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Everyone knows that 10 is not a multiple of 3, therefore it is an impossibility

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LOL - I bet Johnny Wilkinson is being wrapped in cotton wool this week for fear of injury. England are stuffed without him.

I swear I live in an area where I am the only sports fan - the Rugby League grandfinal was on the same time as a 5 year olds birthday that we had to go to and now there is another birthday party on Saturday night, my only social occasion since the League g/f. What are people thinking when they organize these things??? I've made them promise to keep the tv on the Union for the entire night and not switch it to Harry Potter like what happened with the League. Sheeeeeeesh.

England Rugby is boring!

Any comments?

Does it matter if it's boring as long as the points are on the board?

This may belong in Jokes and Humour but here goes

A guy walks into a bar with a dachshund under his arm. The dog is wearing a England rugby jersey and is festooned with England pom-poms.

The bartender says, "Hey! No pets are allowed! You'll have to leave."
The guy begs him, "Look, I'm desperate! We're both big fans, the TV's broken at home, and this is the only place around where we can see the game."

After securing a promise that the dog will behave, and warning him that he and the dog will be thrown out if there's any trouble, the bartender relents and allows them to stay in the bar and watch the game. The big game begins with the poms receiving the kickoff. They march down field, get stopped at the 22, and kick a penalty goal.

Suddenly, the dog jumps up on the bar and begins walking up and down the bar giving high-fives to everyone. The bartender says, "Wow, that is the most amazing thing I've seen! What does the dog do if they score a try?" The owner replies, "I don't know, I've only had him for three years."



Cheers

Craig

WooHoo Craig!! I loved that joke and so true!! Copago, I did hear that Snow White joke with a slightly different twist but dare not repeat it now!! Please, please Wallabies lets have a great Southern Hemisphere game with plenty of movement as you are right Copago, England rugby is so boring

You Southern Hemisphere peeps are the funniest I have ever seen (read). It is sooooooooooo obvious that the Aussies are scared stiff of losing on Saturday, and even the Kiwi peeps are backing them.

England have played at 80% this World Cup, watch them hit 100% on Saturday and watch those Aussies weep in their amber necter.

I was thinking 24-12 England but now i change my mind i say 24-10 England.

Any more Brits receive the 'swing the poll' emails? I received 4 in the office today, 3 saying vote England as scintilating, 1 to vote Wallabies (who are they?) as one match wonders.

I read in the press today about the Aussies complaining about Wilko's boot. Anyone remember a few years ago, and Michael Linagh?
C'mon England!

England Rugby is Boring?

I don't think so. Ex-players that can't keep their mouths shut for more than 3 seconds and fail to realise that it is a very different game to when they played - are boring. Everyone is entitled to their opinions, though I am sick and tired of all the Wallaby and England bashing these ex-players and so called commentators have been dishing out. Campese? Who was he? A whinging winger. Look at the quality of opponents on the wing when he played. No wonder he racked up a few tries. Imagine him against Lomu, Rokocoko or any of the current breed of of guerilla winger? He'd be smashed. Also, if these commentators are so fast to call Englands style boring, than why aren't they getting stuck into team tactics of slowing down the ruck giving away a penalty. This is the cause of their 'boring' rugby.

Rugby can be all sorts of things. It can be a gritty forwards battle of inches up the middle in wet conditions. It can be a penalty shootout or a game of force 'em backs. It can be also the free flowing affair where every pass sticks to hand in beautiful conditions. Rugby is ALL these things, not just one. I've always said it was an incredible game to play and a boring game to watch.
The field goal is part of the game and should not be challenged. Jonny W is so incredibly gifted why the hell would you not use his talent?? Last Saturday he shaped to kick a field goal with his right foot, off balance, stepped back inside to avoid a defender, dropped it off his left boot and scored. Amazing. Far better to watch than Campese's goose step.

On Saturday there will be millions of poms watching the game. Ask anyone of them when Jonny slots a 3 pointer if it was boring. Not a chance!

Bertho - my seat is booked, the family have been warned not to get anywhere near the set whilst the game is on.

