This is an actual official letter given to a pet owner from a breeder. I thought it was funny how many mistakes were made in something that is supposed to make you feel better about your pet.

PURCHASING AGREEMENT

CONGRAT'S YOU HAVE PURCHASED AN AKC REGISTERED [...] ENGLISH BULLDOG. YOUR PUPPY HAS BEEN SEEN BY OUR LOCAL VETERNARIAN. ANS HE/SHE HAS BEEN OKED TO LEAVE HE/SHE'S MOTHER THE PUPPY IS EATING SOLID FOOD THEY ARE EATING A MIXTURE OF PROPLAN AND DIAMOND PUPPY FOOD TO MAKE IT SOFT AND YOU WILL NOT NEED TO CONTINUED MAKING THERE FOOD SOFTEN. I ONLY LET THEM EAT FOR 15 MINUTES AND I TAKE THEM OUT TO GO POTTY. THEY ARE BEING FED 4 TIMES A DAY AT 8AM AND 12PM AND 4PM AND AROUND 10PM. ASK YOUR VET WHAT THEY RECCOMENDS.

THEY ARE GOING TO WHINE AND LOOK LONELY BUT THEY HAVE YOU THERE FOR THEM. ALWAYS REMEMBER THERE IS NOT A BULLY OUT THERE THAT HAS NOT BEEN SPOILED ROTTEN! ALSO PUPPIES LOVE TO CHEW ON THING DON'T LET THEM CHEW ON FINGERS OR TOES GET THEM A RAW HIDE THAT IS NOT SO SMALL THAT THEY GET CHOKED. ALSO A HARD KONG TOY IS A GOOD IDEA TOO! TO HOUSE TRAIN I PERSONALLY THINK THAT A BULLDOG HAS GOT TO BE THE WORST ABOUT HOUSEBREAKING IT IS EASIER IF YOU HAVE A CRATE TO PUT THEM IN AT NIGHT OR WHEN YOU ARE AWAY. KEEP AN EYE ON YOUR PUPPY WHEN HE/SHE HAS JUST WOKE UP OR JUST HAS EATEN OR JUST STARTS SNIFFING AROUND TAKE THEM OUT.

THEY WAS WORMED WITH NEMEX 6/12/03 ON
SHOT SCHEDULE IS THERE FIRST VACCINATION WAS 5/29/03 WITH DHPP. 2ND 6/12/03.

(Edited to correct the title and delete a sentence that wasn't needed after I changed the title before posting.)

Uh, 7 plus punctuation. What's my prize?