Law No. 1: NEVER REUSE A LEECH.

This should be obvious: It won't feed again for another six months. And the patient might have an infectious disease, so you don't want to risk putting it on another patient.

Law No 2: LEECHES WORK CHEAP.

They work cheap, too: just $6.90 apiece, which is reasonable.

Law No. 3: LEECHES ARE COOL AND SHOULD BE KEPT THAT WAY.

Leeches are kept in a kind of outsized fridge ordinarily used by florists. The creatures run about 3 inches long, and undulate through an assortment of fish tanks like tiny Loch Ness monsters. Some people find their red, brown and green shadings somewhat attractive. This is a minority opinion.

Law No. 4: NEVER RETURN A USED LEECH.

A used leech, sadly, is a dead leech. Once they drop off a patient, their work complete, they are dropped into a deadly alcohol bath.

Law No. 5: NOT ANY LEECH WILL DO.

Only one of the world's 650 species qualifies: The Hirudo Medicinalis, a specialist sporting 300 tiny teeth laid out in the shape of a Mercedes hood ornament. It's appropriate; the Hirudo is the top of the line in the leech world.

Law No. 6: DEALERS IN LEECHES GET NO RESPECT.

The first recorded use of leech therapy dates back 2500 years to the Egyptians, and it remained in vogue until the mid-1800s. The traditional red, white and blue barber pole? The red stripe once indicated that the shop dealt in leeches. But the leech soon got a bad rap. It's a natural revulsion. Some patients have given nicknames to their leeches, although they are a minority: Watching a leech get fat on your bodily fluids is not for the faint of heart.

Law No 7: DO NOT FEED THE LEECHES.
A leech eats about once every six months. Once sated, they are content to lounge about for as long as three years, making them the shiftless brothers-in-law of the animal kingdom. Leeches are shipped in water, live and hungry.

Pinhead, I just want to congratulate you on your enerringly correct choice to put this bit of information in Useless Trivia..

Enjoyable, nonetheless

Pinhead, I didn't know you were going to medical school.

Yes,fjohn, there are no limits to my talents; and if you believe that...Can I sell you the Brooklyn Bridge????

Pin, you want me to buy the Brooklyn Bridge when my grandfather purchased it in 1897? We still have the bill of sale.