Todays press has been full of the OZ jokes (All oldies) apart from
OZ Press headline "Is That All you have" (I beleive reffering to a certain No10). UK Headline "Do we need anything else?"

And by 10 points (two scores)
5 metre line out - Leicester Tigers catch and push over try and converted.
or Penalty try awarded for persistent Oz offences on the line (now that would be controversial but not inconceivable) and of course a dropped goal by Rowntree playing his record breaking 113 test appearance
I don't think this is going to be a test of the kickers,or the front 8, I think it's a test of the best defence and I think the Oz defence is very vulnerable compared to the England white wall!

Wez the word isn't "boring" it's "Winning" !

Don't shoot the messenger Wez, my fine friend!

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I don't think this is going to be a test of the kickers,or the front 8, I think it's a test of the best defence and I think the Oz defence is very vulnerable compared to the England white wall!

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ROTFL! Wales left a fair amount of try scoring graffiti on this 'white wall'

As I'm not an Aussie or an Lion, I'm taking a fairly neutral view. My TV will be on, but I am supporting a team. I can't which team right now !

LOL @ Wez ... but i'll throw in another English one while we're waiting for you

As host of the RWC, the IRB has allowed us to make some subtle changes to
the rules and point allocation...

Rule Amendment 1. Fly half's are not allowed to leave their own 22. (The Netball Keeper Clause)
Rule Amendment 2. Penalty kicks will now be indirect. (i.e. they must be touched by two attacking players)
Rule Amendment 3. The truck and trailer or rolling mall is totally outlawed.
A penalty try is awarded to the opposition for any penalty received by this soft option.
Point Allocation Amendment 1. Trys will be worth 7 points with conversions worth 3 points.
Point Allocation Amendment 2. Penalty goals will be awarded 1 point for
successful indirect kicks (see Rule Amendment 2) - Sub Clause - Any penalty
kicks that cross the goal posts in a direct manner will not be awarded and
will result in a penalty try for the opposition (7 points + possible 3 for
conversion).
Point Allocation Amendment 3. Drop Goals will remain 3 points, but they must
be taken with a double bounce reverse kick, i.e. Johnny can drop the ball and kick it over(from within his 22) after the second bounce, with the heel of his foot. Failed kicks will lead to a 5 point penalty (to defending side) for boring play.

With these subtle changes, I think I can say with confidence that the score
will reflect the true gap between Northern and Southern Hemisphere Rugby!

FINAL SCORE
Australia 197 (WR)
England 3 (the bastard is that good, he will at least get one drop goal!)

The England rugby practice was delayed nearly two hours today after a player reported finding an unknown white powdery substance on the practice field. Coach Clive Woodward immediately suspended practice while police and federal investigators were called to investigate. After a complete analysis, investigating forensic experts determined that the white substance unknown to players was the TRY line.

Practice was resumed after special agents decided the England team was unlikely to encounter the substance again

Q. What do you do for a drowning English Rugby player?
A. Nothing. You could drag him to the top, but he'll choke anyway.

Q: What's the difference between the All Blacks and a Tea Bag?
A: The Tea Bag stays in the Cup Longer.

Q: What do you call a New Zealander in a RWC final?
A: The Linesman.

Bertho, for your sake and mine, let's hope the Wallabies are hungry for that trophy!! With posts like this, you'll spend a WEEK cleaning the egg off your face should they lose!! I've left myself open for Pommy inflicted pain over in AskFunTrivia.
My quizzyland mailbox will be full of gloat mail should the Enema team get up!!

Right you Campo-lovin' gets!!!

Here's a couple, (and it's only taken me a little over 24 hours to find 'em......!)

An England Fan is sitting in a bar in Sydney, in his England shirt, having a few beers. A smile crosses his face as a thought amuses him, and he nudges the guy next to him.
"Here mate, do you want to hear a funny Wallabies joke?".

The guy next to him stands up, in his Aussie rugby shirt, and replies, "Judging by your accent, you're an arrogant Pom aren't you. Listen out Pom, we are all true blue Aussies ... I weigh 180 pounds and I play for the ACT Brumbies ... my mate here, he weighs 200 pounds and he plays for the Waratahs .... my other mate, behind him, weighs 250 pounds and he also plays for the Waratahs...."

