Well, the date went fantastic! We're planning another for sometime after the holidays!

I must say, two days of sleeping well in a row! It feels good!
No downs yet, thankfully! I think today could be a great day!

-Daniel

Jane, I am, in my imagination, doing cart wheels for you. Just you remember: we all take what we can from the obstacles we get. I am so glad you are doing that. I imagine that everyone pretty much knows that I have Multiple Sclerosis now (never expected that to happen!). But every step forward is a great thing.

But I'm not visiting here to talk about that much (unless anyone is curious). I wanted to speak a bit about Santa. He came here on Christmas Eve. As we go, it is so easy to think that nice things don't happen, but they do. I live in rural Ohio that gets lots of snow at this time of year. I have a large driveway to shovel, and mostly can't now. An anonymous person came and did that for me, on Christmas eve. No request for pay, no announcement. To me, that person was Santa Claus. I woke up on Christmas day and that was a HUGE gift for me. That was my high point of this whole weekend.

'Nuff said. All is well in Gatsby-land. I just had to mention all that.

Gatsby, I'm always glad to see you here. I like this thread because we can post and share just what we need to.

My high and lows these days seem to melt together like mush. Or like that stuff on the road when the snow and salt mix together...never mind, you all get the idea...

I'm hanging in there or here or where ever this is...life...what ever that is.

I did get 'talk' on the phone to my two-year old nephew...broom broom he kept saying...to indicate he wanted to play with the play car he got for Christmas.

Happy cheer to all,
Joy

A bit of a lowish time, I hvaen't felt too well since before Christmas ans since I was travelling to stay with my frail mother this wasn't good. I managed to make it but really have not felt wonderful, I have lost about 12 pounds, final total to be confirmed when I get home! Not actually sure is this is good or bad news as I have masses of weight to lose but really would prefer not to lose it by being unwell.

More down, my mother has been feeling unwell too, not the same problem. This morning she wanted a doctor and with it still being a bank holiday in the UK this is less than good news. I have to say they were not too bad, once we spoke to one of the emergnecy doctors and my mothers said how she was feeling they got her a doctor in a couple of hours. He actually arrived the same time as my daughter and her fiance - a doctor! Mind you Gareth wouldn't have been allowed to treat her and he does children anyway.

The high is that my daughter is here so that is nice for mum. All we need now is for the antibiotics to kick in and all will be well.

My high is a possible first for FT- I wrote about an enlightenment teacher called Nick Roach I saw on the religion board, and he just emailed me to say he'd read it!
I said to my father after I saw him that I understood him so well that though I'm not enlightened I could help him with the teaching as I could present it the same way he does. Well guess what, Nick said he'd send me emails to post for him plus I can add my own ideas if I want. The next part is I recommended him to a radio show who has similar guests and the next day they called him! If they use him I'll be so pleased something I did actually worked, and who knows, I may be able to watch him there if I'm very lucky.

Yikers, it is New Year's Day. I'm off to a good start - made a couple of mistakes already! Trust me, there are more to follow. But I'm sitting here thinking. A New Year. How do I do it? I can't go totally crippled, I just can't. I am now just a withering old body in a very expectant place (it's big out here). MS is a puzzler to me. It just eats you up, and there is no way to stop it. I've lost friends AND family because this is happening, but I have come to reckon that that doesn't matter. It'll be an interesting year, I can for sure say that. 2005. My 30th year high school reunion. Taxes. Ugh. But maybe it will all be OK. Given luck, I will see this time next year. I wasn't supposed to see this one. I'm not sure if that all is a high point or low point. But I was just thinking...(and if it sounds like I might be a little afraid - bet your bottom dollar on that and add 100 more.)

I can't pretend to understand what you have to tackle each and every day Gatsby but if it helps I am rooting for you all the way.

That goes double for me Gatsby, what Sue said. Just take each day as it comes

That goes triple for me Gatsby.

Quote:

---

I've lost friends AND family because this is happening

---

The friends that have stayed with you, you know that they are true friends.

Yikes! Get your affairs in order? These doctors say such things so casually. 60 or 90 days - before yesterday those numbers sounded like speed limits on the highway! I don't know how to spend two or three months. I have a little money left so maybe I should finally get to Australia. I don't know. I can't keep my food down now so I'll likely not get anywhere. I have more buckets in my living room than Carter has liver pills. But I'm throwing up every 20 minutes! It's so strange how things happen. But I want to leave you with this, if I may: Our family used to have a cocker spaniel - and I would come over and run him almost daily. I could run then, and he kept right up. I used to be a really good dancer, too. I could knock the snot out of most people in tennis as well. But I'm told all that is gone now. I'll figure out how to close it in three months, I guess. And, if frisky enough, will prove that doctor wrong.

That is my "point" for today. I won't call it a high one or a low one.

Alright, don't you dare make me come up there and beat the snot out of you for making me cry! Are they for real, gats?? Please, please, please tell me you are joking... I couldn't stand it if you weren't...

to quote a famous Welsh poet

"DO NOT GO GENTLE INTO THAT GOOD NIGHT"

http://www.egr.unlv.edu/~rho/interests/other/poems/dylan.thomas/do.not.html

KEEP FIGHTING

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

-- Dylan Thomas


__________________________

Gats, I can rage for you, or with you, because I am not ready to lose your light!

Thanks, everyone. I'm a little out of jokes tonight.

<-- me crying right now

Just to add---> dying is the easiest and most natural thing in the world. If it happens naturally, that is. It's living sensibly that gets tricky. (And I loved the Dylan Thomas - he knew what I'm learning. Go down with a fuss. And know that there is nothing wrong with that.)

I'm thinking of you Gatsby...keep on fighting

If you make it to Australia Gatsby don`t worry, I have heaps of buckets at your disposal.
Wish I could still get into the chat room.

If there was just something we could do for you, just anything at all then we would be there for you en masse. Our good wishes go without saying, and our prayers.

I've been talking to gats, and I'm going to go up and visit him (me, the hubby and the dog), most likely around the first weekend of February. I'll take the camera, and get lots of pictures for everyone.

And I'm thrilled that Kelly and crew are coming! Don't get too carried away with that camera, though . And why do doctors cancel appointments at the last minute? I really think they are a heartless bunch of gloomies.

And, Sue - you are all right here with me. I maybe won't ever get to meet most of you. But there are a lot of FT people in my sensibilities. Given that, you can't really miss.

What a guy, no wonder we love you.

Although everybody is nice in the Forums (the ones I have dealt with anyway!) Gatsby couldn't choose a better name...the GREAT Gatsby. That what I think anyway.

Opening this one up again. I have a purpose for doing so.

Let me tell you about my day. I got a whiff of myself and caught my own stink. Pretty humiliating. But I haven't been able to bathe or shower for 6 months now. That bathtub is slippery. I'm unsteady enough on dry land. I got myself a glass of water yesterday. First one in almost a year. Getting to that darned sink is really hard for me. Then I had to think about replacing myself on FT. Most of you probably don't think about such things. But you all be nice to Leo, because I picked him. He's worth a look, if not more.

Now, as for why I am writing this...MS research. Please, if only you have a dollar and some change, donate to it. I'm not selling anything here but this disease is not only horrible but mysterious. It needs figured out. Send your bucks to the tsunami victims, too. The idea is to give if you can. And we all have something to give, right?