Or it's great to live in Ohio...

'Police were called to the home of a North street woman at 12:42 pm Friday after a friend asked for a welfare check. A woman could be heard screaming from inside her home, so police broke down a back door and found her in the bathtub, where she had stated she had been for 17 hours. Ambulance attendants were called to administer treatment.'

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'JXXXX DXXXXXX reported at 4:22pm. Wednesday, that someone had removed 'plastic dinnerware' from her table.'

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'KXXXX HXXXXXX called officers to report a beaver or ground hog in her back yard exhibiting 'aggressive behavior'. When police arrived,the animal was "taken care of", and transported to the Veterinary Clinic to be tested for rabies.'