Most of you may have noticed that some people are privite with what they want to say,it is an issue to me when i am around those i don't know, but i still think it's so important to express yourself. Others might want to know what you are feeling so they can know how to act around you or to get to know you.(It could prevent you from making friends.) Sure, it's ok once in awhile but don't be afraid too often, (it could lead to lonlyness.)

Um, I'm sorry pinkster, but I don't really understand what you're saying as your post was hard to read for me. So could you please state what you are talking about more clearly so those of us who don't know will understand?

Take a look at the post "When I was your age". Lots of thots and expressions from different folks in there.
SSB

I know, but not just in her but in real life some people are just too shy.

Well, in here is a good place to start looking for those kinds of people. There are just as many who are open as those who are shy everywhere you look.
SSB

I usually don't tell people how I feel because I really don't think many people out there actually care, so I usually keep it to myself.

I think the more people who see it's safe to do so by other's examples will make it more acceptable over time. It's surprising how I find out as a counsellor how long people keep things bottled up for years as they don't want to look vulnerable of bother people. We're all pretty similar really so there isn't as much to hide as we expect.

Ladymacb, you have said that all much better than I ever could! I think that was the point I was trying to get across earlier, it just wasn't coming out very well.

Many people find it much easier to tell their problems and troubles to a complete stranger, far less embarrassing. I work for an organisation which gives advice and information, people come to us with every problem you can think of, then some more. We don't judge, we are completely impartial and unshockable, and once the person has left or put the phone down that is an end to it, we move on to the next person. They know they never have to meet us, unless they wish to, they never have to speak to us again.

When my best friend was in Scotland for 6 months we used to e-mail eachother a couple a times a day. It was very easy to be very open about basically everything, since we weren't eye to eye. But what a shock when he came back! Of course I knew he'd be back eventually, but I kind of forgot he'd still know all those stuff about me. And I knew things about him that he wouldn't normally have shared either. Yikes, the first time when we met after his return was pretty awkward!

I wrote a little book on counselling which I showed to a colleague who had also just written a book on hypnosis. He said 'Of course you know there's nothing new under the sun- everything we think is original has been found already and we're just presenting it in our own way'. Now whether or not he was right, it points out what I said, that there should be little or nothing in any of us (besides any criminality) which should really shock or surprise anyone. There are only so many things we can do or think of, with variations, and like Sue, I also hear more or less the lot, and when I started I expected such a wide variety of clients' problems, but most turned out to be variations on a few themes. People regularly preface a revelation, often after months of building up trust in me to do so, with 'This will shock you' or similar, and then come out with the sort of thing you can read about in a thousand novels or see in numerous TV soaps etc. In fact, the real stories will often need to be toned down for TV as people would be unlikely to believe them.

Just in my own case, I have been happy to say more or less anything about myself if I believe it will be received sympathetically, and here in the forums if someone else is good enough to share any personal problems (which of course will have a wide audience of helpful people to support them) I will do the same. When I used to listen to the counselling on the radio when I heard really reasonable and sensible people then admit they had all range of personal problems, it gave me hope to realise that problems didn't make a person different, but were something that's usually a part of what most would consider normal people and not something that makes anyone different, or worse, inadequate. I have my own share, but that's my classic Jungian 'dark side', a natural human balance that doesn't affect my status as a person, but is just an aspect of it.
Of course, we all have to select who we tell what to, and there are people who will always try and exploit other's weaknesses, or make fun of them or criticise them, but in my case I've heard it all before, and there are few if any original rude comments people can think of to throw at people, and it just shows them up for who they are in being judgemental. I am only too happy to discover a few special people who would understand me and accept me with all my deepest secrets, and the ones who didn't wouldn't really have accepted me anyway in the long run, as they'd only be accepting the bits I chose to show them, and not the whole. The first few times people confide in you can be a shock, but you soon get used to it.

I agree that we have heard most things many times but we must, as listeners, remember that to the person concerned this has assumed gigantic significance perhaps almost taking over their lives. We never just dismiss it as being commonplace, each is uninque because of the person concerned.

In the forums we do tell each other things about ourselves that we wouldn't necessarily tell people face to face.

You're right on the first point, Sue. One golden rule for counsellors is the client's problem is as big as they feel it is, not what we feel it is. Many of my clients on paper are far more successful than me, but only see the gaps and not the filling. Therefore it's sometimes as much about attitude than position, depending on what the problem is.
As I prefer to use cognitive therapy, which challenges the clients' conclusions they have made about their life to see whether they are accurate, it helps create a realistic attitude from one of focusing on the negative. Albert Ellis provided the main body of work on this, with his 'Rational Emotive therapy', though he tended to rely on this one 'False conclusion' method alone. I'd be happy to start a separate thread about counselling if anyone has questions about it (ie not actual problems for counselling online!).

That would be fine so long as we keep it general and don't actually provide a service - no insurance to cover us for a start.

I really enjoyed reading this thread because it addresses some of the issues that I think about a lot.
I am one of those people who have a really hard time talking to people I don't know. It sometimes gets to the stage where I literally freeze or run away So it always takes me forever to find friends. I agree that it is easier to talk to people over the internet (at least a bit).
Anyway, this thread helped me realize that I am not the only one who is scared, so thanks for that