On a tour of England, the Pope took a couple of days off his itinerary to visit the coast near Blackpool on an impromptu sightseeing trip.

His 4X4 Popemobile was driving along the golden sands when there was an enormous commotion heard just off the headland. They rushed to see what it was and upon approaching the scene the Pope noticed just outside the surf, a hapless man wearing an Australian Rugby jersey, struggling frantically to free himself from the jaws of a twenty-foot shark.

At that moment a speedboat containing three men wearing English rugby tops roared into view from around the point. Spontaneously, one of the men took aim and fired a harpoon into the shark's ribs, immobilizing it instantly.

The other two reached out and pulled the Aussie from the water and then, using long clubs, beat the shark to death.
They bundled the bleeding, semi conscious man into the speedboat along with the dead shark and then prepared for a hasty retreat, when they heard frantic shouting from the shore. It was of course the Pope, and he summoned them to the beach.

Upon reaching the shore the Pope went into raptures about the rescue and said, "I give you my blessing for your brave actions. I had heard that there were some racist xenophobic people trying to divide Australia and England, but, now I have seen with my own eyes this is not true. I can see that your society is a truly enlightened example of racial harmony and could serve as a model on which other nations could follow." He blessed them all and drove off in a cloud of dust.

As he departed, the harpoonist asked the others, "Who was that???!"

"That," one answered, "was his Holiness the Pope. He is in direct contact with God and has access to all God's wisdom."

"Well," the harpoonist replied, "he knows naff all about shark hunting. How's that bait holding up or do we need to get another one?"

If anyone's got time to read this in the next 9 hours, you'll understand where we Englishmen are arriving from........... !

%$$$%&&*"££!!

luv and good luck to everyone,(sheesh!!!!!) wez x

Shouldn't you be getting ready?

we're on our way, cya when we get back

&^%(*&^



but seriously, have a great night.

*&%^$^%

What a great game!

As much as it galls me to say this... Congratulations to Jonny Wilkinson, and the other 14 Englishmen that were there to make up the numbers.

Fantastic game! We are the champions, swing low, etc.

A B S O L U T E L Y ... A W E S O M E !!

A magnificent final - well played all!!

first World Cup for England since 1966, and that was extra time as well

well done lads!

Ah well we don't like to win them too often, we call it being sporting to let the other teams win! This time they couldn't have tried hard enough to lose, tut and to the host country too, very bad form.

Any truth in the rumour that toilet paper was exchanging hands for silly money amongst the Aussies when you lot drew level in extra time??

Good show Englishman. If I were over there with you I'd buy you all a pint or three of the cold stuff. Very gritty win and very much deserved.

I'll post mortem the game when my bottom lip stops dragging and interfering with my keyboard!

All those funny jokes and comparisons with 1991

well err what can one say

Swing Low Sweet Chariot!!

Heck, I'm really no sportsman but I did enjoy watching that game. As a proud Brit I have to say I liked the outcome too.

I realise that there are certain 'ribbing' rules to be observed between the Brits and the Aussies when it comes to sport but I hope no one minds if I break them to congratulate both teams on playing a great game.

Absolutely Martin, we must give the Aussies a big pat on the back, after all they did come second. Well done lads.

Hi all, and congrats to the lads for the win! I saw the game and I've seen the replays and I'm convinced the result went the right way despite the OZ 16 contriving extra time!

Bertho - we'll discuss it in the cold light of day - my own initial verdict is JOB DONE not pretty, not that entertaining but ENGLAND WIN THE WORLD CUP !

Er....... Swing looooooooooowwwwwwwwww! We are the champions, etc

It's a long time since I've spent a couple of hours feeling so tense. The Australians were fantastic - I felt that England were the better side but the Aussies' grit and determination was exceptional, and Elton Flatley has quite some nerve. There were quite a few moments when I was convinced we were going to do the usual and throw it all away. But we didn't.

