More reports from my local newspaper...LOL

At 11:12pm, police responded to a South Union Ave. address where a married couple, both reportedly intoxicated to some extent, was having an argument about the husband coming home with beer instead of toilet paper. According to police reports, both individuals were talking loudly about the problem, allowing most of the neghborhood to enjoy the argument. No physical violence was reported.
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At 8:26pm, Axxxx Mxxxxxx reported her neighbor had taken a dead cat from the street and put it inside a box sometime last week. She said the neighbor keeps placing the box containg the animal's remains by her home, thinking the cat belonged to her. An officer spoke to the neighbor, advising him that the cat did not belong to Axxxxx, and remove it from her home, which he did.

Ain't life grand, in a small city.