A recent press release by the FDA states that random tests of domestic beers have revealed alarming concentrations of what is deemed the "female hormone" estrogen. Primary tests of the beverages in question indicate an acute pathology in males of a test population. 100 males aged 21-55 were administered the beer, 100 were administered a placebo and 100 were given water as a control. Three quarts of the respective liquids were given over a one hour period. The initial results indicate that beer turns men into women. It was observed that 100% of the beer drinkers gained weight, talked excessively making little sense, became overly emotional, argumentative and sensitive. In addition to being unable to drive, subjects would not admit to being wrong or apologize when they were; unanimously blaming their spouses for instigating the whole thing. Subjects were also noted to become obsessively preoccupied with their hair and with what every other man in the room was wearing. The FDA has petitioned Congress for a massive cash infusion to develop an antidote for what an undisclosed source described as the most dangerous threat to humanity since the plague.
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