I would like to wish SG and Moo, AND JTJ and Mr X, mutual happiness, joy and harmony in the coming year. I was lucky enough to make a number of cyber-friendships here, many if not most of which have continued over the years, some approaching the three-year mark in duration. These have enriched my life; only the tyranny of distance has prevented them from becoming even closer. Internet relationships can and often do work, so long as there is mutual interest and motivation. I know of several happily married couples who did indeed meet through the 'net. May your relationships continue and prosper.

Oh, yikes. I saw your name and I cringed. But, as usual, you are right. I think we all wish the best for those for whom it works (internet relationships, that is.). And we sympathize with those for whom it doesn't. I'm actually glad to see you back, Coolupway! Imagine that.

Well, when I first came to FT, I believed (independent of the earlier statement)that Internet relationships meant 'sleaze'.

Well, some of my friends (I am, will be, was quite straight forward in whatever I do!) have played a lot of pranks in the initial days, SENDING many a kid for a wild goose chase across 1000 km.

Well, after incidents, virtually all of us are skeptical (lest one of the 'travellers' decide that 'judgement day' has arrived')

"Hooray! At last! Someone has FINALLY resisted the temptation to post half a page of a no doubt well-meaning, but over-verbose opinion on the subject of internet relationships".

I think this comment is rude and unnecessary, as well as inaccurate, as I don't see that anybody here has been verbose.

This is a forum for discussion. If you want brevity, try a fill-in-the-blank quiz! They have a limit of four words.

How about a relationship that started in person and ends up being via the internet?? I met my boyfriend when I lived in Germany and we had nearly 6 months together before I had to come back to England. About a month later he went to America to study for a year... and that's the situation we're in at the moment. He's in the US and I'm in England. On friday we'll have been together for a year, and we'll have (just) spent more of our relationship apart than together... being apart wins by about a week. So far we seem to be keeping it going through email and msn messenger!

...I'd say no!
This thread immediately popped to mind when I read this article:
Budding cyber love...
It's funny, but sort of sad at the same time. Couldn't they have worked someting out?

In my personal experience they don't technically I've had two and regret them both. It's clear some do. But unfortunatly one got out of hand to the extent i had to change my user name and even stop going on the site, as the person in question got a little too obsessed and it creeped me out.

Also the internet nearly destroyed one of my met in real life type of relationships, fortunatly we are back together and all's good and woo!

We just celebrated our 3rd wedding anniversary. We met online. I guess we are one of the lucky ones.

Congratulations on 3 years! We just had our 3 month anniversary.

Oh, you newlyweds are so cute! Have you guys gotten settled in yet?

Not quite settled in yet, but it won't be much longer until we are.

After re -reading what all of us wrote months ago [right after I landed here at FT] I am amazed. A little embarrassed, too. How could things have turned out so differently than I predicted?

After being so adamant [and stick -like ] about finding love on the internet, I could've been wrong. I probably was. Knowing that someone like Gats is out there in the big world has changed my perspective on a lot of things. I was feeling pretty jaded at the time I wrote what I did about finding love on the net. I'm better now. True, it's not a fairy tale set up this time. But I'm still so lucky to know you, Dave. You are an amazing man. And here's to Moo, SG, Silvermoonsong , beee and anyone else I might have left out... Many more happy years to all of you. Cherish each other, and let the little skirmishes slide. Life is much too short.

Kt,

Funny you should mention the Sam Elliot handsomeness of your previous guy. Although your guy seemed like a jerk, my special someone actually does look like Sam Elliot and he is just amazing. I met him here about 18 months ago and he is so perfect.

Sometimes I ask myself, would I have been so attracted to this person had I met him in real life first? Not sure. It would obviously depend on the situation, but I tend to go for intellect, a sense of humour and sincerity, which I found almost imediately upon 'meeting' him here.

I have difficulty trusting people and I'm always suspicious of everyone, which doesn't look like a positive vote for internet relationships but as soon as I 'met' him I fell head over heels. Each day, learning more and more about this person, I felt compelled to share my life experiences and actually feel comfy about doing so. I've never felt like that with anyone before. I knew straight away, he was perfect. And he is, the greatest friend.

(He's gonna slap me one when he reads this, for sure. So I better duck out of the way of his big frypan he's threatened me with before... )

Life IS too short, you're right about that.

