lol T.W. I did something stupid after an operation in which I was under general anasthetic. When I woke up I instited to the nurses that I was fine and I was going home. I then tried to get out of the bed in the recovery warm and I was planning on walking home, however my legs were still numb so I just fell over!

Ooh, TW, when I was in the hospital having my daughter, I could have used that advice. Only, I got up and tried to go to the bathroom forgetting to take the rolling stand to which my IV was attached. Let me say that when you have been awake for 30 hours and in labor for 6, the sight of blood leaking down your arm is not a good one, and I'm not even squeamish about such things.

Here's another one: Hospital gowns go on with the ties in back. Now, when I had my appendix out last August, I had a good reason for putting my gown on backwards, and I did it intentionally. They were going to be doing some exams, and I thought I'd have to move about less with it tying in front. Since it was midnight then, I had been running a 104 degree fever for about 5 hours and my appendix was about to burst, I'm sure you can see how I might not have wanted to move around too much. But it sure did confuse the nurses in the operating room. The last thing I remember hearing before the anasthetic took effect was, as the nurses were trying to pull my gown out from under me to no avail, one voice saying "She's got her gown on backwards" and another laughing and saying "No, she's got it on FRONTwards!"

Your hospital gown on backward reminded me of an old joke about a man on a motorcycle riding home one night. It became very cold and his leather jacket didn't zip up properly so he stopped by the roadside and put his jacket on backwards.
He was warm and happy with this arrangement until a car appeared suddenly coming from a side road. The cyclist had to lay down his bike; too late! He hit the car and was knocked unconscious.
Minutes later the highway patrol showed up to give him first aid.
Second Officer on the scene: You say he died?
First Officer on the scene: Yes. He was alive when I got here. I saw his pitiful condition with his head all twisted around backwards. I tried to turn his head back around and that's when he expired.

To add to blurrystar1's hair dryer disaster, if you have very curly hair, don't use one of those electric hair straightener things on it. I bought something called a roto-styler or some such for my very curly hair. Needless to say, the darn thing go stuck. My husband had to bring a screwdriver into the bathroom and take the thing apart to get it out. It was either that or cut a huge chunk of hair off.

Indie, it is for reasons much like that (see my earlier post regardng bench grinders, among other things) I never kept any kind of styling impiments beyond a brush and comb in my house. My hair was naturally such tight ringlets that a curling iron, which also stood a good chance of going against the natural shape of my curls, usually just straightened it, and I'm sure you know what a hair dryer can do to curly hair.

Fortunately, or really unfortunately, having a child straighted my hair. It's got some wave to it now, and when it is humid it ALMOST curls, but those lovely ringlets you can see in my profile pic are completely lost.

You can have mine, Loth. When it's humid, I have this very unattractive Irish chick afro if I'm not careful.

Why on earth I ever bought anything with word "roto" in front of it to style my hair is beyond me. I generally associate "roto" with gardening tools.

When I was in high school I longed for my straight hair so have a slight curl, so I got it permed! Needless to say I looked like a fluffy poodle. And the most annoying thing is now my hair has grown out it has those slight curls I always wanted, £95 wasted to get my hair looking how it naturally is!

Here, I thought I'd post a link to the full version of my profile pick so you could really see the ringlets I'm talking about:

Me in a stream in Indianapolis, pre-baby and at my skinniest, though you can't tell from the pants I'm wearing or my position.

I wish I had a current picture that would be easy to post, so you could see the difference. It's really strange. I miss my curls. They were so... me.

So yeah, there's another one: If you have curly hair and really want to keep it, don't have kids. What you don't end up pulling out probably won't be curly anyway.

Funny, but after having three children and getting [much] older, my hair is now even curlier than it was when I was young, especially when it's humid outside. I don't do a lot to it, except to pile it on top of my head out of the way, for the most part. I wouldn't know what to do with short hair, so...I guess I'm stuck with the Katherine Hepburn look for good.
My first pick for appliances that should be banned are those curling irons with round brushes! If you are patient, you can unplug the thing and slowly release the victim's hair by two or three hairs at a time. But I have seen people panic and PULL on the curling iron, thus weaving the snarls even more tightly - just the opposite of what you must do to get free!

