It's me, obviously.
I have fabulous natural talent at tennis, but never seem to win any games, because of these so-called "rules" - you know, the ones about not hitting outside the lines, or letting the ball bounce five times before you get over to it, puffing like a train. Those stick-in-the-muds at Wimbledon are obsessed with these outdated regulations from a bygone age, and have never put me into the main draw. It's a travesty.