A cockroach can live for up to nine days without its head,before it starves to death.(Presumably,it can still mate in this state,but does it enjoy it?)
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Dental hygenist:Hmmm...your gums are bleeding,that's not a good sign...have you been flossing regularly?
Me:Ummm...could the fact that my gums are bleeding have anything to do with the way you've been jabbing them with a plaque scraper for the last 15 minutes?