As an aside, my 18 month old son has been walking around the house, 2 fists clenched, roaring (a direct copy of what both his parents did when the drop goal went over). I'm so proud.

I'm speechless!

Like Islingtonian says, I thought it was going to be a case of state normal again, but, flippin' 'eck, if they didn't just go and snatch victory from the jaws of......er........ victory.

Well played both teams. Thanks to Australia's Captain and Coaches gracious words and finally......

YAHOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Ahem.....Thank you for your indulgence.

wez
(I don't think Aus's PM took it too well! When he was dishing out the gong's to both teams, he had a face like a bulldog licking ***!!""£$%))%% off a nettle!) ah well.

I thought that the presentation of the medals to the Aussie Team was a disgrace. It was embarrassing to watch. They had played well and did not deserve to be given the medals that way

Yep........ I couldn't agree with you more SOTHC. Apparently he's been getting plenty of stick in the Aussie press though. That's his next term of office gone for a ball of chalk eh?

On a lighter note, and I promise this is the last one I shall post, there follows a short, hopefully amusing, joke:

Martin Johnson, Richard Hill and Jonny Wilkinson are standing before God at the throne of Heaven. God looks at them and says; “before granting you a place at my side, I must first ask you what you believe in.” Addressing Johnson first he asks, “what do you believe?”
Johnson looks God in the eye and states passionately, “I believe Rugby to be the food of life. Nothing else brings such unbridled joy to so many people from the grim North to the bright lights of Twickenham. I have devoted my life to bring such joy to people who stood on the terraces supporting their club.” God looks up and offers Johnson the seat to his left.

He then turns to Hill, “and you, Dicky, what do you believe?”

Hill stands tall and proud, “I believe courage, honour and passion are the fundamentals to life and I’ve spent my whole playing career providing a living embodiment of these traits.” God, moved by the passion of the speech offers Hill the seat to his right.

Finally, he turns to Wilkinson, “and you, Jonny, what do you believe?”


“I believe...” says Wilkinson “...you’re sitting in my seat”


Sorry, I know you've all heard it a million times before, with other names, but I just couldn't resist it.

wez

I knew which one was Howard but didn't know who the tall one was, apparently Syd Millar. His presentation of medals to the Australians was nothing short of a disgrace, I noticed however that he was smiling when the medals were being presented to the English players. What a toe-rag.

Is it safe in here? *bertho looks around suspiciously

Phew..

Sue, don't be too hard on Jonny H. If it was me, I would have plonked the box of medals in front of them to self-retrieve or tried to lob them over their heads from a distance frisby style

You know what's great about this WC. There has been a lot of 'well played,' 'good jobs,' 'the better team won' etc. No outrageous gloating 'we are the CHAMPIONS' and just the odd chorus of 'swing low sweet chariot, coming forth to carry me home...... etc etc. The aussies aren't in mourning. Not a one has cut their wrists. The papers on Sunday were full of praise for a classy final and a whole page was devoted to Jonny defending him as "SO MUCH MORE THAN A KICKER." Why don't I give you all the headlines from Sunday's paper:

The mans who rained on our World Cup parade: JONNY ROTTEN (front page)
BYE BYE BILL (back page - Bill being the nickname of the William Ellis Trophy)
Aussie Dreams Kicked To Death - Loved this one
So much more than a kicker - Minute by minute view of Wilkinson’s game
Old England turns game around
Jones lauds world champs
Lionhearted Poms Worthy Champions

The good thing, no one has been critical. The final was truly in the spirit of the game and everyone appreciated the guts every player showed.

The side that won this world cup, England, deserves all their spoils and I hope they are received as heroes over there. They deserve to be. They can now crown themselves officially as World Champions, a title they have unofficially held for two years.

Am I allowed in here? (Siri peering around the door) Just want to say congratulations to both teams and what a great game. It was certainly played in the true spirit of the game and was a great way to finish off the World Cup