As a child of perhaps 10 years old, I remember my mother ironing my cousin's hair to make her curly hair straight. Cousin M. laid her head on mom's ironing board and mom tested for the proper temperature by licking her finger and singeing it to a temperature just before permanently losing her finger print and then applying the iron quickly to her niece's curls with a finesse that caused said niece to neither lose her hair or scald her scalp.
It was poetry in motion. My penchant for using soldering irons must be genetic, from the female side of the family.

My brother bought electric hair clippers. The sort that can be run all over the head. They have distancing pieces on to stop actual scalping. He hasn't got anyone who can do the back so he popped the clippers into his saddlebag. The idea was that I could do the back when we went out cycle-riding in the hills. So, we stopped at a suitably lonely spot in the countryside.

Out came the clippers. He took off his jacket and tied the arms of it around his neck to stop the hair from going down his shirt. Then he knelt down so I could attack the back of his neck with the clippers.

Nobody saw this sight but we both ended up laughing at what anybody would have thought coming across this scene. I mean, what would be the last thing you'd expect to see when out walking your dog in the middle of nowhere. It would probably be something like one bloke kneeling down having the back of his neck shaved with a pair of hair clippers by another.

Oh well, he perhaps won't ask me to do it again. The arms of the jacket were a bit bulky. This meant I couldn't get the right angle with the clippers. They didn't take any hair off at all, so I changed the distance piece for the next size down. That worked alright! He ended up with a near bald track going from the back of the neck to halfway up the back of his head.

At least he never got to see it until he got home, which meant he was too far away to beat me up!

Funny to hear about changes in hair texture due to children. My hair didn't change in texture, but in colour. I was a blonde before having children, but afterwards, my hair was light brown. I used to say that I gave my blonde to my kids - they are both very fair. My son in fact has albinism, and so was born with white hair. It has darkened now to a very pale platinum blonde.

too many to say!!

Mp3 player + toilet water= very bad, fatal, actually

Quote:

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Mp3 player + toilet water= very bad, fatal, actually

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LOL! Which reminds me: cell phone + coffee (with cream) = same result

That reminds me of an infamous incident in my house a few years ago involving the aquarium, the TV remote control and a scuba-diving action man, and your imagination can accurately fill in the outcome

Ooh, I got one! I didn't try this on purpose, but...

Angry cat+said cat's full bladder+computer keyboard= um, time for a new keyboard...

I suppose I could pass on a few DIY Don't tips....

1. Don't walk between the beams in the attic - you tend to fall through to the level beneath, it's much safer to stay ON the beams.

2. Don't free up the blocked lawnmower by hand without turning it off first - once freed up it works very effectively and cuts fingers just as well as it cuts grass

3. Don't reverse around a building in your car with the door open - it tends to come off at the hinges

4. Don't try to use diluted alcohol to flambée your baked alaska - it just won't light up

5. On the same theme baked alaska with no ice cream is no fun - remember to include the ice cream before popping it into the oven to bake.

6. Zapping the car keys to lock the doors is all well and good, just remember not to leave them in the boot before you close the door.

I'm sure I can remember a couple of other duds, given time. I'll add them in as they come to me.

And another poteen story!
My uncle found a bottle of something in the back of his work van and thinking it was out of date mineral poured out liquid onto the street and disposed of the bottle.
The liquid formed a puddle and along came his dog which drank it all up. later his brother came out to find the dog staggering up the yard. He ran and got his brother and told him to take his dog to the Vet because it didn't look to healthy.
On examination it turned out that the dog was drunk and the liquid was not mineral but poteen!

Can't imagine how bad that hangover would have been!

For us on the West side of the "Pond," Poteen is moonshine. Illegally distilled spirits.

Keeping a back up stick of deoderant in your glove compartment may SOUND like a good idea, but in fact is a melty mess waiting to happen.

Wet blue paint on walls + black dog with a balance problem = Dog with blue side and fur covered wall.

Plexiglass is not a good frog tank cover when you have cats. It may look sturdy, but I have two cats who will tell you different after falling in and getting soaked.

Do not inhale deeply when you have a powdered doughnut in front of your mouth.