And, last but not least, Peasy. You've got my best wishes always. May the two of you happily saute' and al dente' [i.e. a relationship you can sink your teeth into ] into the sunset!

Thankyou so much kt, and you know what? He just PM'd me to say how sweet that was!

Hmmm, I've been thinking about this and I just don't know. I have had a few internet relationships that sooo did not work out, but that doesn't mean that the next one (or the one after, the one after that, with my luck ) won't work. I think it's about as hard to find that certain someone that's perfect for you on the internet as it is to find that certain someone in, well, the physical world.

KT, you and Gats are lucky, as you're both very sweet people, and you had the luxury of also being able to interact here in the forums as well as privately. A lot of people underestimate the importance of being able to see how someone interacts with others along with how that person interacts with you.

Usually on the internet it's a private conversation between you and a certain person, and a lot of times, they can display a certain side of their personality more effectively online than they could in person. For example, I had this internet relationship once where the guy was sweet as sugar to me, but once when we went out, the way he treated a waitress and another guy in line in front of us made me realize he was not a very nice person in actuallity, and on the internet he was only just telling me what I wanted to hear and would very likely soon start treating me like he treated everyone else we would run into.

Needless to say I got out of that right away, but I'm guessing that the percentage of internet relationship successes is probably along the same lines as the successes of relationships in which two people meet in a bar. Perhaps it's the alcohol that causes you to filter the stuff you would normally see as a warning sign, just as perhaps it's the internet the filters that same stuff.

Hmmm, I had a point... I think. Oh yeah, my point is that it can work and it can't work, but it depends on the people involved, just as it would any relationship. It's a big, big world out there, and sometimes, the perfect person for you needs some help finding you. The internet provides that access, it provides a lot of weirdos too, but no more than in the real world... like that weirdo on the bus who likes to smell your hair... ooops, that's another story.

I think you've got a handle on some important things, Gemini. Maybe it is an instinctive, unconsious effort to put your best self forward on line. After watching the folks here and on some other sites [after about six months or so] I began to notice patterns emerge which is really interesting to see. Some of the people who seemed to like me right away I don't hear from anymore, and some who wouldn't give me the time of day in January seem to think I'm at least 'okay' now.
I really believe that in a few months time, the real identity of a person will emerge by degrees, if they are regular posters, no matter how hard they might try to 'be somebody else' for a while.

My mother always told me to watch how my date treated the people in the grocery store, the gas station, the teachers at school.[My dad always warned me about men who wouldn't use turn signals and cut people off in traffic as being lousy boyfriend material!] They were right, and so are you. Time always tells, one way or another.

Hee hee, your parents were/are wise people.

I guess I should better step up and say something. I never get on-line expecting anything much. That I found Kate was a total twist of things. I've made so many friends here - that she charged in was a surprise. The friends remain, Katie remains. We all remain, really. I got lucky. Sure, Katie grabbed me in a spot I had ignored. Sue did, too, and Ren and Leo. Different but totally important. So I guess I'm liking internet relationships now. A bit of a departure from what I said before. Let's face it: I'm an elding crippled guy. Kate knows that. But what we have is letter perfect, for now. Do I believe in on-line relationships? Still not so much. Sorry, but I can't deal with the residuals of a meeting. I measure up pretty well here but to see me with hands that look like claws, all hunched over now - real life blows! But meeting people here is grand. Watching me slobber on my shirt and missing the toilet isn't. Safety in distance (geographically, anyway). I'm mostly a name on the screen. Nothing to offer here - what I've gotten back has been real good. Never expected to find it, though, and won't look again

You don't seem to have thought much here, dear boy, about what you have GIVEN us, not GOT. Your personality shines through in all this, and that is why we care for you. You are a giver and a carer, and we laugh with you, we share your troubles and we are helped by you .. I think you give far more than you get...

Very Nicely said Ren. I agree 100%

It is the special people in our lives who teach us without knowing it.Gatsby you are one of those people.

You have taught me that laughter is important in our lives,
friendships are rare but should be treasured when we find them,
It is better to be a giver and carer than to wallow in self pity,Loyalty is very important as that is when we find out exactly who our real friends are.

I always learn something new when I read your posts.
Thank you for being you.
PF