"So tell, me Pom" he snarls, "Do you still want to tell us a FUNNY Wallaby joke ....?"

"Bloody hell no!" says the Englishman, "... not if I'm going to have to explain it three times ....!!"

and the next.............

Australian, Yank and a Ruskie in a bar.
Ruskie says "We were the first nation to put a man into orbit"

Yank says "I can better that. We were the first to put a man on the moon"

Aussie says "You Losers. We are going to land a man on the sun"

Yank says "Don't be daft you'll burn up before you get there"

Aussie says "Got it cracked mate. We're going at night"

ey thenk yow

wez

Wez, my boy...keep swingin' low!!

Right! Gloves are off!

The Wallabies were playing England, and after the half-time whistle blew they found themselves ahead 50-0, Wendell Sailor getting eight tries. The rest of the team decided to head for the pub instead of playing the second half, leaving big Dell to go out on his own.

"No worries," Wendell told them, "I'll join you later and tell you what happened. "After the game Wendell headed for the pub where he told his team mates the final score - 95-9.

"What!!!!", said a furious Sterling Mortlock, "How did you let them get nine points? "Wendell replied apologetically, "I was sent off with 20 minutes to go."

lol, he was sent off!

this email arrived today:

• In 1991 Australia lost their No.8 and best forward Tim Gavin to injury on the eve of the World Cup
  
• in 2003 Australia lost their No.8 and best forward Toutai Kefu to injury on the eve of the World Cup
  
  
• in 1991 Australia was coached by a former Randwick forward who never played for Australia
  
• in 2003 Australia was coached by a former Randwick forward who never played for Australia
  
  
• in 1991 Australia won a crucial match against Ireland by 1 point
  
• in 2003 Australia won a crucial match against Ireland by 1 point
  
  
• in 1991 Australia upset the All Blacks in the semi-final
  
• in 2003 Australia upset the All Blacks in the semi-final
  
  
• in 1991 England won their semi-final without scoring a try
  
• in 2003 England won their semi-final without scoring a try
  
  
• in 1991 Australia was captained by a half-back
  
• in 2003 Australia was captained by a half-back
  
  
• in 1991 the Australian starting XV had 9 players playing for or originating from NSW
  
• in 2003 the Australian starting XV had 9 players playing for or originating from NSW
  
  
• in 1991 a President Bush declared war on Iraq
  
• in 2003 a President Bush declared war on Iraq
  
  
• in 1991 Penrith won the rugby league grand final
  
• in 2003 Penrith won the rugby league grand final
  
  
• in 1991 Australia defeated England in the final
  
• in 2003 [ fill in the blank ]

the email was labelled "some coincidences"

I'll say it again. C'mon England. I know, deep down, that it's highly unlikely we'll win, but you never know! EN-GER-LAND.. Swing low...etc!

A man meets a friend and sees that his mates car is total write-off and covered with leaves, grass, branches, dirt and blood. He asks his Friend "What's happened to your car?" "Well," the friend responds, "I ran over Jonny Wilkinson". "Fair dinkum," says the man, "that explains the blood... But what about the leaves, the grass, the branches and the dirt?" "Well, he tried to escape through the park."

Q. What do you call 15 guys sitting around the T.V watching the Rugby World Cup final?

A. The All Blacks


Ok, that's it from me for the jokes. Bring on Eng-er-land, good luck and good game to all!

Allow me this one please - (first and last time airing)

Two Australians sit in a bar after the Final looking miserable after losing the Cup
A bright and breezy Pom enters the bar and says "Come on Chaps it was only a game" to which the Australians reply
"It's not that mate - They are only serving FOSSESTERS"

(Humble Pie being baked in case )

Whatever the result - lets hope for a better game then the 3rd 4th place play off - I've only seen highlights but !!!!!

Good luck (and I mean that) to both teams, let's have a game which has us on the edge of the seat and enjoying every minute of it - regardless of the result!

Still think England by 10 (A converted try and Penalty goal)
PS.
How can you enjoy a pint before and then the game when it starts at 9AM in the morning!