA Henty even at over 40. I might well read it. But it sounds like you might have two different levels of story one of darkly humourous teen angst (see 'The Breakfast Club') and one a straight adventure story. Perhaps you should write 2 stories. Regards, Tin

I think I'd read it. Although I'm in my twenties I still read children's books every once in a while and yours sounds interesting. My German is pretty good, so if you'd want me to, I'd be more than happy to read a chapter!

I could post a chapter in the summer when I'm with my parents. Then I'll have the time. Maybe I'll translate it into English, because I think you're the minority, Leau Of course, then you can't really say something about my style... I'll think about it.

I wouldn't, but my 14 year old daughter would love it. Let me know if you get published!

To be honest, I probably wouldn't read it. The characters are too cliche. How often in real life do you get a neat and tidy little package of a group of people with distinctly differing charcteristics? Too many people try to do that with characters. Too many reality TV shows try to do that with their contestants/characters (Think "Real World", think "Big Brother", think "Survivor").

Also, the story doesn't seem very believeable. I don't know, maybe teenagers would like it and relate to the characters better than I would.

Am I correct in thinking you are planning on naming this book "Outsiders"? Keep in mind, the book by S.E.Hinton with a very similar name "The Outsiders". I would consider naming it something more clever that might get people's interest up a bit more. Don't just name it what it is, make people think about it, keep them wondering.

Anyway, that's my two cents,
Chris

I don't know,Pearl. It sounds interesting enough to get my attention and make me start reading. But will I want to finish it? But it kind of reminds me of another book. I can't remember the name or author but it had a similar plot...But I hope you don't stop your writing with this story. It sounds like you have pontential!! (sp)

My one suggestion would be---write what you know! If you live in Germany, set it in Germany, NOT Miami.